Craigslist

[roadpig]

Horse Shit = $2.50 a scoop. :D

 

 

*******************************

 

Aged compost - horse manure/shavings (watsonville)

 

American Sporthorse (1177 Buena Vista, Watsonville 95076) has shavings/horse exhaust compost available generally year-round, but the current dry spell makes it easier to get to the 2 piles for loading! Great for gardens, weed control, etc.

 

The compost is free - bring bags, loading items, and come take all you want. Please come during business hours. There are a few woofy dogs who patrol the grounds, so we ask you to leave your dogs in your car to avoid trouble. There is an electric gate at the drive, but during the day it opens with a simple push button next to the keypad. Come to the top of the hill and turn right and the compost piles will be evident in the field area.

 

If you would like us to load the compost into a truck or trailer (using our tractor/loader and labor), there is a fee of $2.50 per tractor scoop and we ask you come only between 2-4pm. If you have a big truck we can arrange a decreaed bulk rate for loading. Speak with Sandy, Jose or Gabriel at 831-728-5004.

[Lesbian Fisting]

smash on the blonde

[404]

I hate these Snow Apes! Go back to Europe and take your chicken!

Reply to: pers-616431159@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-03-24, 1:01AM CDT

 

 

All they want to do is eat watermelon, eat chicken, listen to rap music, and sit around all day collecting welfare checks. A president like Barack Obama will make America safe from these European apes! I wish these white people would go back where they came from, with their chicken, watermelons, and hip hop tunes! It's so un-American. I love Rush Limbaugh, if he were a little thinner I would give him some serious oral. Is he into dudes? I hope so.Seriously white people are so stupid. I put some chicken in a watermelon and put it on a fishing line. I caught three of these white apes and shipped them back to Poland where they belong. White people and their half-breed leader Al Sharpton can go back to Norway and shoot eachother with their glocks. I don't care if white people were brought to this country as slaves. Get the f&ck over yourselves, it's just slavery! Go eat a watermelon you wonderbread looking, snow apes! White people are the worst thing, they smell like monkey urine and rib grease. Go back to Sweden!

[After School Special]

Hurray snow apes!

[Lesbian Fisting]

That article would have funnier if it used stereotypical white people shit.

[Milk Grenades]

This is what i want - 27

Reply to: pers-616438995@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-03-23, 11:18PM PDT

 

 

I want to have at least 6 kids.

But want many children as the odds of haveing defective children these days are so high.

So saying.

I will not give birth to a defective child if we find out through testing it is defective. I believe in thereaputic abortion. And i wont ruin my life for an unlucky role of the genetic dice.

If this sounds interesting let me know.

I am white. Will not breed with someone who is black at all.

I consider those children abused for the fact that even if your half white, your still considered black. And i would never give birth to a mixed child. Most white men feel the same way.

 

I am blue eyed and nordic. I want children that resemble me.

[After School Special]

Get to breedin bitch.

[El Vergudo]

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/car/620097489.html

[Poesia [ ] T]

Thanks, Mr.Hipster Record Store Clerk.

Date: 2008-02-26, 5:25PM PST

 

 

Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk,

 

Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Rage Against The Machine album. Your condescension was just the intellectual wake-up call I needed.

 

I discovered a new me yesterday, and my eyes were opened in a new way. Thanks to you, I realize now that the key to enlightenment is reading Pitchfork, watching High Fidelity, listening to Velvet Underground, having a tattoo of a star on the inside of my wrist, growing an ironic mustache, living in the Mission, and wearing a too-small sweater, multi-colored 70’s ski-vest, chunky plastic-frame glasses, a high school sports T-shirt, air-tight black jeans, and Nixon-era Chuck Taylors.

 

I had it all wrong, man. You showed me that a skilled job and a comfortable living is just a lie. I need to go to art school, have my parents pay my rent, join a Joy Division-influenced band, and wait for a record deal, like you. I’m totally missing out in life.

 

So thanks again for mocking me. I mean, at first I thought you were just a pathetic, frustrated musician trying to feel better about yourself. But now I see you’re an uncompromising visionary.

 

No one will ever understand you. You’re so different.

 

Signed,

 

Everyone Not Like You

 

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/588037045.html

[Drue_Down]

Déjà vu

[booniesbomber]

lol @ hipster message.

[Tuff Tone]

hello im Nicole

 

im looking for a date this weekend i am tired of playing games,and i am looking for a real man to settle down with.

