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working retail. ahh, memories.


iloveboxcars

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the A squad - get me some shirts from your work already. well when I have money I will go there and get a bunch of stuff. c'mon bean.

 

I worked at footlocker as my first job. free shoes for me free for everybody else. it was alright. Then I worked at bed bath and beyond, that job sucked. Later a skateshop. easiest job ever but pay sucks. I just stopped going one day because I didn't want to.

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actually the toy store wasn't a bad job now that i think of it. i would often work by myself(it was a small store) so i would go in the back room and smoke a bowl and come back out reeking of pot. i got alot of funny looks from parents. i also fucked my co-worker on my boss's desk. good times.

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I don't remember my retail days too much ... its been a long time.

 

One of my favorite times was at a place that sold over priced storage shit. I was floor sales, and I was in good with the lowest level manager and the shipper ... who were stealing and doing a bit of credit card fraud. I was getting shit from them when they were doing the illegal shit.... when loss prevention came down from the head office those two got canned and I got promoted to the shipper position, then a bit later got the low level manager spot. The store manager and loss prevention was none the wiser.

 

My first job was concessions at a amphitheater .... Evil shit went down there. Selling moldy pizza. The worst was the first show one season we found a hot dog that stayed in the cooker the whole off season and we served it. Extra seasoning on the burgers, I mean small insects on the burgers. The 3 second rule was in full effect there too.

 

Anyone complaining about people fucking with food first off have never worked with food (which sucks ass, respect due), and secondly are ignorant to think that shit doesn't happen on the regular. Be nice to anyone at any food place you go into (you pay for being a jackass), past that ignorance is bliss. You will still find me in line at Cinnabon even after that story grossed me the fuck out.

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i did the cook thing for 7 years... when i was workin in kitchens only thing i really did as far as fuckin with food was fuck up orders on purpose (ie cook the bag out of a steak that was supposed to be rare) if the srever was bein a dbag so they would get a shitty tip.... or put plates in the oven for a minute and then watch the dbags burn themselves.....

it was more fun to put a splash of vinegar in coworkers drinks so when they came off the line thirsty as fuck and started gulpin that shit you got a pretty sweet reaction.... always sniff before sip....

that and food fights.... you have no idea how much joy it can bring you to hit someone in the back of the head with a ball of whipped butter from across a kitchen....

 

i worked retail jobs when i was younger but i also burned all the time so most of my stories bout that ish are long forgotten....

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That is the most fucked up shit. I have a little daughter and she likes Disney stuff' date=' If I bought her said Nemo doll and found that shit I would go to your store and burn that fucking place down with your dumb ass in it. Really, do the world a favor and kill yourself, you piece of shit.[/quote']

hahaahha relax man it was a fucking joke..hahahahahahahahah

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Hmmmm....

 

 

Sprayed adhesive glue on two headless, nearly anatomically correct mannequins which gave the appearance of a bukake fest. They were sitting in the back of the stockroom that also had a door from recieving to the bathroom, many people surely saw it. Later, I took a metal pipe to the mannequins to destroy the evidence, but not before I took many pictures that I may eventually get around to scanning and posting.

 

Stole about $500-800 dollars worth of merchandise from the same store (books, clothings, software, supplies, it was a big-name college book store).

 

When I got fired for being 2-5 minutes late for numerous shifts during a meeting with the head of human resources and my manager (even though I always finished my work and often stayed late), when they said "you could come back in a few months and see if we need you" I said "no thanks, this woman (manager) is a fucking bitch, fuck her", then they had security escort me out and I gave the midget the finger about 6 inches from her face. I heard she cried for about 2 hours afterwards. The other reason they had for firing me was that I didn't show up to inventory because I was sick with the flu and a 102 degree fever.

 

 

 

 

Not retail, but when I worked as a car courier running routes all over the eastern half of the state, I got fucked over for $300 dollars after I quit. Knowing that I wasn't going to recieve my paycheck and after getting cussed out and nearly punched by the ex-boss for mentioning legal remedies, I went in a week later to return the Nextel and pager, which I put in my asscrack (but not up my butt) after doing a mediocre job wiping my ass, and sat on for the 30-minute car ride there. Then I got to watch him test out the Nextel and put it up to his mouth and say "It smells a little funny". EyeforanEye was there, he'll tell you. Then I made the mistake of posting the story to a major courier board on Yahoo and was convinced by people there to name the place. Two days later, I get a phone call from the guy saying he was going to sue me for slander, libel, and then punch me in the face. Told him "I don't know what you're talking about" and hung up on him, never heard from him again. I was still going to take him to small claims, but I got lazy about it. I later found out that he had forged my signature onto my paycheck and cashed it into his own account, from the checking company that did his paychecks.

 

Dropped a lot of computers and I-Pods while working in the stockroom of an Apple Store. Those things are heavy.

 

Hid myself behind clothes and boxes in the stockroom of that college store (really big, two buildings, four floors in each one) and took catnaps on a regular basis. No one ever found out.

 

hmmmm....

 

I was four hours late to a shift at a CVS on a couple of occasions and I was the one that wound up quitting. That's kind of boring, but true.

