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Issac Hayes (Chef) quits South Park


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Originally posted by ASER1NE@Mar 14 2006, 08:34 AM

As far as i can tell Scientology appeared out of nowhere, I still have no idea what they actually believe.

Scientology is fucking halarious. We were gonna do an L Ron Hubbard tribute gallery in hollywood last month but a few artists dropped out and plans went to shit.

 

Scientology is the name of a "religion" started by L Ron Hubbard, and based on the book "Dianetics" written by l Ron Hubbard.

 

As the Hubbard's story goes, 75 million years ago there was a galatic federation of planets ruled by the evil lord Zenu. Zenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated so he took aliens from all the planets and froze em, shipped out to Earth on Zenu's galactic cruisers that look like DC8s with rocket engines, and dumped the aliens into the volcanoes of hawaii. After the aliens died, their souls tried to fly away, but the evil lord Zenu caught the souls (which he calls "thetas" with giant soul catchers. The souls were taken to a soul brainwashing facility and for days were forced to watch brainwashing material and tricked them into believing a false reality.

 

Zenu then released the alien souls which then roamed the Earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man the souls attached themselves onto the humans.

 

This is Hubbard's explanation as to what causes mental illnesses, fears, confusion, and drug addictions. If you ever see someone with a booth for a "free stress test" it's a bunch of scientology folks trying to inform you about your body being raped by dead brainwashed alien souls.

 

You might've heard of how they measure your progress in removing the souls. The fewer you have the higher your rank (and the more you pay). They measuer it by an e-meter, which is a primitive and inaccurate polygraph machine that they claimed as a religious artifact so noone can buy or sell e-meters and show folks how they work.

 

L Ron Hubbard was fucking nuts. He was constantly in trouble with the feds for having little boys on his private boat. His wife and her pose was put away for wiretapping agents of the FBI during an investigation into the Church of Scientology.

 

Time magazine also ran an article about several members of Scientology that killed themselves over money problems.

 

Also i've heard rumors that once you join Scientology, it's not exactly a walk in the park to get out. I'm not talking contractually, I mean big men in black suits threatening the livelyhood of your family.

 

L Ron Hubbard was also quoted as saying, "The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion."

 

..sorry, I do my research before I make my paintings. I did a set of watercolors based on how L Ron views the world; him walking around hollywood in the 50's staring at a kid who skided his knee and wrapped the the ghost a tyrannasarus rex. Another of him looking depressed on a park bench, staring at the sky with a fleet of DC8's and alien souls fying around. They're fun times if anyone wants to colab and get up a gallery.

 

All in all, GREAT REASON TO END A TEN YEAR CAREER WITH ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST BRILLIANT SHOWS.

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Scientology is NOT a religion... I tend to think... they own almost everything in downtown Clearwater, Florida, kinda like that Catholic town their gonna build but in a lot more subversive and unstated way.

 

It's also important to point out that L Ron was involuntarily committed during his lifetime. He didn't much care for it. Maybe that had something to do with this 'theta' theory, or the distrust of the mental health field, or both... or neither..

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Well the whole bullshit with the galactic federation and Xenu isnt even revealed to most scientologists until they work their way up to the top of the ranks. to do that you need money because in order to move up this 'bridge' of enlightenment you got to pay some asshole to interrogate you about your life and its secret realities. they give celebrities these services as well, however for free and in much more lavish and laid back conditions in secret compounds in the desert or out in sea. scientology incorporates many aspects from eastern religious thought, most of all being karma. from what i can tell they are all nuts but i cant help thinking thats the point. people say it changes their lives, then they move up the ranks until they learn this retarded story about galactic empires and all this other nonsense that has no basis in reality. to me this says 'all religion is unnecessary, ultimately a burden, and without any kind of true direction... thanks for your money though'

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kyle: Ha! I knew it!

Stan: Knew what?

Kyle: The reason Chef has been saying those terrible things about us is because he's been brainwashed by this fruity little club!

Cartman: Aw, son of a bitch

 

Kyle: "We're all here today because Chef has been such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don't agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile...So you see, we shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."

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I like that they rip on the club in the exact way that they ripped on scientoligists.

With the little "THIS IS WHAT THE SUPER ACTION ADVENTURE CLUB ACTUALLY BELIEVES" at the bottom of the screen.

Exactly like the scientologist episode. I hope someone else caught that as well.

 

Also I liked the abuse of soundbites.

"I WANNA MAKE LOVE TO the children"

-fuse.

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No, but the people that I was watching must not have seen it or heard the news because they were really confused the whole time.

 

They kept making comments like, "Chef is talking all wierd, what's the deal?"

And they didn't laugh at all while I was cracking up the whole time about that scene.

 

 

The is the OZ, I shoulda known.

-fuse.

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