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Quoting my dumb roomate


FunktionOne

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Everyday my roomate speaks the most amazing jewels of retarded nonsesne, I think today had to be a winner when he said "Yo, remember that one girl I fucked about...umm..three weeks ago, yeah dude....and I didn't even have to pay!"

 

So yeah I know your roomates said worse, right?

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Today my roomate, got pissed off because he couldn't figure out how to work a dvd burner...he starts screaming at the top of his lungs about how "technology is too complicated" I notice this as I'm running late to work and scrambling to pay rent..I say "hey things could be worse" he says "you just don't understand my life is drama" <----this coming from my roomate who doesn't work at all, gets drunk at the bar all day and night and gets a check sent to his door every month..give me a fucking break...

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I have a friend who says amazingly funny yet terribly stupid things:

 

He calls me up one night and is like

 

"Yo have you seen the news? 2 planes just crashed into each other"

 

He was refering to the 911 tragedies.

 

Or just the other day:

 

"This is bullshit, everyones all talkative and happy, then as soon as we get into the library everyone goes quiet"

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"This is bullshit, everyones all talkative and happy, then as soon as we get into the library everyone goes quiet"

 

That's good, right now my roomates telling girls how much they make him blush on adultfriendfinder.com (adultfriendfinder.com = myspace's raunchy cousin)

 

 

 

 

 

ohhh... and don't be concerned about my 487 or something posts, I tremble in your mad crazy 12oz status...truly amazing

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I don't know about roommates but I have some friends that say some pretty monumentally stupid shit. I'm talking the type of comments that are so short-sighted and dufus-like that even as their friend you feel bad pointing out just how retarded they sound.

 

One of my boy's more recent tangents to go off on when he's faded is how 'if we all put our heads together we could easily pull $100,000 in a year and turn our lives around! Think about it, it could happen!'. Then we break it down to him that there's millions of people out there who actually have their shit together that've been trying their entire lives to pull 100Gs in a year that can't even pull it off; let alone a group of self-destructive slackers. To which he replies 'Yeah, but if you really think about it....'

 

Yeah, if you really think about it... you're really fucking stupid for even thinking about it.

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YO HOMIE. I DONT EVEN HAVE TO TRY TO BEAT YOU ON THIS ONE B. MY COUSIN/ROOMMATE IS SUCH A FUCKING MORON THAT HE SAYS SHIT THATS STUNNINGLY RETARDED, ALL THE TIME B, SOME OF THE MORE AMAZING QUOTES (NONE OF THIS SHIT IS A TYPO)

 

"YO B, IMAGINE IS CRAB STICKS GAVES YOU CRABS? *GIGGLE*"

 

"YO I FUCKED THAT BITCH YO, SHE WAS A ALBANIAN I BET YOU NEVER FUCK A BITCH FROM ALBANY B, CUZ YOU DONT BE SMASHIN EZZOTIC BITCHES NIGGA"

 

"YO NIGGA! WHY THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT ME LIKE...LIKE...LIKE IM A FUCKIN PAPER B!"

 

 

 

 

MERO.

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Originally posted by MEROJUANA@Jun 14 2005, 06:00 PM

YO HOMIE. I DONT EVEN HAVE TO TRY TO BEAT YOU ON THIS ONE B. MY COUSIN/ROOMMATE IS SUCH A FUCKING MORON THAT HE SAYS SHIT THATS STUNNINGLY RETARDED, ALL THE TIME B, SOME OF THE MORE AMAZING QUOTES (NONE OF THIS SHIT IS A TYPO)

 

"YO B, IMAGINE IS CRAB STICKS GAVES YOU CRABS? *GIGGLE*"

 

"YO I FUCKED THAT BITCH YO, SHE WAS A ALBANIAN I BET YOU NEVER FUCK A BITCH FROM ALBANY B, CUZ YOU DONT BE SMASHIN EZZOTIC BITCHES NIGGA"

 

"YO NIGGA! WHY THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT ME LIKE...LIKE...LIKE IM A FUCKIN PAPER B!"

 

 

 

 

MERO.

 

 

hahahahaha

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i've woken up one of my roommates to a 6 month old, moldy peanut-butter cup pie with lit birthday candles, singing happy birthday to her when it wasn't her birthday. then we wouldn't let her go back to sleep till she blew out the candles and made a wish...

 

another time, me and my female roommates took everything out of our male roommates room, including his bed, and arranged it in the living room when he was at work.

 

but, i think the best line said by any of my roommates is: "check your pumpkin," chirped at the highest pitch possible so many times that the neighbors next door started banging on the living room wall. why "check your pumpkin"? i dont remember cuz i was way too stoned, but i think it had something to do with halloween...

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