 

When I worked at a warehouse for a music retail chain, I'd write little messages on the price tags for merchandise from shitty bands, like "Fuck Limp Bizkit", "Korn is for fags", etc. I'd also show up 2 minutes late and then get suspended for a day, then two days, then a week, then two weeks and get cussed out by the slavedriver. Literally, 2-5 minutes late for a nine hour shift in the fucking basement of a warehouse. I don't understand why they didn't just fire me, I wound up quitting and they were all like "awww, well, we hope you come back".

 

 

Told two Russian women to be quite during a movie at the theater I worked at. They followed me out and started yelling at the people working the counter and at me, told me they'd call the cops for scaring and harrassing them, etc etc. Then they came out after the movie and into the booth and started yelling at me about how they'd get their boyfriends to come and beat me up, calling me a "spoiled little punk". I calmly picked up the phone and told them I was calling the police and they ran out. These women were in their 30's and clearly they were the ones that were spoiled.

 

We'd always cut off the MPAA ratings for films before the trailers and after the films because the oldest guy there had a raging hatred for the MPAA, just because they were bastards. But there was never any splicing of porn into films.

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When I sold cars, I sold this 18 year old girl with bangin credit a car with a rediculous markup for my pockets. I had her sign her contract and sent her on her way. I forgot to give a copy to her though. Moments after she left I got a fax from another bank offering me more money. I promptly called her back and told her that i had her sign some one elses contract on mistake and that she needed to come back and sign a new one.

 

On top of all that she said that she was buying the car for her boyfriend that she met online a few months earlier and didnt want her parents to know. I promptly had all of the paper work that comes with buying a new car go directly to her dads house.

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my first job i ever worked at was golden corral.. one day i pull up with the windows down and it fucking stinks ..i mean really bad. it smells like shit. seriously. so sitting in my car..with the windows up i call my manager and ask what the hell is going on.. he tells me there was problem with the sewage..and i tell him im not gonna work, and what the fuck were we still doing open. he said they cleaned everything up this morning..

 

basically.. he wouldnt let me off work. so for whatever reason i walked inside, and i started gagging. and what was making me even more sick is that people were sitting there eatting, like it was nothing. so i go to the managers office and he explains that the sewage backed up.. that means it backed up into EVERTHING, the soda fountian machines, the bathroom toliets, the sinks in the kitchen, fucking SHIT literally had gone on to the carpets and everything else..

 

he wouldnt let me off..so i walked out that day..and never came back.

 

i refuse to eat there too

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Pizza job - I was 16 and left to run the store with a new guy (I had been there a month). The assistant manager who sucked, strolled in, went back and tried to be sly digging around the safe. Than later, his homeboy came in who also worked there, same routine. Realizing the set up for what it was, I went back to the safe and stole like $40. The next day my boss was like 'did you steal $100 last night' and I denied it and explained that the other two had been in. They got fired, I kept the $40. I got fired a week later for stealing garlic sticks.

 

I got a blow job from a co-worker when I worked at a dry cleaner. It was the best blow job I've ever had to this day...her boyfriend came to pick her up a few hours later. They're married now. I also use to steal anything people left in pockets. I used to come up on $20-$100 a day, plus find pills, knives, anything you can think of really.

 

When I worked at Subway I used to trade my friends sandwiches for getting me stoned and picking me up. I got fired with the quickness from there too...

 

Ah, highschool.

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my first job ever set a bad precendent:

 

15, ERI (old gov't program in the early 90s that gave summer jobs to poor kids)

 

we worked for the city public works department. we were supossed to work (and got paid for) 8:30-5, 1/2 hr lunch

 

1st day of the job: boss, Jerry split us into two groups: the "gooks" (Viet immigrant kids who just moved to our town who actually had to do the real hard work) and everyone else (Americans basically, black, white, hispanic kids).

 

 

So our day basically went like this:

 

boss would show up at 10am and take us to Mcdonalds for b-fast (as our 15 minute break, lol). Come back at around 10:45 and work till 11:30 or so. Go to lunch Come back by 1:30. Work 1 hour, take a water break to 7-11, work 30 -45 minutes more and go home around 4...

 

Make $200 a week when your 15 is bad.... i blew all the money on weed, alcohol and jewelry and pizza and arcades

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I used to work at franks nursery and crafts when i was like17. During the xmas season I would sell awesome $150 trees to people that couldnt afford them for like $50 and keep the money for myself. They fired one of my boys after halloween. We were supposed to be throwing away all the rotting pumpkins in the dumpster but thought it would be much more fun to launch the smaller ones onto the roof of the dollar theater next door. That was awesome. They fired him for that shit though and the theater ended up with a bird problem.

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On top of all that she said that she was buying the car for her boyfriend that she met online a few months earlier and didnt want her parents to know. I promptly had all of the paper work that comes with buying a new car go directly to her dads house.

And she deserved it because she's a stupid bitch.

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I remember one of my old friends used to work the check out line at this grocery store. Whenever a customer would complain and ask for the manager, he'd say "sure, hold on". Then he'd turn around 180 degrees, and then back again facing the customer and say, "Hi, how can I help you?"

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Karmas a bitch... I work semi-retail, and one my co-workers called in sick today. So that means if it gets busy, I gotta deal with asshole customers at the front counter. I usually leave early Sunday or don't show up at all, but today, I'm stucking closing down shop as well. Off at 10... Fuck!

 

 

*Sorry had to vent somewhere.

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