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Tyler Durden

R. Kellys "Trapped In The Closet".

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Has anyone else heard this shit? I caught the end of one of the videos the other night....and I honestly thought it was a joke or something the whole time. Then I was informed that not only was it a "real" song/video...but that it was just part 1 of 5. He's calling it his "opera".



Words dont really do the songs justice. If you've seen the videos, you know what the fuck I mean. But here's some "highlights" anyway:



From Pt. 1:


She hops all over him and says “I've cooked and ran your bathwater”

I'm telling you now this girl is so good she deserves an Oscar

The girl’s in the bed he starts snatching her clothes off

I'm in the closet like man, what the f_ck is going on?

You’re not going to believe it but things get deeper as the story goes on

Next thing you know a call comes through on my cell phone

I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate

But from the way he acted I could tell it was too late

He hopped up and said “there’s a mystery going on and I'm going to solve it”

And I'm like “God please don’t let this man open his closet”

He walks in the bathroom and looks behind the door

She says “baby come back to bed”

He says “say no more”

He pulls back the shower curtain while she’s biting her nails

Then he walks back to the room. Right now I'm sweating like hell

Checks under the bed (bed)

then under the dresser (dresser)

He looks at the closet (closet)

I pull out my berretta (berretta)

He walks up to the closet (closet)

He’s close up to the closet (closet)

Now he’s at the closet (closet)

Now he’s opening the closet (closet, closet, closet)



Pt. 2:


She started crying "saying “baby I’m sorry”

Then he said “baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be”

I started inching out

He says “no I want you to see this”

He said “I gotta get out this house, and not ‘til I reveal this secret”

I'm like “what is going on inside his head?”

Then he takes his phone and calls someone up himself

“Hello” (hello?)

“Baby?” (aha)

“Turn the car around” (what’s going on over there?)

“Listen, I just need for you to get right back here now”

He looks at me and says “well since we’re all coming out the closet

I'm not about to be the only one that’s broken-hearted”

She said “what do you mean?”

He said “just wait and see”

I said “somebody better talk to me”

And then his phone rings

He picks up and somebody says “sweetheart I'm downstairs”

And he’s like “I’ll buzz you up

I'm on the 5th floor hurry take the stairs”

And I'm like “who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to?”

And he says “in time you both will know the shocking truth

Baby this is something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time”

And I said “nigga I'm gonna shoot you both if you don’t say what’s on your mind”

He said “wait I hear somebody coming up the stairs”

And I'm looking at the door

He says “I think you better sit down in the chair”

I said “I'm gonna count to 4”


he says “mister wait!”


he says “please don’t shoot”


"he says “don’t shoot me”


She screams

Then a knock on the door

The gun’s in my hand

He opens the door

I’ll be goddammned it’s a man

(man… man… man…)



Pt. 3:


Here we are. The four of us...

In total shock... Me and her.

I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,

And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"

And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"

He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"


I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,

Because this is way more than I bargained for"

She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"

Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"

But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"

Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'

Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"




Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"

Cathy says, "Love my ass!"

Rufus said thei're getting married then I shoot one in the air!


I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!

Cuz all this shit I'm goin thru is unheard!"

I grabbed my cellular

I said, "This is so wrong,"

I call up my home,

And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....





God thats all I can fucking handle right now and thats just the first 3. I honestly only saw the first video and read these lyrics....I cant stomach going through to parts 4 and 5. I've read a few things on this song just now calling it the worst song ever.


Keep in mind, he's actually half singing/whining these lyrics over music. Its just so awful sounding. Why cant he just stick to pissing on underage chicks. At least hes good at that. Discuss.

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"I pull out my berretta"


Classic drama queen mistake niccuah, what up to the boy the put that

shit to his gut while your yelling and waving your other hand. then shoot

the bitch as well for telling you a fake name.


R.kelly's not a gangsta he's a mother fucking actor.

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as soon as he said he had a beretta, the song and the whole story shouldve ended right there. punk ass muh'fuggin nikkuh.

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Dont ask how or why but i saw all the videos on some dvd. its pretty retarded. his wife is fucking the cop that pulls him over on the way to his house . eh.

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