 

a must:

decent looking

body type doesent matter

careing

nice

sweet

knows how to treat a lady.

not looking for anything interracial

 

please be under 21

 

 

i love the outdoors and like going shopping and hanging out with my friends

 

please send a pic of urself

[Tuff Tone]

wow

what is this world coming to?

i never looked at craigslist until today

[Tuff Tone]

My name is Jessie.

I'm 19 years old from Eastpointe MI.

10mile&&Gratiot.

As you can see in my pics...

I have extra meat on me.

I hang out with friends, go to shows, play pool, bowling, etc.

I am 420 friendly. :)

Come smoke with me.

I also smoke ciggarettes&&drink every once in a while

I have a job, but currently do not have a car.

I graduated High School in 2007.

I'm seeking a white male between the ages of 18-25.

If you like anything, or want to know more.

Let me know.

Also.

Im not looking for sex.

But if it happens, than so be it.

[Hayabusa]

smash blondey before i get second thoughts

[the_gooch]

i would smash that shit

 

 

i thinking the exact same thing...haha.

[Drue_Down]

hello im Nicole

 

im looking for a date this weekend i am tired of playing games,

 

 

not looking for anything interracial

 

 

All ugly fat bitches call getting dumped and cheated on "playing games"

 

and nothing interracial?!?! pffft... give it a few years, she'll ingest more chocolate than Augustus Gloop.

[the_gooch]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aaa/425529349.html

 

Date: 2007-09-18, 11:30AM EDT

 

 

You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza

Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd

 

I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.

 

When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.

 

Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.

 

We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.

 

It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.

 

 

Location: The One By Jimmy-Johns

[KILZ FILLZ]

^^ haha thats great

[KILZ FILLZ]

The only thing black dudes get at the bar are Heineken, Hennessey, and Incredible Hulks.

 

No exaggeration, like 99 percent of the time.

 

i swear i have heard this before

 

from what i have seen its true

not sure about the heinies though

[awkward eye]

From "Best of Craiglist"

 

Thanks, Mr.Hipster Record Store Clerk.

 

Date: 2008-02-26, 5:25PM PST

 

Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk,

 

Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Rage Against The Machine album. Your condescension was just the intellectual wake-up call I needed.

 

I discovered a new me yesterday, and my eyes were opened in a new way. Thanks to you, I realize now that the key to enlightenment is reading Pitchfork, watching High Fidelity, listening to Velvet Underground, having a tattoo of a star on the inside of my wrist, growing an ironic mustache, living in the Mission, and wearing a too-small sweater, multi-colored 70’s ski-vest, chunky plastic-frame glasses, a high school sports T-shirt, air-tight black jeans, and Nixon-era Chuck Taylors.

 

I had it all wrong, man. You showed me that a skilled job and a comfortable living is just a lie. I need to go to art school, have my parents pay my rent, join a Joy Division-influenced band, and wait for a record deal, like you. I’m totally missing out in life.

 

So thanks again for mocking me. I mean, at first I thought you were just a pathetic, frustrated musician trying to feel better about yourself. But now I see you’re an uncompromising visionary.

 

No one will ever understand you. You’re so different.

 

Signed,

 

Everyone Not Like You

:lol:

[Brickos]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aaa/425529349.html

 

Date: 2007-09-18, 11:30AM EDT

 

 

You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza

Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd

 

I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.

 

When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.

 

Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.

 

 

We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.

 

It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.

 

 

Location: The One By Jimmy-Johns

 

 

 

Stoners, are too funny.........

[ClueTwo]

Sun dried tomatoes and anchovies?? What the fuck??

[Milk Grenades]

To the guy that punched me in the face on 3/9 (Reno - Clear Acre and McCarren)

Reply to: pers-633093957@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-04-06, 11:20PM PDT

 

 

This is to the guy who punched me in the face at the stoplight of the Clear Acre and McCarren intersection on 3/9 around 8:10pm.

 

Yeah you had the wrong person man.

 

I did not cut you off.

 

And even if I did, I really don't think you chose the right way to solve the problem.

 

First off, you weren't driving, your fat mexican friend was. (Nice car by the way, I bet you are proud to be seen in a 1989 Honda with fading gold paint)

 

So you came up to my window and scared the shit out of me by pounding on the window and told me to roll it down.

 

You seemed like you were pretty mad, that's why I drove off through 3 stoplights to get the fuck away from you.

 

But no, don't stop following me, you gotta teach me a life lesson right?

 

Of course you do.

 

So you came up to my truck and tried to pull my window down when I asked what the hell you wanted, it's too bad I hadn't thought of locking my door in the heat of the moment, I would've been able to go home and make a nice dinner.

 

So after your rant about how I am a danger to you, and how you have children, and that I put other people lives in danger, you punched me in the face.

