Stories you tell at the bar...Fathers Day Edition

[DEE38]

My dad had me when he was in his 50's so I didn't really see much of his crazy younger side.

 

But my sister used to sneak out at nights to see her boyfriend or whatever. Anyway my parents would wake up in the middle of the night and check on her, and when they'd find her gone my Dad would get his riffle and sit on his chair in the porch and wait for them. She'd run off during the day too and my dad would do the same thing, sit on the porch with his riffle. The cops would drive by and stop and ask my dad what he was doing. He'd grab a piece of cloth and be waxing that shit like "Cleaning my riffle mind your fucking business" and they'd leave.

 

now this is really funny because my dad is gunna be 80 next year and still kicking ass. last year... this japanese dude/neighbor started comming over to their house back home (so my mom told me) and would want to talk to my mom for whatever reason (i think he was like kinda retarded and had a crush on my mom) well my dad 78 at the time, started doing the same thing again. sit outside on the porch with the same old riffle.... and the last time the guy came by my dad started pointing the riffle at him swearing shit like "im gunna fucking shoot you, you fucking jap motherfucker" and what not. the guy never came back or passed by their house. this was like last year

[DEE38]

and my mom told me about the time right after he got divorced from his first marriage he was single for a while and didnt get any for a while too, so his friends being the awsome people they were hired some hooker to go to my dads house. i can't belive my dad told my mom but i find it funny and gross.

 

my dad is really awsome though.

[Spitfire15]

Oh man,cant belive i forgot this one.

 

 

My dad used to live in Ohio until he was like 30. When he was a kid him and his friends would play this trick on folks. Theyd take a purse or somthing like that and tie fishing line(along the lines with dollar and fishing line),and leave it by the side of the road. He lived out in the hills,so there were woods everywere. Anyways,people would come driving down the road,see the purse stop their cars and get out and come walking over,and as soon as theyd bend over to pick it up,theyd twitch it away.By now they would all be luaghing there asses off and the people would get all pissed. Every once and awhile the folks would get chase them and shit but being little kids agile kids theyd all take off in the woods and the people would try and chase them. People would up eating shit and fallign down hills and knocking their selves out on tree branches and shit.

 

Edit: And while were along the lines of parents being retarded. My mom and her friends would take dog crap and wrap it in gift wrap,light it on fire and take off and(as you could guess,to no surprise) people would open the door and stomp on it and get shit all over the place.

[AyeBee]

Story 3: My brother was in the Air Force, living in Germany and then South Carolina. While in South Carolina he bought a brand new Mitsubishi Galant, pretty nice. Anyways, so like 3 or 4 years ago he comes home, brings the car with him, and immediately stops makin payments on it. Amazingly, the creditors don't really start calling like crazy for about a year, but when they do they keep tellin us they're gunna repo the car, etc, etc. My brother doesn't live with us, but it's the only known address they have for him so of course they started posting up around the house

 

None of us really thought much of it, but as soon as my dad found out he decided to put an end to it. He walks outside with a baseball bat, walks up to the repo guy's car, and smashes the windshield out. The guys started to jump out of the car, and before they could even say anything my dad told em "If you ever fuckin come back here again I'll be comin outside with the shotgun next time". The cops came like an hour later, but nothing ever came of it cuz they had no proof...anyways, point of the story is the repo guys never came back

 

By the way, my brother still drives that car to this day, with the S. Carolina plates cuz he can't register it. I have no idea how he's kept it this long, but he has

[IrishCarBombs]

one time after my little borther's birthday party

my cousins,their friends, and my dad went to a bar in the neighborhood. When a bunch of kids from another neighborhood came. When one of the kids form out of the neighborhood tried getting with my cousin's girl, and she throw a cup of beer in his face, which caused the kid to smack her. As soon as this happened an all out brawl happened in the bar. And i remember my family and their friends were out numbered by all the kids. All i remember was hearing about all other older kids jetting to the bar to fight and in the end, 5 kids got arrested including my dad. When he came home form bookings he had 2 of his theeth in his pocket, he said they got knocked out in the fight, so he picked them back up put them in his pocket and continued to fight. Everyone says he knocked out atleast 3 kids, but i loved it cause everyone in my neighbor found out and thought it was the funniest thing that we was fighting with a bunch of 20 year olds. Also after it all the charges were dropped

[IrishCarBombs]

Also when my dad was young, he grow up in the projects in Coney Island,New York.

He says he used to be in some little gang when he lived there, and tells us stories of how he's seen dead bodies, fights between other gangs, friends killed, and all other stories about fucking around,viloence, and wrecking things. He was also kicked out of all the old Coney Island's ride for life on time. hahahahahaha