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Skag Henry

NICKED

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it all began on a bombing mission through town and up towards the leafy suburbs...

shitfaced we staggered between walls doing throwups tags and general sport what what.

As we passed an abandoned pig depot my mate..well lets call him dick head for the sake of law, said "hey skag boy, do a tag on the piggy hut" naturally I couldnt help myself, two huge burner chrome tags suddenly appeared out of the cap as per usual...

we then traveled up the ghetto road towards white middle class freedom passing crackheads and social misfits...

The second major stop was the bus depot, lined with cameras we were going to chance climbing in and begin wrecking havoc, luckily my other half sober friend, lets call him gracy said "skag boy, dat aint a good idea bruv, dem tings in yard getssss bruk up wit dem cameras seeen"...

yeah i couldnt understand a word that ethnic was saying ether!

so we decided to focus our efforts on the bus shelter outside completely covering it in cheap carpaint...

it was a beautiful site my 12oz homies...

we then moved swiftly up the road, ever heading closer to the leafy suburbs some of us call home...

 

then the magic happened, the cavalry appeared in the form of tooled up bacon in two cars...

"your under arrest" and I thought to myself...shit this is the end skag boy the end of your graffiti carear...

I was cuffed and taken to the real pig depot downtown where I was read my rights and stuck in a cell with tags wrote with shit on the walls, one old bucket for shitting in and a cold hard bed, where were the free towels and prozzers?????

....to be continued...

in the next part, skag boy meets the fattest woman in the world and feels like tupac...

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Let me guess. You're under 18 anyway and face no real chance of getting in trouble for this just like everyone else who posts this story, right?

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Originally posted by casekonly@Oct 8 2005, 05:36 AM

i bet your mom likes it in the pooper.

yeah she does actually, by well hung jamaicans.

 

oh yeah and its my first graffiti related offense....

 

anyway to continue!

I sat there in probably the coldest room on earth listening to the sound of officers squeeking boots and prostitutes smacking the doors shouting shit like "OI I NEED MY FIX CUNT", I started to sing to myself "im locked up they wont let me out" and I was informed that I couldnt have an interview with the "sarge" until I was sober...which meant a possibility of 7 hours of waiting where I started to sing that lovely number outloud and banging on the walls.

A few hours later a short woman with small whisps of mustach hair above her thin brown lips informed me that id be having my interview in an hour and gave me a cup of tea, which I spilt on the floor then moped up the grime with tissue paper and started writing the usual "fook piglets" shit on the walls...

The first stage of my interview involved me talking to this soliciter provided by the pigs cos I couldnt afford a private lawyer, who told me if i remember correctly to plead guilty even before I sat on the seat...shouldve listened to cope2 and gone private..

he told me that the police had cctv evidence of me and my home boy, lets call him chudley... painting the abandoned police box and severval other locations along the road to suburbia.

I asked him about the fact that cctv is usually really poor and the only case they have that its me is the fact that its two males in hoods doing graffiti and I had paint all over my hands and 5 empty cans in my bag....well alrite it was a strong case from that side!

I then went into the interview room with the fattest arse in the world, connected to a flabby body entombed in a pinstripe suit looking like a pig in a tuxedo she sat me down and asked me why Id got arrested...

I said is it a crime to walk?

then she asked me loads of questions about graffiti, like why do i do it and whats my motivations, what do I paint....jesus I thought is this a fuckin interview for video graff(they should make a uk version you know..wink wink, nudge nudge) or something...I told her the truth..well almost and I didnt once admit to doing anything wrong the whole time, she asked me if those tags theyd taken flicks of were mine and I said I didnt remember, which was the truth...

she then asked if chudleys tag was in the picture and I said I didnt know I was too pissed, I dont know who that was...I cant read it...you know shit like that. She then said that the chudmunger revealed it!

cor blimey, talk about sinking the ship!

she thought my tag was sw4 anyway...I got off with a caution and a huge lecture where she tried to put graffiti in the same place as house burglary...

"if we the taxpayers built a house full of dvds and phones and televisions for burglars, then instead of putting the burglars away we could let them off and tell them to just steal from that house" that was her response to my suggestion of a legal wall being built....

I was also informed that a vandal squad was being set up in my home town, so I should "watch out at avon because they are hiding undercover vandal pigs who can blend in..." I laughed at that...

 

my friend wasnt so lucky, he admitted to some shit so they raided his house...things went tits up from there..

 

my conclusion and learning from this expirience is wear gloves and masks and fuck the police, theyre ever more stupid that I first thought.

as if im changing my tag as if im giving up

fuck the law.

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Originally posted by Skag Henry@Oct 8 2005, 06:56 AM

She then said that the chudmunger revealed it!

cor blimey, talk about sinking the ship!

 

 

Hahahah, why the fuck do they always fall for that one?

 

I swear to god if I ever become a cop I'll be able to solve every single case just by picking up two people at once and telling both of them that the other one already admitted to everything.

 

Way to go.

 

 

r u making this up or is this 4 real?

 

NEWS FLASH: You're not talking to the fat 13 year old girl from a grade higher than yours that let you e-fingerbang her over AIM chat last night. Spell out the fucking words, it doesn't take that much effort.

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I dont see how its embarrasing..

 

Do graf, theres a possibility youre going to get caught. Thats something you just have to deal with.

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yeah, man always run....sometimes they don't care enough to chase you.

 

then again, if they catch you, Youre probably going to get maced and beat down. (thats if youre in a big city in America, I don't know how they do it in the leafy suburbs of the uk)

 

so it's a toss up, sometimes you can talk your way out of it too. By being real cool and acting like " officer , I'm glad you stopped me for this warning" notice the word warning....use the jedi mind tricks...it works sometimes. if you have no other option.

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the shit bucket threw me off. where the fuck do you live Mongolia? jesus they care about graff but not indoor plumbing?

Do you have a bucket in your house too?

I agree with Dawood

the Jedi Mind trick will work.

and if not fight the copper. maybe if you have scraps you can beat him down and live to bomb another night.

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Originally posted by Shark Hammil@Nov 1 2005, 12:02 AM

Thats what you get for being an idiot.

 

yeah, i think this sums up the thread nicely

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Guest Abc Eater

Skag why the fuck didnt you run? Bombing trashed isnt always the best idea you cant run really fast nore straight while shitfaced, Just a tip...if you didnt know.

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