Jump to content

i cannot stop laughing


Guest beardo

Recommended Posts

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.

an old friend of mine shit himself (at his friend's house) while obliterated on alchohol one night many years ago..he must've been on the 3rd floor when it happened, because there was a trail of it all the way to the bathroom on the 1st floor...he woke up in their bathroom covered in it.

 

this same guy..who was about 6'5'', 325 lbs., was bar hopping one night...relaxing at the bar, his legs were wrapped in the barstool..he was preety wasted, and fell over sideways at one point....because he was fat, and his legs were tangled in the stool, he broke his right leg in two places..right there at the bar.

 

lovely.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last night I went to this high-rollers party out in the hills. Shit was dope, lush fucking house, maybe 60 people there. Shuttle service for parking. Full bar and a large majority of the girls there were from a local high dollar strip club and half the dudes were gay... and you know this was a motherfucking costume party- the freaks were out. One had to pay 10 bones to get an armband to drink but the BUSH was on a roll, "Can I hold this drink while you go get another one? Thanks sugar." Then I got caught by the host. He asks about my armband, I didn't have one. He wanted ten bucks- didn't have that either. He asks about the drink in my hand, I seriously answered, "Uh Im holding it for someone." I'm such a terrible liar. He hands me an armband free of charge. I hit the bar. Drinking drinking drinking. Hey there's a pool table with a couple of girls looking good. Wanna play? Sure! Do that, decide to go outside for some air with the girls. The BUSH is macking ho's by the hot tub- hot shit right? The house is on a hill and the back porch is 3 levels. The hot tub is up top in the middle w/ stairs wrapping around both sides leading to the pool on the middle level. My drink cup is barren, time for a refill. I hop up to go inside and the next thing I know I'm doing a backwards somersault straight into the fucking pool. I got real sober real quick. I really didn't mind the embarrasment- but my cell went swimming too. I am a clumsy motherfucker. :dazed:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

last night my boy shows up at like 1am t my other boyes crib clutching a almost empty bottle of bankers club.. says he and some other boy drank it all ..so he pours himself another glass and takes 2 sips and then passes out on my freinds bed... he wakes up walks over to the heater and drops his droors about to piss when we thought no he might get electricuted. so he pulls his shit baxck up and sits down about a minute later. he pulls his dick out and just starts pissiin all over himself... for like 5 minutes.. long asspiss..then he gets up takes all his clothes off except his boxers and starts screamin all this shit so we try t get him to calm down.. he runs downstairs comes back up with the shower curtain rapd around him. finally we get his clothes on and i tell him id give him a ride cuase me and his sister.... so it was a good reason to give him a ride.. he starts screamin i dont give a fuck and goes buck.. eventually he starts walken and me and my other boy go lokin for him. i make a turn on no turn on red get pulled over and get a dui.. my other boy runs into 711 and kicks down the back door and bolts outtta the scene. after about 10 minutes in the station who do they drag in.. the drunkest kid .. he was so drunk screaimin fuck cops get a real job and just goin off. pretty funny.. he also pissed himself in the cel and got stripped searched cuase i was like your the reason im here asshole.. and i told the cos he was hididng drugs and he needed to be stripped searched but he was goin so crazy they did it anyway.. so today i find out he got mad d shit and the other kid who killed the bottle with him. knocked up on his neighbors door thinken it was his and passed out on his neighbors lawn also gettin arrested....

 

 

 

wheew long ass story sorry .....

 

thought it was kinda funny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...