 

I apologized, I said it was accident but you still punched me.

 

But thanks, I now know what it feels like to be punched in the face.

 

Oh and you made a really well thought out comment about my cell phone, "Yeah hold up your cell phone so mommy can hear this" yeah dude, i was calling 911, not my mom.

 

So then you tried to take my cell phone, maybe you just wanted to go further and make it assault and burglary. But it's a good thing you didn't notice when I put my truck in gear and slammed on the gas. Good attempt at trying to grab me, but you weren't fast enough. Drugs make you slow.

 

Pretty much you are a genuine douche bag.

 

You are the reason why so many people hate reno.

 

A college student just going to the grocery store shouldn't be punched in the face for an accidental maneuver on the road.

 

But, you know what, maybe I should be thanking you.

 

I mean now I am prepared for insane people in reno like you.

 

Now instead of making yourself feel better by taking physical action on me, you can feel 800,000 volts of electricity flowing through your body, some pepper spray and tear gas mix in your face, and I might accidentally run over your head if I feel like it.

 

Anyways, thanks for a valuable lesson in being prepared for people who need to go to anger management, but have to pay child support with their social security income and cannot afford it.

 

I'll see ya around town.

 

Don't forget...

 

Karma is a bitch.

[count chocula]

Awsome.

 

On weekends I like to pick up several "day laborers" and take them to inactive construction sites WAYYYY out in the middle of nowhere, and tell them to clean up etc. while I go get more guys. I then go have lunch and maybe for a bike ride.

 

I wonder how they get home?

 

Having an unidentifiable white pickup has it's benefits....

 

----------

 

Asian people always have this look like an undeveloped fetus.

 

Latin people look like fully developed people.

 

Tell me you've never thought the same.

 

[MisterSenor]

fucking weird.........

[Tuff Tone]

Blonde Bomb Shell! - 21

I am 21 year old female, i work at Tj Maxx. Im a full time College Student and love to have fun. Im looking for someone to have fun with, spend time with also. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and 6ft tall. I love movies and walks and talks.

[XJONATHONX]

hahahahahahahaha

[ClueTwo]

Reply to: sale-633912285@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-04-07, 2:35PM MST

 

 

Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shiht-Lady:

 

I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to.

 

Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following:

 

1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope.

The

ad said I was giving away a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I offering a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap 89 ford pinto with no hub caps car don't get marked up.

 

2. What part of ' must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East BumbleFuck on the hottest day of the year thus far. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.

 

3. Please call me only once with ALL your questions. I left for the day, and had 5 messages on my answering machine, the last one was at 11:30 pm.

Frankly lady, you were sounding a bit too crazy by the end of the day.

It's

a fridge. A small metal box that keeps shit cold. I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch. I don't know the exact age of the fridge. I bought it a few years ago, I used it for a couple of months, ok, I lied, I used it a whole year. The fact is, you're not buying a race horse, you're buying a used fridge.

 

4. No, I will not throw in a couple bucks of gas money to pick it up because your anal retentive eyes picked up the ittiest, bittiest hairline scratch with a microscope so it wasnt completly described. I'm not making judgements on you, but I'm pretty damn sure Donald Trump didn't send you across the state to pick up a used fridge for Trump Towers. Though I'd wager the whole concept of the mini-fridge bar is a familar one to you.

 

5. Yes, you can unplug a fridge without any harm to the fridge. Believe me, the fridge is fine. The manufacturers have figured out a way to extend the life of a fridge that has been unplugged. Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that.

No, you did not have to leave 2 messages about your concerns with the fridge being unplugged, and frankly it was a little embarrassing having the same conversation with you in my driveway where my neighbors could hear.

 

6. No, I don't have the operating instructions. I can write them down for you though: Plug fridge in. Open door. Put crap inside. Take crap out when it's cold. Eat or drink crap.

 

7. I am not a fridge pimp. I don't have any more fridges at that price.No i dont have one in a diffrent color to match your other appliances, No, I don't know where you can get another fridge just like this one for your friend. Yes, I know it's in great condition, and I'm sure you'd like your other crazy-as-bat-shit-mini-fridge-finding-friends to have one just like it, but this is all I have. Here's a thought, there's this online classified ads website. Yeah, you may have heard of it, it's called CRAIGSLIST. I dunno, maybe, just maybe, in this great land of ours, there's another mini-fridge being advertised there.

 

 

Yours truly,

 

the family that gave you the fridge

[Tuff Tone]

dance like nobody's watching randy - 28 (dearborn)

 

and love like you've never been hurt.

whoah.

 

 

oh shit i just found this gut