podrido Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Man Actually Buys and Uses Bowling Alley Condom Written by Johnny Moodis The condom machine in question.In a rare event, 27-year-old Glen Harrison actually purchased a condom from the machine in a bowling alley restroom on Friday night. Harrison was on a date with Brenda Watson, 24, at the Lanes O' Fun bowling alley when a drunken Watson suggested that they go back to Harrison's place. "Friday night is long island iced tea night at the alley," Harrison said. "Brenda must have put away about seven of them. She was really hammered, but hey, when I get an opportunity, I take it." After Watson's suggestion, Harrison realized that he had no condoms at his apartment, since he hasn't needed one in five years. Not wanting to discourage Watson's mood by wasting precious time going to a drug store on the way home, Harrison desperately went to the restroom and bought a Lucky Night brand condom from the machine for 50 cents. "Yeah, I was a little concerned about the quality, but I'm not riding that bike without a helmet on," Harrison said. "That girl has been around the block more than the ice cream man." While the condom was ill-fitting and dry, and despite the fact that Watson passed out immediately afterwards, the operation was a success. "Bing, bang, boom. Done," Harrison said. "The whole thing lasted about 45 seconds, so the discomfort of the condom wasn't really an issue." The next morning, after Watson stumbled home, Harrison went out and bought a large quantity of Trojans. "Given my track record, and my appearance, another one-night-stand is highly unlikely, but you never know," Harrison said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ego maniac Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa "Friday night is long island iced tea night at the alley," Harrison said. "Brenda must have put away about seven of them. She was really hammered, but hey, when I get an opportunity, I take it." this guys'a winner..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.88 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Nevermind... But very odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 AWESOME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerm4 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 "Yeah, I was a little concerned about the quality, but I'm not riding that bike without a helmet on," :) hahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 is this from the onion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 it has to be. reads exactly as they write. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I hope he still pulled out usin a condom like that haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r00t Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 thats called rape Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 ^^hahaha ive pulled out using shady condoms before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIVERWURST* Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Why use condoms? That's what the day after pill is for... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skilla54 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 AIDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydoses Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 thats right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doeyemakeyou Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 if i were ever to use a condom that would be the one id use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainter Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 7 long island ice teas damn they must have been weak 2 of top shelf will knock me on my ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transparent Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 The next morning, after Watson stumbled home, Harrison went out and bought a large quantity of Trojans. "Given my track record, and my appearance, another one-night-stand is highly unlikely, but you never know," Harrison said. priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I used to hate condoms. These days I keep my shit in a ziplock at all times. There're chicks out there that'll tell you they're on birth control and you don't need one, then come morning they're confessing to having some shit on their na-na that they caught from their 'ex'. Yeah right, bitch. I've known you for two weeks and you're ready to let me slide in without a glove... how were you actin' BEFORE you got burned? oh yeah. the article. the onion was great. back in 2000 or so.. now if I want that kind of humor I'll just watch The Daily Show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetodestro Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I coulda swore the title of this thread was "Man buys used condom". I read the whole thing and was disapointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetodestro Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 thats called rape You're an idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 fuckin freeze dried condoms... just add water... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I did that the other day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Condoms suck, I can't nut with one...me and my girl now don't use em, only when I feel like goin for a marathon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpyD Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Yeah right, bitch. I've known you for two weeks and you're ready to let me slide in without a glove... how were you actin' BEFORE you got burned? hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Issac Brock Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I bowled 182 today, 5 strikes in a row. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetodestro Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Condoms suck' date=' I can't nut with one...me and my girl now don't use em, only when I feel like goin for a marathon[/quote'] Word. Just be sure to pull out. I'm not sure if you're Mexican or not but apparently they refuse to pull out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Just kill the girls when your done it works for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shitting Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I don't get it.........is it funny becasuse he used a vending machine condom ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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