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Ayyyyyyyyyy... what you know about that?


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Lucy was 7 and wore a head of blue barettes. City born, into this world with no knowledge and no regrets. Had a piece of yellow chalk with which she'd draw upon the street, the many faces of the various locals that she would meet. There was joshua, age 10, bully of the block. Who always took her milk money at the morning bus stop. There was Mrs. Crabtree, and her poodle She always gave a wave and holler on her weekly trip down to the bingo parlor.

 

And she drew: Men, women, kids, sunsets, clouds. And she drew: Skyscrapers, fruit stands, cities, towns. Always said hello to passers-by, they'd ask her why she passed her time attachin lines to concrete, but she would only smile.

 

Now all the other children living in or near her building ran around like tyrants, soaking up the open fire hydrants They would say, "Hey little Lucy, wanna come jump double dutch?"

 

Lucy would pause, look, grin and say, "I'm busy, thank you much"

 

Well, well, one year passed and believe it or not, she covered every last inch of the entire sidewalk, and she stopped. "Lucy, after all this, you're just giving in today??"

 

She said, "I'm not giving in, I'm finished." And walked away.

 

 

Now Lucy was 37, and introverted somewhat. Basement apartment in the same building she grew up in. She traded in her blue barettes for long locks held up with a clip. Traded in her yellow chalk for charcoal sticks. And she drew little bobby who would come to sweep the porch. And she drew the mailman, delivered everyday at 4. Lucy had very little contact with the folks outside her cubicle day, but she found it suitable, and she liked it that way.

 

She had a man now, Rico, similar, hermit. They would only see each other once or twice a week on purpose. They appreciated space and Rico was an artist too, so they'd connect on saturdays to share the pictures that they drew.

 

Now every month or so, she'd get a knock upon the front door. Just one of the neighbors, actin nice, although she was a strange girl. Say, "Lucy, wanna join me for some lunch??"

 

Lucy would smile and say, "I'm busy, thank you much"

 

And they would make a weird face the second the door shut, and run and tell their friends how truly crazy Lucy was. And Lucy knew what people thought but didn't care cuz while they spread their rumors through the street she'd paint another masterpiece.

 

 

Lucy was 87, upon her death bed at the senior home, where she had previously checked in. Traded in the locks, and clips for a head rest. Traded in the charcoal sticks for arthritis, it had to happen. And she drew no more, just sat and watched the dawn. Had a television in the room that she'd never turned on. Lucy pinned up a life worth's of pictures on the wall and sat and smiled, looked each one over, just to laugh at it all.

 

No Rico, he had passed, 'bout 5 years back, so the visiting hours pulled in a big flock o' nothin. She'd never spoken once throughout the spanning of her life until the day she leaned forward, grinned and pulled the nurse aside. And she said,

"Look, I've never had a dream in my life bcause a dream is what you wanna do, but still haven't pursued. I knew what I wanted and did it till it was done so i've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one!"

 

Well, The nurse jumped back. She'd never heard Lucy even talk, especially words like that. She walked over to the door, and pulled it closed behind. Then Lucy blew a kiss to each one of her pictures and she died.

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The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck pushed out the boundaries of knowledge in a rather improbable way when it was recorded by Dutch researcher Kees Moeliker.

 

It may have ruffled a few feathers, but it earned him the coveted Ig Nobel prize for biology awarded for improbable research, and next week he will be recounting his findings to UK audiences on the Ig Nobel tour.

 

Ducks behave pretty badly, it seems. It is not so much that up to one in 10 of mallard couples are homosexual - no one would raise an eyebrow in the liberal Netherlands - but they regularly indulge in "attempted rape flights" when they pursue other ducks with a view to forcible mating. "Rape is a normal reproductive strategy in mallards," explains Mr Moeliker.

 

As he recounts in his seminal paper, The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos, he was in his office in the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam, when he was alerted by a bang to the fact a bird had crashed into the glass facade of the building. "I went downstairs immediately to see if the window was damaged, and saw a drake mallard (anas platyrhynchos) lying motionless on its belly in the sand, two metres outside the facade. The unfortunate duck apparently had hit the building in full flight at a height of about three metres from the ground. Next to the obviously dead duck, another male mallard (in full adult plumage without any visible traces of moult) was present. He forcibly picked into the back, the base of the bill and mostly into the back of the head of the dead mallard for about two minutes, then mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force, almost continuously picking the side of the head.

 

"Rather startled, I watched this scene from close quarters behind the window until 19.10 hours during which time (75 minutes) I made some photographs and the mallard almost continuously copulated his dead congener. He dismounted only twice, stayed near the dead duck and picked the neck and the side of the head before mounting again. The first break (at 18.29 hours) lasted three minutes and the second break (at 18.45 hours) lasted less than a minute. At 19.12 hours, I disturbed this cruel scene. The necrophilic mallard only reluctantly left his 'mate': when I had approached him to about five metres, he did not fly away but simply walked off a few metres, weakly uttering a series of two-note 'raeb-raeb' calls (the 'conversation-call' of Lorentz 1953). I secured the dead duck and left the museum at 19.25 hours. The mallard was still present at the site, calling 'raeb-raeb' and apparently looking for his victim (who, by then, was in the freezer)."

 

Mr Moeliker suggests the pair were engaged in a rape flight attempt. "When one died the other one just went for it and didn't get any negative feedback - well, didn't get any feedback," he said.

 

His findings have provoked a lot of interest - especially in Britain for some reason - but no other recorded cases of duck necrophilia. However, Mr Moeliker was informed of an American case involving a squirrel and a dead partner, although in this case it is not known whether the necrophilia observed was homosexual or not as the victim had been run over by a truck shortly before the incident.

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let me see ya bounce

right to left and let ya shoulder lean

(hey hey let ya) shoulder lean

(yo just let ya) shoulder lean

 

 

----------(not TI)

GIRL I NEED UR PHONE NUMBA

u betta not gimme the wrong numba

 

BOY i need ur phone numba

u BETTA not gimmme the wrong numbaa

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You know about me dog

Don't talk about me dog

And if you doubt me dog

You better out me dog

I'm throwed off slightly bro

Don't wanna fight me bro

I'm fast as lightening bro

You better use your Nike's bro

 

about

doubt

out

slightly

fight me

lightning

nike's

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