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  • 2 weeks later...

Fat chicks w/ pictures of small kids - 25

Reply to: pers-515765532@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-20, 7:51PM PST

 

 

What are you...high or what. You're looking for a hook-up and you got a picture of you with your fucking babie in your arms like that is supposed to lure us in? Goddammit, how fucking lame are you? Yeah..here's what I want; A fat,ugly, single, broke, mother of a INFANT. Now I am complete. (complete fucking moron). I would start looking for a black dude. They are the only ones who fuck your type. But, where they are smart is, they don't give a fuck about their own kids let alone yours. So they will just drop some man-batter in your neck hole so you'll have some food for your cat. Wadda ya say brothers.

 

 

 

 

* Location: welfare office

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Santa, I've been a (pretty) good girl all year... - 40

 

It is not reliable, it is not cautious, It is not sympathetic. It is unprejudiced and unmerciful. It strikes the strongest of minds. Even in the best of times, love hurts. It hurts to need, it hurts to belong, it hurts to be the other part of someone else. It also hurts worse to be alone..

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Looking fo a nice guy to take me out to a dinner and a movie or something else fun. I just got out of a long term relationship, and this is the first time I've really been able to date, so I'm just looking to enjoy myself- nothing serious. Please No cigarettes or hardcore drugs, everything else is fine by me.
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Hej,

 

Looking for a fun, nice, normal guy.

Smarts good, but not nececcary, to join me for interesting cafe conversations, live music events in the city, and nightly raccoon spying at the golf course.

 

Warning: do not allow me to cook, or you shall be dining with the firefighters as well.

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Looking for a hot granny big beautiful woman for nice loving fun, ltr at your house. I am std free, unattached, and ready for love.

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The direction we take can go anywhere, however. Wanting a girl to cuddle with, kiss, make out, and enjoy just that could also be a possibility.

A girl who can find herself attracted to a slightly overweight but very cute guy.

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I am looking for a long-term relationship. I have spent the last few years looking for something that I have not found.

It seems as though this search may last a lifetime.

I have given up on the “traditional” approach of meeting people. By traditional, I am referring to bars, clubs, etc.

 

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http://austin.craigslist.org/m4w/517047914.html

 

No lovin for 25 years. - 54

Reply to: pers-517047914@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-22, 11:12AM CST

 

 

Lookin for a good little woman. I'd be lyin if I didn't say I just got out of prison and am sweatin for date. I'm lovable and harmless.

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Weekend Crack-Smokin' Lover - 43

Reply to: pers-517250896@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-22, 3:16PM CST

 

 

Hello,

 

I'm looking for a person that smokes on the weekends and would be interested in hnging out. I dont want to hang out with extremist that live in the woods or on the curb, but someone that can handle things and may be interested in some company and closeness, emotionally and eventually physically.

 

 

 

 

* Location: Austin

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

 

PostingID: 517250896

 

 

 

Do You Consider ANAL SEX FUN OR DISGUSTING - 24

Reply to: pers-517450025@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-22, 8:13PM CST

 

 

I was a freshman in college, my ex and I explored each other sexually and we did something that general public probably considered as a taboo aex for heterosexual couples. I couldn't describe how I felt when first he entered me that way. It was awful, miserable and humiliated. But after few times, I really enjoyed it a lot, and it was a part of our sex life.

 

we broke up, and he moved away from Austin. I thought I would start new again. No wild sex, no taboo sex. However, I was wrong, I dated few guys, but they didnt satisfy me sexually because I needed my wild sex back. It was difficult for me to ask the guy who I dated to enter me from my back because I am a well educated girl, who has a great job and life. I dont want my guy to think that I am a slut.

 

Is there any guys out there who think anal is fun? Lets me know and send me your pictures with your stats. Lets begin with a cup of coffee

 

 

http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/517450025.html

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Okay I guess here it goesss.... - 26

Reply to: pers-517326749@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-22, 5:00PM CST

 

 

Hmm, I hate doing this... I would have to say that I'm past the point of acting happy with whatever comes along. I want a well endowed experienced man who is open to a regular experience not just a one night thing. After all how do you know if you can get me into bed in just one night?....maybe you can, maybe you can't but what are you gonna do if you find yourself liking it? Don't know if I'm ready for a relationship per say, but I'm not opposed to it if thats what happen... I want a well endowed and for those who aren't sure that means bigger than the average 6". I'm open to all kinds of things and would like a man who is also. Don't be afraid to live a little, better to do it now because you won't get the chance to later in life. I like bad boys who have a nice streak in them. Gotta have a job, a car, the ability to come and go as you please and do.....don't mind paying for dinner whether it's at McDonalds or Ruth Chris. If you don't want to pay then you better know how to cook I guess....LOL

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http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/517326749.html

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Fat chicks w/ pictures of small kids - 25

Reply to: pers-515765532@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-20, 7:51PM PST

 

 

What are you...high or what. You're looking for a hook-up and you got a picture of you with your fucking babie in your arms like that is supposed to lure us in? Goddammit, how fucking lame are you? Yeah..here's what I want; A fat,ugly, single, broke, mother of a INFANT. Now I am complete. (complete fucking moron). I would start looking for a black dude. They are the only ones who fuck your type. But, where they are smart is, they don't give a fuck about their own kids let alone yours. So they will just drop some man-batter in your neck hole so you'll have some food for your cat. Wadda ya say brothers.

