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my dream job would be to answer questions for that website and get paid.

 

let the dream begin (sort of)

 

Lately my semen temperature has risen quite dramatically. It isn't painful when I ejaculate, but the semen is burning hot. What is causing this, and should I be concerned?

- age 22, New York

 

stop jerking off in tea pots.

 

 

I sometimes find semen coming out of the end of my penis right after taking a bowel movement. Is this something to be alarmed about?

 

absolutely. what you've got is what is commonly referred to as a 'poop fetish'. very disgusting and looked down on by the diaper fetishists. you sir, are a second class citizen.

 

 

How exactly are sperm alive? Are they alive in that they have a choice to go where they choose, like tadpoles, or are they like some kind of bacteria?

 

 

your mom.

 

Two years ago I had a operation to remove a dead testicle. Will losing one testicle affect how much semen I produce? Also, my health teacher said that every normal man has one testicle filled with "female" sperm (for a girl baby) and one with "male" sperm in it (for a boy baby) — is this true?

- age 15, Australia

 

haha nigguh. you gots a dead testicle. bwahahahahah!

 

 

 

You said that semen sometimes contains traces of urine, and you also said that you can't contract any illnesses by eating your own semen. But what about the traces of urine? Won't the urine give you an illness?

 

urine actually turns mortal men into sonic the hedgehog. seriously. you fuckin' sperm eating pee drinker. what the fuck? seriously?

 

 

How long does sperm live outside of the body?

 

usually until it finishes college, but then it moves back in and mooches for awhile.

 

 

Most of the time when I masturbate, my semen smells like Clorox bleach. This just started about a month ago, and I am getting really worried.

 

wash your socks with it. see what happens.

 

 

When you ejaculate, what should you do with the semen?

- age 15, Montana

 

hide it.

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like everyone said, water. maybe even mix some cranberry juice in your flow. but drink ONLY water, and cranberry juice. lay off the beers and sodas and other juices. you might have a UTI. it's not as common for a guy to have a UTI as it is for a girl, but have you slept with any girls lately who have a UTI or are just dirty? (shame on you)

 

anyway, if you cant down cranberry juice you can always buy cranberry pills. it might be your prostate also. if the smell stays go see your doctor.

 

but for now try just drinking lots of water to flush all that stinky shit out!

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The new dogfood I bought has made my dogs piss and shit smell absolutely rank.

Granted, dog piss/shit isnt great smelling, but I mean.... he's on the end of the leash pissing in some bushes and that smell is like a cloud of death that envelops everything within a 5ft. radius.... his shit is even worse when I have to bag that stuff.

 

Alas, the bag of food was a 50 pound bag, so looks like I'll have to deal with this for a few more weeks.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by Shark Hammil@Mar 22 2006, 01:03 PM

The new dogfood I bought has made my dogs piss and shit smell absolutely rank.

 

 

Speaking of dog food, they made us eat some of this shit the other day at work (it's one of our accounts) to prove a point about the product. Shit was fucking delicious. I mean look at that plate!! It looked just like that and it tasted just as good as it looks. I had no idea dog food had gotten to this level.

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Originally posted by El Mamerro+Mar 22 2006, 01:09 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (El Mamerro - Mar 22 2006, 01:09 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-Shark Hammil@Mar 22 2006, 01:03 PM

The new dogfood I bought has made my dogs piss and shit smell absolutely rank.

 

 

Speaking of dog food, they made us eat some of this shit the other day at work (it's one of our accounts) to prove a point about the product. Shit was fucking delicious. I mean look at that plate!! It looked just like that and it tasted just as good as it looks. I had no idea dog food had gotten to this level.

[/b]

 

 

There is no way my dog is eating better than me.

Whatevers on sale at Target at 50lbs. for $16 bucks is what he eats.

This shit just happened to make his stuff smell like death.

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