Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
I.C.Shadow

The Turnpike Prank

Recommended Posts

This fool had me crying :haha:

 

http://www.zug.com/pranks/turnpike/

 

title.gif

 

The Massachusetts Turnpike, our main highway leading through Boston, is a toll road. Riding it end to end costs you $5.60; commuting into the city from the suburbs costs $2.00, or more, each way. All those tolls really add up -- the average commuter spends $1000.00 per year on tolls -- but it's either that or keep our massive highway construction projects under budget.

 

Recently, while giving away yet another $1.00 of my hard-earned money for the privilege of driving into town, I wondered: how flexible are they about the tolls? So I decided to undertake a series of experiments.

 

070403_masspike_lanes.jpg

 

1) You can drive through the "Fast Lane," which is a computerized system that detects a small device that you keep on your windshield, while pelting your car with gamma rays and slowly giving you cancer of the prostate. All Fast Lanes require that you slow your car to 15 mph, and some make you stop completely, giving new meaning to the word "Fast."

 

2) You can pay cash to the friendly toll booth operator, who will give you change, and, if you're lucky, a surly grunt.

 

3) If you have exact change, you can use the "baskets," which are big scoop-shaped buckets into which you throw your money. The money slides down a chute, where it is then processed by either highly efficient money-sorting machinery, or financially astute elves. It's a mystery.

 

 

070403_masspike_basket.jpg

 

Experiment #1. First, I went through one of the $1.00 toll gates, but I only threw in 97 cents. Believe it or not, I was nervous as I drove away -- would the Turnpike Police pull me over and make me fill potholes with gravel and hot tar until I paid off my debt? Would angry Dobermans chase me down the highway, chomping at my tires?

 

 

070403_masspike_7.jpg

 

070403_masspike_throw.jpg

 

Nothing happened.

 

 

Experiment #2. Emboldened, the next time I went through the toll booth, I decided to try throwing in just seven cents.

 

070403_masspike_97.jpg

 

Nothing happened.

 

 

Experiment #3. The next time I went through, I decided to just write them an I.O.U., and tape it to the toll booth. I signed it "Mariah Carey," because I figured she can afford the extra dollar.

 

070403_masspike_iou1.jpg

 

070403_masspike_iou2.jpg

 

Nothing happened.

 

This is great! I thought. All these years, I've been paying tolls, and it turns out they're optional! What other creative payment options could I use to pay my tolls on the Massachusetts Turnpike?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In days of yore, a traveling journeyman would have to pay off a wizened troll before he could cross a precarious bridge slung over a yawning gorge. "THREE GOLD COINS!" the troll would yell, flecks of saliva and goat meat dripping from his beard. Our modern-day equivalent is the Massachusetts Turnpike, where the trolls have now been replaced by automated toll-collecting baskets -- although you can see from the picture at right that their hygiene hasn't improved.

 

070903_masspike_basket.jpg

 

Experiment #4. This time, instead of throwing in $1.00, I decided to tape two pictures of rap superstar 50 Cent, because that adds up to a dollar:

 

070803_masspike_50cent.jpg

 

070803_masspike_50cent2.jpg

 

As I drove away, I kept nervously glancing in my rear view mirror for the Toll Booth Police, or 50 Cent's posse, but the sad truth is that nothing happened.

 

 

Experiment #5. For my next experiment, I made sure to check the toll booth sign, which reads "$1.00 COINS ONLY NO BILLS PENNIES OR CANADIAN COINS." (With all that toll money, you'd think they could afford some punctuation.) Fortunately, the sign makes no mention of other foreign coins, which is the loophole I used for my next experiment. I consulted an online currency calculator to get up-to-the-minute exchange rates, then tossed in the following coins:

 

1 Indian Rupee ($0.02 U.S.)

15 Thai Baht ($0.36 U.S.)

11 Singapore cents ($0.06 U.S.)

1 Finnish Marka and 200 Italian Lira (no longer used, since the Euro came to town)

 

That only added up to 44 cents, so I threw in a couple of Chuck E. Cheese tokens as well.

 

070803_masspike_tollsign.jpg

 

070803_masspike_foreign.jpg

 

When I went through this time, I heard the toll booth operator shout something that sounded like, "WALP!" I had been trying my little experiments at the same toll booth, so maybe he recognized my car, or maybe he was choking on a thick slice of ham. I didn't stick around to find out -- I got the WALP out of there.

 

 

Experiment #6. In olden days, one could directly barter goods and services without the aid of money. So I bought a couple of oranges from a local convenience store, which cost me about a dollar.

 

070803_masspike_oranges1.jpg

 

In my next run through the Mass Pike toll booths, I threw in the oranges.

 

070803_masspike_oranges2.jpg

 

They sat in the bucket, where I assume they remained until a Fruit Collection Officer came by to pick them up. I'm sure he enjoyed their plump, juicy wedges -- after he removed the thick, encrusted peels that had been defiled by thousands of nasty-ass coins.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What do we, the citizens of Boston, get in return for our massive toll fees? For starters, a highway that is immaculately maintained:

 

070903_masspike_tollsign.jpg

 

And the satisfaction of sharing the road with other friendly motorists:

 

070903_masspike_bird.jpg

 

 

Since none of my experiments had any effect on the automated change buckets, which cheerfully allowed me to pass, I concluded that the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority was the most laid-back government agency ever -- even more than the Department of Motor Vehicles, where most employees spend 92% of their workday in a deep, restful slumber.

 

I felt that if I was going to leave an I.O.U. for a one-dollar toll, however, I should pay up. So I snail-mailed the following letter to the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority:

 

071003_letter_mta.gif

 

I thought it would be interesting to see whether or not the check would get cashed. It should settle, once and for all, how relaxed they were about paying the tolls.

 

And, hey, while I was sending out letters:

 

071003_letter_carey.gif

 

My prediction was that the Turnpike check would get mired in bureaucracy and never get cashed, while Mariah's agents would greedily deposit hers immediately, since they get 15%.

 

A few weeks after sending out the checks, I got my bank statement in the mail, and would you believe the Turnpike Authority actually cashed my check? I knew our highway construction projects were way overbudget, but, I mean, a dollar seventeen?!

 

082803_turnpikecheck01.gif

 

082803_turnpikecheck02.gif

 

Still no word from the Mariah Carey camp.

 

So I guess we've all learned a valuable lesson here: if you need to steal, don't steal from an impoverished, badly-managed government agency. Steal from Mariah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest MR BOJANGLES

I always had a feeling you could get away with that! Knowing is half the battle...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest MR BOJANGLES

Oh my god! The oranges are hilarious. Good shit bro-bro.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Part three got posted late, I had to download Firefox in the middle of it becuase Safari has such a hard time with this site for some reason... Enjoy! :king:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

fools are LAX in boston for real foreal..back here in teh A, they got cops posted up at the toll 80% of the time..just waiting..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You just showed your real name to anybody that was wondering. I hope the pigs in Boston aren't building a case on you for graff. <---Or toll evasion. :haha:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i read this and it was pretty funny, then at the bottom of each of them it recommends another prank to read, and i got all wrapped up and read like 8 of them. they are all pretty good. i like the "all natural" one. and the credit card prank 1+2 were funny

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah I read this fast and thought it was you, then noticed the checks were Fleet Bank, which was bought out a few years ago and the checks were dated 2003...

 

 

I'm from the north shore, buts I hardly ever paid the Turnpike tolls when I'm on it. Nor the ones on 95 in NH...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish they had those booths in the Bay Area CA, or hell even $1.00 tools... Good post regardless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try that shit in chicagoland and you'll get a picture of yourself mailed to your ass along with a ticket.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×