 

* Location: welfare office

 

:lol:

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I didn't read this, and I don't really reccommend it:

 

just me!!!! - 32

Reply to: pers-517476316@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-22, 9:56PM EST

 

 

the names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial How do you eat your Reeses? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say ,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon¨ Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad.. It¦s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones .You see in my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(hes the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.Also a random thought , wouldnt it be cool if Dustin diamond(played screech powers on saved by the bell) fought emmanuel lewis( tv show Webster)on celebrity boxing , I can imagine dustin diamond getting himself pummeled by emmanuel lewis but the bell rings and ends the round, I can imagine the announcer saying something silly like,¨ looks like dustin diamond just got saved by the bell.¨ Announcer chuckles. Oh yeah I got one more stupid joke I created , its kind of not me but a creative person takes whatever he can get. Here¦s the joke,¨ what did judge judy say after screwing the jury?¨ It¦s a well-hung jury¨ stupid . Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,¨ Mr.Johnson I say,¨ heres your prescriptions¡¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that¦s because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don¦t have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that¦s feed’s you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work but I don’t have the time cause that damn organic chemistry course takes all my time up, anyways here it goes, “ I’m going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra…It’s going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,” There once was this guy who was impotent. So he went to the doctor to fix his problem. The guy says to his doctor,” Doc ‘I’m ashamed of my impotency and I don’t want people seeing me taking Viagra pills.” Doctor replies,” Don’t worry about it , we’ve got Viagra pills that look like candy, no one will suspect a thing.”Just make sure no one sees you taking the them out of the prescription bottle.”The guy then says,” No problem I’ll just hide them in my fred flinstone pez dispenser.” So the guy goes home and puts the pills in his pez dispenser. Later that night he wants to make love to his wife so he takes a pill out of his pez dispenser and with the instant excitement forgets to put the dispenser back in his pockets and leaves the pez dispenser on the kitchen counter. The next morning his son josh is in the kitchen eating breakfast and notices the pez dispenser, and says,” cool a fred flintstone dispenser.. better take this with me to school.” So at school josh’s friends proudly shows his pez dispenser to his friends, afterwards they all ask if they can have some pez candy .. so josh gives one to each of his friends and to himself, 5 minutes later all of them have pointy pants, so one of joshs friends says ,” hey buddy what the hell,what kind of candy did you give us ?” Josh replies, I dunno, but I guess you could call it hard candy!!!!! I suck but I gave it my best But what do you expect I do have a sense of humor like screech lol. Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Hey heres a real put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look,” hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. heres one last one , an elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has everhad had from his wife , so he says” So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don’t have?”.. the wife replies with a grin on her face,” For one thing hes always hard!!”.. also I don’t know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say,” theres a sucker born ever minute… on a toostsie roll pop. “if a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?”. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up?”. Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to brighten your day  okay now to the serious stuff.

 

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. i like working out ,chess, cooking,flying,reading,ufc,watching old tv shows etc. of course im always looking for new things to try, i love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

 

. Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocholate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What ive just said is charming but means nothing if I cant put it to action. I rather do than talk, here’s an example for ya ladies: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. basically he’s all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but Few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

 

Anyways I have a dog named aries a sheltie mix and 6 zebra finches (birds). Going to school to become a nutritionist , I love food and cooking(if only I had enough time to devote to it) but my major career goal is in aviation . I love flying and traveling all around the world, my mom tells me when I was baby and we were on a plane the only thing that came out of my mouth was ,¨ I want fly the plane) this was of course in Portuguese as I came to states when I was 3. I think this travelling fetish probably had to do with going to portugal every year as a kid.. My parents have a house there and every summer we would go there. My parents have tons of property there that they take care of( like picking grapes,almonds oranges, and getting the soil properly fertilized ect.) So i would help them and i made friends with other Portuguese and other kids who came from other parts of europe(france,germany,switzerland,spain,netherlands)so somehow i became fixated with travelling.

 

Anyways hoping to meet someone where we cant start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games.

 

Favorite movies: platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,lord of the flies,stand by me, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock and gremlins( all 3 movies).

 

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites;SAVED BY THE BELL( my absolute favorite)Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead, Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich , angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,knightrider,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,macgyver,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

 

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap.

 

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, alice copper.

 

 

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

 

 

Favorite movie and tv characters: Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker,ferris bueller, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown, spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow (smallville),jeff spicolli, randall (clerks)kara(smallville).

 

 

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride.

