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willy.wonka

JOKES - some will never die...even when they should

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why did they invent the shopping cart? :confused:

 

so women dont have to walk on all fours :)

 

 

guy is buttfucking his girlfriend and accidently breaks his dick on her ass..a week later it still hurts and so he goes to the doctor.. the doctor tells him that he cant fix it with any normal surgery, but an experimental surgery has proven to work 90% of the time. the doctor tells him that they implant muscles from a baby elephants trunk into the penis and that most patients are satisfied. so the guy agrees and gets the surgery done on his penis. a week later he's all healed up and wants to take his girl on a dinner movie date and then fuck the shit out of her.

 

so while thier at the dinner table he feels a tremendous pain comin from his pants (this is where you grab your dick and pretend that it really really hurts)

ALL OF A SUDDEN!!! he dick pops out of his pants, grabs a dinner roll and goes back into his pants!!

 

he was a bit shamed of this action, but his girl was excited.

she asked, "can you do that again?!" with a happy look on her face. he replies, "yes, but i dont think my ass can take another roll"

 

fozzie.jpg

HEY!! WAKA WAKA WAKA

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

 

 

It went down the road and turned into a field!

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

did you ever hear about that guy who ate a bunch of food last night and now he has to take a massive shit??...

 

 

well now you just did.

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

those jokes they used to have on the mini adds on tv just before green wing came on during the last series were amazing.

stuff like;

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car

quick! get in the car!

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

How do you get a clown out of a swing?

 

 

 

Throw an axe at it's face

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

those jokes they used to have on the mini adds on tv just before green wing came on during the last series were amazing.

stuff like;

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car

quick! get in the car!

 

i laughed for ages at this, i was expecting a 'proper' joke

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Re: JOKES - some will never die

 

wanna hear a joke?

 

why do girls have boobs?

 

for guys to look at.. allriiight gidigy gidigy

Why do women have boobs?

 

So you got something to look at while you're talking to them.

-fuse.

 

*edit, I'll feel like an even bigger ass when this isn't exactly correct.

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Re: JOKES - some will never die...

 

One chlorine atom says "I think I gained an electron", another chlorine atom asks "are you positive?", "No! I'm negative"

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Re: JOKES - some will never die...

 

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

-fuse.

 

2 blondes walk into a bar

 

youd have thought one of them would've seen it!

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