deterrent Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Racked my balls four times today. Today starts nice, I wake up at 11:30, wash the sticky off myself, eat some cucumber slices with salt and saracha, and get out on my bike to flick the action of the past several days. I come across my first wall of the day, while taking a gander my front wheel hits a rather large rock jaring my handle bars square in my nuts, I sit for a second and take my flicks, I go to leave and I hit the very same rock again sending it to the exact same spot of my nuts. As I go down the street (again I'm not paying attention) my tire hit an 1" wide by 12" high pole sticking out of the ground rendering my bike motionless but sending my body foward and my nuts to the hadlebars. FUCK... this one hurt bad. I sit down my girl calls and ten minutes after getting off the phone I attempt to hop my bike up an 18" curb... this final one did it, I was on the ground at cicero and lake (not the greatest spot) with my hand down my pants checking if a both boys were present. This was 6hours ago, my nuts feel like I need to cum real bad and they're super sore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neskoner Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 damn that sucks deter..hopefully you recover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 I actually laughed at the ridiculous improbability of this but that is really terrible. Some days it's better to just not leave the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 I haven't injured my nuts in a long time. We have these swinging doors on low cabinets at work that have a sharp corner right at nut level on most people. Somebody gets their balls destroyed on those things every day. On another note, I was on call tonight fixing this Korean girl's laptop and I kept thinking she was going to pull out an octopus and do something with it. That's what I get for watching Oldboy at 4:00 in the morning and watching other octopus related videos earlier in the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Dude, you've gotta be careful with those things... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fermentor666 Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 The only course of action is castration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 ***Sorry for the long post, but it's worth it. Yeah, I don't think I've hurt my nuts in about 14 years. I was really kind of into freestyle-biking. I was riding a wheely and attempted to spin the handlebars. I tried to better center myself which intailed of me standing up more... I ended up crawling on hands and knees home and left my bike there for my father to fetch it. On a semi-side note between the nut-related injuries and the amount of drugs I did in my youth I wounder if I could lose the possablity of having my own children. On another semi side note, inwhich brings this story full circle. The from of birthcontrol called "the ring" is killer. I never have heard of it before yesterday but it works like the pill... you can cum inside and everything... unforunatly I came first and lost the erection so maybe this whole nut thing is karmatic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Before you cum, you see the ring. That should be their slogan. Link? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tough Love Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 what works sometimes if ur sacked (depending on the type of sackage) is jumping up really high and landing hard on just ur heals. If your nuts hurt, this will make them stop hurting, unless u were just hit in the nuts and u dont have that pain in the stomach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 The fucking ring son peep it, it's magic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Thanks Deterrent. That shit sounds ill indeed... I'm gonna try to get my girl on it post-haste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 at least your getting some puss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 The ring definitely works on pregnancy, but it still isn't going to help if she goes out and gets the clap on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 damn biggus you got a lot of posts quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Originally posted by Biggus Dickus@Oct 9 2005, 09:49 PM The ring definitely works on pregnancy, but it still isn't going to help if she goes out and gets the clap on you. Quoted post If that happens, you need to choke the bitch out. Plus theres a cure for that anyways. 3>cum inside Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF1 Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 I was mad fucked up and playing pool at the bar one time and I went to break and I accidentally jumped the ball and nailed my homie in the nuts. Not once but twice in a row. But your story takes the cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defyoner Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 i think Aids Is A Myth could help you out on this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Originally posted by deterrent@Oct 10 2005, 10:22 AM Racked my balls four times today. Today starts nice, I wake up at 11:30, wash the sticky off myself, eat some cucumber slices with salt and saracha, and get out on my bike to flick the action of the past several days. I come across my first wall of the day, while taking a gander my front wheel hits a rather large rock jaring my handle bars square in my nuts, I sit for a second and take my flicks, I go to leave and I hit the very same rock again sending it to the exact same spot of my nuts. As I go down the street (again I'm not paying attention) my tire hit an 1" wide by 12" high pole sticking out of the ground rendering my bike motionless but sending my body foward and my nuts to the hadlebars. FUCK... this one hurt bad. I sit down my girl calls and ten minutes after getting off the phone I attempt to hop my bike up an 18" curb... this final one did it, I was on the ground at cicero and lake (not the greatest spot) with my hand down my pants checking if a both boys were present. This was 6hours ago, my nuts feel like I need to cum real bad and they're super sore. Quoted post you are so dumb... That shit sounds like it should be funniest home video's or some shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aids is a myth Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Originally posted by defyoner@Oct 10 2005, 01:29 AM i think Aids Is A Myth could help you out on this situation. Quoted post nigga don't front you're the one with the toucher beard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aids is a myth Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 deter, i know about 5 girls that will be at ginbucks tomorrow night who would be more than happy to sooth your blueballs on their triple chinned jawline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 haha fuckin awesome, sounds like you need to learn to bunny hop better. [no homo] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimbo slice Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 you not gonna have kids youll be shooting duds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 I'm sitting proper and feeling grrrrrrrrreat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloner Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 ive seen many a kid bust their nuts [no homo] sacking rails. took a few of em to the hospital too. when i was in 6th grade, this girl kicked my friend in the nuts and broke his left testicle. everynight at work, i walk into these rollers carrying a box and smashing my balls AND shaft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suicide Bomber Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Ive got a good hurting your nuts story. Okay long time ago in juniour high this kid gets the idea to climb the backstop of our baseball field. now keap in mind this backstop is super old and shitty. Now he gets the the very top slips and catches his actuall sack on a piece of metal sticking out. falls like 20 feet to the ground and is perfectly fine, except his sack. it was actually ripped open liek testicalls hanging out blood everywhere. the kid runs to the office and then they rush him to the hosipital. he gets all stitched up and in a week he attempted it again. this time he just fell off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ODS-1 Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Damn man. what a dumbass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dead sentiment Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 this made me laugh, a lot. sorry about your balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Wear a cup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 That reminds me of the time when this guy who lived down the road, was trying to drunkenly balance on a fencetop (the old capping on asbestos type) and then slipped and took a big chuck of his nuts out. We then saw him get carted to hospital and they were hosing the chunk off the fence. Too fucken funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defyoner Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Originally posted by aids is a myth+Oct 10 2005, 12:21 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (aids is a myth - Oct 10 2005, 12:21 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-defyoner@Oct 10 2005, 01:29 AM i think Aids Is A Myth could help you out on this situation. Quoted post nigga don't front you're the one with the toucher beard Quoted post [/b] yo son just because your jelous of my beard and shit.. dont mean nothin.. what happend to the good times.. when we would hold hands on roadtrips? and share gatorade in the train yards? i miss that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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