 

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up :)

Mike tysons punch out,Zelda ,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl

 

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

 

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

 

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

found this posted in the free section:

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"please see pictures..must take all and pass on what you don't want or need.

bottles of wine away, red erase, glade scented oil refills(clean linen), durag, 3 outlet adapter, soft white t10 40 watt bulb, tubular 40 watt t6.5 bulb, and a halogen 50 watt bulb for track and recessed lighting"

 

I'm picking it up tomorrow. Word.

 

 

 

 

 

also, craigslist quote of the day:

 

 

 

"I am really upset at who ever this lady is. How do I know its a lady? Well I went to the SEAHAWKS game the last home game the PLAYOFFs! Exciting day it was. Well I went to use the restroom and when I finally got in there I had to peal off the coat the gloves and the purse. Well after I used the restroom I went out to buy a hot dog and guess what? No purse so I ran into my stall that I last used and there was no purse. So who ever was behind me STOLE MY PURSE! I canceled everything so quick and enjoyed the rest of the game. WE WON! I thought for sure with all this excitment that we won that this woman would turn it in. I stayed 2 hours after the game and still no one turned it in. My purse had my drivers lisense and my two credit cards and my birth controll pills. All replaceable but it makes me so upset that someone would steal. We are adults Ladys and we shouldnt be stealing. This is ghetto and NOT lady like. Who ever this person is that stole my purse I really dislike you. I infact hate you. I had to postpone moveing into my new house because I had to get a new driver lisense and I had no access to my money because I had to close everything. Nor was I able to go to my friends bday party that was at a bar because of your sticky fingers. It is very hard to be a single mother and not have access to your money for a week. And get charged to get new stuff. This was such a nusense for my daughter and I. So what I am asking next time ladys if you see a purse please all I ask is turn it in. You are not effecting just the person you stole from but that person may have kids and need there mommys income and when I work monday through friday and going to the banks and standing in line to just get some petty cash it is stupid. I hope what you did to me comes back to you times 10. You are horriable. Just horriable. I want my week back. I am just now getting all my credit cards and license. You are a BITCH! and thats all I want to say about that. :)"

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oh also

 

 

 

 

 

 

So my soon to be ex husband said....

Reply to: pers-542384886@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-01-17, 11:52AM PST

 

 

"That at one point I was loosing weight but since my new boyfriend started fucking me in the ass (which im not sure how he knew unless he secretly broke in and installed a nanny cam in my boyfriends condo, because I never let him(husband) fuck me in the ass) I am getting fatter...So I guess my question is...Does anal sex increase the size of your ass and how is this possible???

 

Im really not that stupid but thought it funny he would make such a remark!!!"

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Hey, well I am 19 years old n im looking for that special guy who knows how to treat a woman, good sense of humor, likes to have fun every now and then. I like having a few drinks on the weekends, I dont smoke cigarettes and I am native. I have my tongue pierced and I'm not a girly girl (except for when it comes to my eyeliner and hair.) I'm all about havin a good time, and non of the drama... The only catch, is that i am in a wheelchair, but if there is a guy who doesnt mind, then we could meet up, go out for coffee or something, chat on msn...

 

 

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fat girls need love to don't they? - 24

Reply to: pers-507229609@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-12, 12:45PM PST

 

 

Don't even say it.

"Yeah, just not from me"

Honestly if you are here to fatbash, don't bother, i'll delete your email instantly. However, i'm open to intelligent responses from people :)

 

 

So i've recently come to the conclusion that there is no hope for a female who is smart, funny, outgoing, employed, BUT fat. Yes that's right. I guess what it comes down to in this society is your weight? If you don't look like a "hottie" by todays standards then good luck trying to find a guy that wants anything more than sex from you. It's strange, all these girls with the bbw ads, have any of you ever come across a guy who wanted something more than sex? Ok this is what is weird to me. How can you sleep with someone fat, like be attracted enough to them to fuck them, but not want a long term relationship with them? So it's not that bbw's aren't attractive to men... cuz even from my own personal experience i've met a lot of guys who dug my figure... but for some reason there is some sort of stigma attached to having a relationship with a bbw? Maybe i'm confused, maybe i'm not but it's what i seem to be observing more and more. Is dating a fat girl in todays society a big no no? Anyways i guess this isn't really an ad, as much as it is a rant haha. But just to be fair since i did post in this section, i'm 24, -insert awesome general adjectives here-, bbw w/ a super cute face might i add!, educated & employed. Time for a brownie. Bye.

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Fun loving girl - 33

Reply to: pers-501840990@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-12-07, 10:49AM PST

 

 

I am a genuine simple gal looking for a genuine and simple man. Someone who knows how to be "themselves" in every situation, someone looking to impress and be impress. Someone to laugh with and get out there and do all those amazing things that only two can do! No pressure, no expectations, just friends first to see where it can lead? New to town and its hard to meet people if you don't get out so! Also on verbdate/skype for chatting to see if like minded then what will be will be...

 

 

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