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Guest R@ndomH3ro
Originally posted by johnny ballbags+Mar 31 2006, 10:32 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (johnny ballbags - Mar 31 2006, 10:32 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-deterrent@Mar 31 2006, 09:50 AM

OK hears the question:

I'm a little bored with my girlfriend how can I spice things up?

get one of these:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[/b]

 

 

Wait a minute you can't aswer questions unless your OG, peoples feelings get hurt. :haha: :rolleyes:

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Originally posted by Rude&InTheNude@Mar 31 2006, 02:52 AM

Dear OG,

 

Why is it that whenever I get very infatuated with someone, everyone from my past (especially the fiiiiiine ones) try to hollar? It's like they picked up a "last call for Rude&InTheNude" radar? Is my ass glowing like a baboon in heat?

 

That, my friend, is the way the world works. Women have a sixth sense. It enables them to sense a lack of misery in past conquests and act upon it. Women are not able to function unless they leave a perpetual trail of misery in their wake.

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Originally posted by rattleytins@Mar 31 2006, 08:00 AM

which came first, the chicken or the egg?

go on OG, you can finally answer it for all of us

 

The chicken, like all birds, evolved from dinosaurs, so the evolving chicken had hatched from eggs many, many millions of times, each time becoming closer to what we think of as a chicken. I suppose one could say that the egg came first, since a near-chicken birthed the egg that the eventual chicken came from.

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Originally posted by deterrent@Mar 31 2006, 10:50 AM

OK hears the question:

I'm a little bored with my girlfriend how can I spice things up?

 

I excel at relationship advice. I should get more questions like this.

 

First, you have to realize that all girls are more or less the same. Very few girls of good standing are willing to take it in the ass, or do most shit you see in the average porn nowadays. Ditching this girl and moving on to another will probably be more of the same. Conversely, men expect more because of the porn they watch, which has steadily pushed more and more fetish activity into the mainstream. Ten years ago, I doubt many men would dream of facefucking their loved one, or pissing in her mouth, but times are a changin'. If you find a girl that's freaky from the start, chances are high she has serious issues, diseases, or other shit you will not want to deal with.

 

You may want to start off with some light bondage, or possibly introduce a dildo into her life. I would opt for something smaller and less intimidating, depending on what your ulterior motives are. It's much easier to watch a porn with her (you may want to start with that first, and get her up to speed on what you expect from sex, then learn her boundaries) featuring a double penetration, then casually suggest she might enjoy the tiny vibrator up her ass while you jam on her. From there, it might not be a big stretch (pardon the pun) to trade the vibrator for an actual wang, assuming she likes the vibrator.

 

It's most important to try and get a feel for what your lady-friend is willing to do, and what she finds disgusting/degrading. No matter what your numb-fuck friends say, it's not cool to degrade women or expect them to be porn stars. That shit is not real life. If you've gotten to the point where only watching a girl piss on the floor or dribble cum into another girl's mouth can get you off, you need to seek help, my friend.

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Originally posted by Gat:Bush@Mar 31 2006, 02:36 PM

What is a good way to approach an emo girl, besides "do you like fall out boy?"

 

Emo girls should not be approached. They pretend not to like it, even though it's all they can think about. If they like Fall Out Boy, you should sue them for pain and mental anguish. I can recommend a few good lawyers in the tri-state area.

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Originally posted by Resurrection@Mar 31 2006, 02:54 PM

OG, WHY DO MY FARTS STINK?

 

Do you smoke, drink alcohol, drink caffeine?

 

Watch your diet, stinky. Eat more grains and vegetables and less fast food. Concentrate on the bottom of the food pyramid.

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