I.C.Shadow Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If any of you nerds have seen this before, no one is impressed by you saying "old" or "seen it before". Promise. Enjoy =) :king: bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? ------------------- bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. -------------- BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay. Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Sarah19fca: you like that? Bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Sarah19fca: Peanuts? Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway. Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. --------------- Bloodninja:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate:Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! Bloodninja:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja:How did you know? Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the f**k? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate:F**k ------------------ Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables? Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****? MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that. Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) MommyMelissa: is that it? Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily. Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains. MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT. MommyMelissa: ... Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here. Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. MommyMelissa: whatever. ------------------ Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women... J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipshit. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr. ------------------ J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet. Partner8: Who the fuck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. Towards your room. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku" J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then? Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. J-Dogg: ... Partner8: ? J-Dogg: I'm spent. ------------------ Jdogg:Hey QT-Pie:Hey Jdogg:whats goin on QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you? Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber? QT-Pie:what does that mean? Jdogg:what are you wearing? QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans. Jdogg:Garter belt? QT-Pie:Ummm...no. Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not? QT-Pie: uh, okay. Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this. Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here. QT-Pie: WHAT?! Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan. Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg. Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play. QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go. Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back. QT-Pie: A stripe? Jdogg: I need a sandwich. QT-Pie: You're a freak. Jdogg: I was great. You loved it. ------------------ Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! 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trackstand Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If you think anybody is going to waste their time reading any of that, let alone all of it, you're nuts. trackstand/no lame threads in the zero for '06! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.C.Shadow Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 They are like short stories, you dont need to read them all. Words are your friend. I read books even. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 i read these, they were pretty gay they werent even funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beardofzeus Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Link 2003 The search button can be our friend as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Its actually a funny read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isor357 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 That shit funny. I only read the top 4. Shits great. Good post....made me laugh. needed that. good look Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tough Love Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 this is almost as old as a 90 yr old granny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 OLD, nah even though i've seen that shit it still makes me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knkr Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 i cryed. lolerskate to the roflcopter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STRAIGHT PUKE BRAH Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 WELCOME TO A MILLION YEARS AGO BUT THAT SHIT IS STILL MAD FUNNY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 the rhino one was awesome. i'd never seen these before, and i've been on 12oz for a minute, soooooo i got your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Some of these I ain't seen. Shit is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isor357 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 never seen it either. Bloodninja rhino hot nickle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ctrl+alt+del Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 yeah i remember laughing at that shit when intangible fame posted it a couple of years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_grim540 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 shits funny, I only seen the first one in the geek threads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1988 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 That pirate one was a good laugh... HAARRRRRR!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merk or be merked Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Originally posted by trackstand@Jan 29 2006, 10:16 PM If you think anybody is going to waste their time reading any of that, let alone all of it, you're nuts. trackstand/no lame threads in the zero for '06! Quoted post hahahah that shit was funny as hell what are you talking about *slips on wizardhat* :king: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 too long for me to read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mississippi Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.C.Shadow Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 From the old thread... Originally posted by Jackson@May 8 2003, 02:26 PM yea those are fucking hilarious... This is the funnyest tho from fugly.com: Sometimes we even impress ourselves with our detective work. It's amazing how much information you can find out about someone over the Internet. It helps when the person you're researching has a "Hi We're the ******** " family page on Geocities. It helps even more when the Father is dumb enough to use a picture located right on that same family site on his own private profile. The same one he uses late at night, while his wife is asleep, to try to pick up girls on the internet. It helps even more when he's a little bit stupid. This is a good one� Evil_Sarah is of course one of us here at Fugly. The not-so innocent victim in all of this is macktrucker2000 Here's what happened... MackTrucker2000: Hey there sexy. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Do I know you? MackTrucker2000: Not yet but you should want to. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Really? MackTrucker2000: Yah MackTrucker2000: Let's chat. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: About what? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: What do you want to chat about? MackTrucker2000: Let's talk about you MackTrucker2000: what are you wearing right now sugar? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Hold on for a minute. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: ok? MackTrucker2000: k MackTrucker2000: What are you doing MackTrucker2000: heloo. U still there? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm back. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: So what were we talking about? MackTrucker2000: you were going to tell me what you were wearing. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Not much. I'm just getting ready for bed. MackTrucker2000: mmmmmmm. I like that. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm over at my friend's house. MackTrucker2000: Tell me. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Tell you what? MackTrucker2000: tell me what you have on Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No. You tell me what you have on. MackTrucker2000: I'm wearing a pair of jeans and that's all. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Gross. Is your big fat stomach hanging over them? MackTrucker2000: No sugar. Im very good shape. Work out every day. MackTrucker2000: have six pack. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Lol. Me and my friend Laura are drinking a six pack right now! MackTrucker2000: I like that. Come on baby tell me Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok. I have on a pair of underwear, and Laura's Superman t-shirt. MackTrucker2000: Is that all? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Yep. MackTrucker2000: Is the t-shirt tight? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Yeah. It's skin tight. MackTrucker2000: no bra? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Nope. I never sleep in a bra. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's too constricting. MackTrucker2000: mmmmm. I like that. MackTrucker2000: tell me more Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You like to wear a bra to sleep? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: That's weird. MackTrucker2000: lmfao. No i like that you don't wear one. MackTrucker2000: I want to slide my hand up your shirt. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Really? MackTrucker2000: mmmmmm.. yeah. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Well maybe we should get to know each other a little bit better first. MackTrucker2000: what for. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: What's your name? MackTrucker2000: Chuck Evil_Sarah_Bitch: My name is Sarah MackTrucker2000: Hahah. Yeah that's what I figured MackTrucker2000: so do you like to suck cock sarah Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Wow. You really like to get right to it don't you? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: What's your last name, Chuck? MackTrucker2000: Why do you want it Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm just trying to get to know you, that's all MackTrucker2000: Well I don't want to know you that well. MackTrucker2000: I just want to have a good time Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok. Sorry. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I didn't mean to freak you out. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Where are you from? MackTrucker2000: MD Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Really? Me too! MackTrucker2000: No your not your from San Diego. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: How do you know that? MackTrucker2000: cause it says it on your profile page Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No, I just put that there to throw people off. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You really have to be careful who you talk to on these things. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I really live in Maryland and I'm really only 18. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I still live at home with my Mom and Dad. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Where in Maryland are you? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm in Baltimore. MackTrucker2000: Im in Manchester Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No way! Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Get out of here! Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live in Manchester too! Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I didn't want to say Manchester because I didn't think you would know where it is. MackTrucker2000: Don't lie, sugar. Lets fuck Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Seriously! I'm not lying. MackTrucker2000: Ok lets talk about my big cock in your mouth Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Wait a second. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Let's talk more about you. MackTrucker2000: don't want to talk about me Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Gosh, you're so secretive. MackTrucker2000: take your panties off sugar. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: But first you have to tell me where in Manchester you live. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Come on. I'll tell you.Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Maybe we already know each other. MackTrucker2000: doubt it. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You're so funny Evil_Sarah_Bitch: My Dad calls me sugar all the time. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live right near Grace Bible church. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Do you have a picture that I can see? MackTrucker2000: check my profile Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Oh. Ok. Hold on. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: OMG. Dad, this is Chrissy. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's me, Chrissy. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Your daughter? Duhhh. Hello? MackTrucker2000: shut up whore. I don't have any daughters. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I'm serious. This is really Chrissy. MackTrucker2000: whats your last name then Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's Bolchezk, same as yours. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Evil_Sarah is just my made up name online, Dad. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm over here at Laura's house. remember? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Spending the night? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Hello? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, are you there? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You're disgusting. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I hate you. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm going to tell Mom about this. MackTrucker2000: quit trying to mess with me Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I'm not kidding. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's Chrissy. Our phone number is 410-374-****! Evil_Sarah_Bitch: We live at **** Charmil Drive, right by Grace Bible Church. Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad? Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Answer me. MackTrucker2000: <<has logged out>> *edit activated link Quoted post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neskoner Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 the old thread had some really funny ones,this one sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_write Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 lmfaoo the last one got me cracking up lik ea motherfucker .. i was almost in tears aahha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ODS-1 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I can't beleive somebody said "Come on, be serious" when they were having cyber sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobsilla Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 those were all pretty lame except i thought the rino one was funny for some reason. edited for merk :chicken: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merk or be merked Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women... J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipshit. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr." that was the only "gay" one...use a different adjetive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the shitz Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 WTF? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el hamburgler Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 funniest shit ive ever read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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