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Gunm

Vin Diesel........Gay?

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This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.

Vin Diesel can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

 

Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Vin Diesel killed JFK. Oswald fired Vin Diesel out of his rifle. Vin penetrated JFK's head then exploded.

 

If Vin Diesel were to stare directly at the sun, the sun would get scared and go to a different part of the galaxy.

 

Vin Diesel cuts his penis off every night with baling twine only to find it fully regenerated the next morning. Only he and the billy goats know why.

 

Vin Diesel invented the phrase "PWN3D" after a fist-fight with Ghandi, the details of which he has never released.

 

Vin Diesel does not have opposable thumbs, He does, however, have a prehensile tail.

 

If you put your ear up to Vin Diesel, you will hear either sounds of the ocean, or the tormented wailing of lost souls, depending on his mood.

 

Vin Diesel fought in the Battle of Thermopylae in the year 480 BC. 300 Spartans assisted him by holding his incredibly massive testicles while he single-handedly routed the Persian army.

 

Vin Diesel was born with a vestigial tail, which was removed and became 'The Artist Formerly Known as Prince'.

 

When Vin Diesel recently underwent surgery to remove an obstructed liver, surgeons were suprised to find a smaller Vin Diesel inside him.

 

Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel's balls cannot be used as a life raft. They can however be used as a sea anchor for large cruise ships.

 

Vin Diesel knows how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

 

Vin Diesel led a failed attempt to rescue Terri Schiavo, he was thwarted by The Communist Youth Brigade in the halls of the hospice who know his only weakness is a fear of shiny foil balloons.

 

Vin Diesel can morph into an alpaca, and no matter how much you shear him, there is always more hair. Vin's hair in alpaca form in 80% steel, 15% flexible carbon-based polymer, and 5% unknown, highly radioactive isotope that scientists have nicknamed, "The Sperm Ruiner.

 

Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".

 

Vin Diesel insisted that the new pope be named Pope POURRI saying that it would FRESHEN up the church. Vin Diesel loves a good pun.

 

Vin Diesel shot the Sheriff, but he swears it was in self defense.

 

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

 

Jesus walked the desert for 40 days and 40 nights without food or water; Diesel did it in an hour.

 

Vin Diesel single handedly built the pyramids. He isn't vain, so he let the egyptians take the credit.

 

Vin Diesel's leg hair is harvested bi-monthly for use in fine Scandinavian carpets due to it's extreme strength, durability, and ability to ward off Russians.

 

Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?

 

Vin Diesel translated the both the bible and the koran from its original text but swapped the endings "as a laugh".

 

Vin Diesel has been operating as a commando for the US government in it's subterranian war against the Hyperborean-Lizard Man alliance.

 

Vin Diesel owns the last remaining Tab soda machine in existence.

 

Four of the Five Books of Moses were inspired by Vin Diesel's experiences as a pastoral nomad during the Middle Bronze Age.

 

What Joan of Ark didn’t know was that she was actually hearing Vin Diesel.

 

When in second grade, Vin Diesel was asked to draw a picture of nature. Just as he finished, Van Gogh ran in, swiped it off his desk, and named it Starry Night Over the Rhone.

 

Vin Diesel's brain waves are audible to bats, and he uses them to get the bats to fly into his mouth. He has not sat down for a meal in twelve years.

 

Shakespeare’s first draft of “Romeo and Juliet” was actually titled “Vin Diesel Gets All the Honey He Wants.”

 

He is such a furious masturbator that he has had seven penis transplants

 

Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it's wings torn off by Vin Diesel.

 

Vin Diesel doesn't have to drink his own urine, but he does because it is sterile and he likes the taste."

 

If Vin Diesel did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

 

Vin Diesel shot Bambi's mother.

 

Vin Diesel loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

 

On April 30, 1975, at 8:35am, ten Marines departed the US Embassy in Saigon, concluding the United States presence in Vietnam. Just 6 days later (May 6, 1975), Vin Diesel set foot on the coast of Da Nang carrying only a loaded Magnum revolver that held six shots and a Louisville Slugger with a rusted nail driven through it. On the dawn of May 8, 1975, the entire Viet Cong army had been found dead.

 

Vin Diesel once saved a busload of orphans from going off a cliff, but only to consume them because he hadn't had breakfast that morning.

 

Before he came to this planet, Earth did not spin.

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here's a little known fact for yall: vin diesel was in "wildstyle" in the opening credits there

are 2 guys scaling a wall, the one checking out the other guys ass is vin diesel <-- TRUE STORY....

(no for real, if you got wildstyle check it out...)

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Vin Diezzz was just in the news for environmental terrorism. He fuckin strapped a woodchuck from a lab to his head and burnt down a McDonalds or some shit

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Originally posted by casekonly@Jul 22 2005, 09:25 PM

ok, there are a bunch of guys discussing whether or not vin diesel is gay. this should stop.

 

i saw two females post in here.

 

I agree.

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Vin Diesel's head sat on a wall. Vin Diesel's head had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the kings men got owned when Vin Diesel's head said, "What the fuck are you looking at?

 

hahaahah

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Originally posted by mackfatsoe@Jul 22 2005, 10:06 PM

 

But really, who cares. Tom Cruise makes him look like Shaft.

 

ha

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okay, breaking news............

 

Vin Diesel is NOT GAY! He just finished having great sex with my homegirl.

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