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Gunm

My Big Mouth

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Another installation of.....

 

TRUE TALES OF THE OFFICE!

 

So yesterday i noticed this guy in HR had developed a monstrous cold sore on the corner of his mouth.Weeping, crusty....nasty. Like, big enough so that i'd shun social contact if I had it.

 

In any event, I am at my friends cubicle and he walks by. I turn and whisper "Holy shit, do you see that sore homie has? yarrgghh!" My friend duly notes this and nods his head in agreement.

 

Now, i had thought sore-man had taken off but in reality he was loading paper into the printer on the other side of my friends cubicle. At this point, being oblivious to the guys presence I say in a much louder voice:

 

"Yeah, that sore is hard core. I had a real small cold sore like that once....holy shit, I kept a low pro fordays until it went away. Ugly as fuck dude."

 

Then we both notice dude stand up and walk away......oops oops oops...damnit

 

So now this guy with the sore won't even say hello. I think he probably went home and cried himself to sleep or something.

 

edit: speeeeling errors

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Guest Sparoism

YOUUU PULLLED HIS CAAAARD...NEENER, NEENER, NEEN-ERRRRRRRR.

 

Man, I'd HATE to work with you....y'all would eat my lunch and insult my women...then post it here. DAAAA-YUM.

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The guy whose milk i stole....he got a fresh bottle and put it in the fridge and put all kinds of bullshit "hands off!!!!" labels on it.

 

So, what i wanna do is take the container of chocolate syrup that's in the fridge too, pour it into his precious milk and transform it into..CHOCOLATE MILK. Imagine how fucking furious dude would be when he went to enjoy his morning bowl of cereal and suddenly he's stuck with something only Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes could enjoy...ha ha ha ha

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ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO I WAS ON ACID, STONED, AND DRINKING

WHEN HOMIES GIRL GIVES ME THE PHONE. GUY ON PHONE MENTIONS

SOMETHING ABOUT STU, A (HUGE, AND SCARY) DRUGDEALER.

IM ALL STU IS A FUCKING FAGGOT, I HATE THAT UGLY PIECE OF SHIT.

 

IT WAS STU ON THE PHONE.

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Originally posted by onesecondple@Dec 14 2005, 11:21 PM

LENS AINT A MOD, there i lowered your self esteem

 

No, i am a robot secretly controlled by raven to test the MODS patience.

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Originally posted by LENS@Dec 14 2005, 11:21 PM

The guy whose milk i stole....he got a fresh bottle and put it in the fridge and put all kinds of bullshit "hands off!!!!" labels on it.

 

So, what i wanna do is take the container of chocolate syrup that's in the fridge too, pour it into his precious fucking milk and transform it into..CHOCOLATE MILK. Imagine how fucking furious dude would be when he went to enjoy his morning bowl of cereal and suddenly he's stuck with something only Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes could enjoy...ha ha ha ha

 

PRICELESS. YOU SHOULD BE DOCUMENTING ALL OF THIS

WITH A DIGI CAM.

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Originally posted by LENS+Dec 14 2005, 06:22 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LENS - Dec 14 2005, 06:22 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-onesecondple@Dec 14 2005, 11:21 PM

LENS AINT A MOD, there i lowered your self esteem

 

No, i am a robot secretly controlled by raven to test the MODS patience.

[/b]

 

 

hahahha, finally a good retort.

 

 

AND THAT GUY EVEN HAS FUCKED UP TEEFS, damn

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Hatebreeder.....the chocolate milk will have to wait a while....I have attracted some suspicion lately so i need to keep it on the backburner but rest assured it'll happen and when it does...12oz has a front row seat.

 

And the sore is on the left hand side of his mouth...very nasty.

 

you don't even wanna be upwind of the guy

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see, lens can talk crazy shit like that, yall dudes dont have any idea how many niggas this guy rolls with...

 

wonk saggin.

 

;)

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if i knew where lens worked id start sneaking hints of his asian fetish all over the office.

 

 

japanese schoolgirl pics in the refridgerator

 

an asian centerfold, with the words "I KNOW YOU WANT ME" written, hanged by the water cooler.

 

and other ideas i havent thought of.

 

lens youre fucking mine, i am here to protect the innocent from your sophmoric humor.

 

REPENT!

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i started working for a company again that fired me 2 years ago.But alot has changed since then and they love me know.its a traveling job.and whenever i go to diffrent stores with my boss.he always seem to pop up as soon as i started tellin people about my job and how much of a chill ass boss i got.and hell just give me this look.its not like i am talking shit though.

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Originally posted by CACashRefund@Dec 15 2005, 12:01 AM

if i knew where lens worked id start sneaking hints of his asian fetish all over the office.

 

 

japanese schoolgirl pics in the refridgerator

 

an asian centerfold, with the words "I KNOW YOU WANT ME" written, hanged by the water cooler.

 

and other ideas i havent thought of.

 

lens youre fucking mine, i am here to protect the innocent from your sophmoric humor.

 

REPENT!

 

No, you'd probably just help my stress level during the day. Stuff like that would puzzle others, confuse some but give me satiusfaction thanks.

 

You won't stop me mr. cash....there will be more office terror threads like this one. I am the Al Queda of (Blank) (BLANK) Management Inc!

 

HA HA HA

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Just like when I asked Lens to hold my beer and he drunk it all. He said he set it down and the bartender threw it out... Foker...You gotta watch this guy close.

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^^^

 

ha ha ha

 

i can't believe you're still bitter about that 88'

 

Is there a cabin trip this year?

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This chick at my old work came into the break room and she had gotten some form of serious infection that turned her lips BLACK,I gagged like fully almost puked when she came in.I felt so bad for her,but seriously if it's bad enough to make me gag then stay home slut bag and stop licking the urnal.

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