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I have a gash in my penix


synaps

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Originally posted by Pfffffffffft@Jul 10 2005, 04:36 AM

sometimes when i take a piss the belt gets in the way of my pee stream and that pisses me off...

 

 

or the hole of my wanger will be semi stuck together and ill pee out two streams and it will get all over my roommates curling irons lying beside the toilet..

 

if those were my curling irons, and i knew about it.. you'd be a dead man.

 

for realz.

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Originally posted by krie@Jul 10 2005, 04:42 AM

^ I hate when you go to pee and two streams come out, one goes in the bowl and the other is splashin all over the wall

 

Dude, that's awesome when that happens in a filthy public bathroom with other people in it, you can just stand there pissing straight forward at not hitting the urinal at all. Mega filth status.

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Update:

 

well, after holding certain reservations about carrying on my morning routine, I decided it would be wrong to break tradtion.

thankfully this time I was a bit more aware of the toilets longing to gobble down dongs and escaped without further injury.

 

although a traumatic experience, I think it's safe to say this was a one-off and (hopefully) won't happen again.

 

the cut is still a bitch. whenever it brushes over anything I let out a light yelp similiar to that of a boy staying at the neverland ranch.

 

 

 

 

Originally posted by Glik0@Jul 10 2005, 04:31 PM

Im refering to it as a penix from now on.

 

you can send my royalty checks in on tuesdays, thanks.

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Dr. Phil would put half of the blame on his parents and then he'd say some retarded shit that we all already know and the people would nod like they had never thought of it. Then, after the show was over and they were done documenting, the family would go back to being exactly like the inbred rednecks they are. Word is bond, god.

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Originally posted by synaps@Jul 10 2005, 01:49 PM

Update:

the cut is still a bitch. whenever it brushes over anything I let out a light yelp similiar to that of a boy staying at the neverland ranch.

 

If you don't like that feeling, here's another helpful hint. When you're drunkenly banging asian sluts, wear a condom so you don't get the clap. I had the "brush against it" yelp and the "oh god I don't want to pee again it hurts so bad" whine going at the same time.

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I was discussing the topic of this with two friends of mine, one female one male, and they couldnt understand how this would happen.

 

I need some details, are you sitting on an oval shaped toilet or and old school round boy?

 

Are you a hunchbacked shitter, red marks on the thighs etc. Or do you shit with a straight back.

 

The straight back makes sense to me seeing as how your old willy could worm its way into a gap created under the seat due to lack of pressure.

 

But if youre a hunch shitter, I think you might need to call Ripley's because your penis is quite adept at squirming.

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Originally posted by Glik0@Jul 11 2005, 12:14 AM

I was discussing the topic of this with two friends of mine, one female one male, and they couldnt understand how this would happen.

 

I need some details, are you sitting on an oval shaped toilet or and old school round boy?

 

Are you a hunchbacked shitter, red marks on the thighs etc. Or do you shit with a straight back.

 

The straight back makes sense to me seeing as how your old willy could worm its way into a gap created under the seat due to lack of pressure.

 

But if youre a hunch shitter, I think you might need to call Ripley's because your penis is quite adept at squirming.

yeh i was wondering the same thing

 

maybe his cock is like 13 inches long and just kinda has a ind of its own

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Originally posted by Glik0@Jul 11 2005, 05:14 AM

I was discussing the topic of this with two friends of mine, one female one male, and they couldnt understand how this would happen.

 

I need some details, are you sitting on an oval shaped toilet or and old school round boy?

 

Are you a hunchbacked shitter, red marks on the thighs etc. Or do you shit with a straight back.

 

The straight back makes sense to me seeing as how your old willy could worm its way into a gap created under the seat due to lack of pressure.

 

But if youre a hunch shitter, I think you might need to call Ripley's because your penis is quite adept at squirming.

 

 

you ever sit on the bog for a while, get down doing your thing, then stand up and the toilet seat sticks to your ass for a second? suction styling?!

 

that's basically what happened. I stood up just a little bit and leaned forward quickly to grab an ashtray. toilet seat stuck to my ass and lifted just high enough for the very tip of the dong to somehow get caught between seat and bowl. I sit straight up, so I'm assuming the suddenly lift and lean caused it to swing forward just enough to get clamped

 

 

hope that helps explain things a bitbetter for you

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