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imported_grim540

Dearest Red States

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I have learned to really hate redneck America over the last few months, and I consider myself a bit of a hillbilly at times, but I found this interesting. Delete it if its been posted before. ( I did do a search)

 

 

(This is a repost that someone sent me in myspace

Trapped in a red state, I agree with just about every words it says. )

 

Dearest Red States

 

(This is a repost that someone sent me in myspace

Trapped in a red state, I agree with every words it says. )

 

 

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

 

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,

Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,

and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

 

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

 

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

 

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

 

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's,

we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

 

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to

want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care

if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq,

and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

 

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water,

more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent

of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese,

90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias

and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans

(and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the

tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all

televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

 

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,

62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say

that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you

crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

 

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.

You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

(HA!!!!!! You would think I added that part but I swear I didnt)

 

 

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California.

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That would be dope as fuck! If it came to civil that would be one war worth fighting! :biglaugh:

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Originally posted by Mr. Chad@Jun 9 2005, 02:28 AM

dumb

 

Why's it dumb? The rednecks tried to break off in the 1860's, We should just let them have their Dixie Land now. :haha:

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Guest KING BLING
Originally posted by ARCEL@Jun 8 2005, 11:36 PM

pineapple and lettuce ooh

 

Well the logic goes that we will allow some of our residents from California, graduates of MIT, and the like to continue to support your internet, power and phone systems in exchange for your produce and cows. And every now and than when we want some delicasy like fried chicken and waffles or mormon food, we'll give you a copy of windows 2000 - of course by than it will 2035

 

Read Ecotopia by Ernest Callenbach...

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now why would you go and do that? i made a silly comment and you misinterpret it plus respond to things that i did not say. i didn't say where i was from. i didn't say i'm a mormon. i didn't say anything about working at kfc, or anything to do with fried chicken. i've never disrespected you, in fact i've admired and agreed with some of your writings on here. i don't get the hostility towards a stranger.

 

mm pineapple

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whata siklly statement: 'the rednecks tried to break off in the 1860's'

 

learns oem history. that was over financial shit...trade, etc.had really nothing to do with slavery. otherwise, there would've been no buffalo soldiers.

 

anyhow, don't mistake redneck states for containing all redneck republinazi's that are dumb as shit. i live in the southeast, have alll my life...all over this fucking place. it's not so bad inflorida...mainly a bunch of snowbirds from canada and new york...

 

the hills have english and scottish descendants. those are your rednecks..almost cockney accents. and they are not stupid.

 

some are. the ones who have sold out and became nascar fags. the ones who drink beer all day and burn trash in their front yards. they suck. but not all are like that. my neighbors are old redneck mountain hipies. walked aruond on the mountains picking shrooms and smoking pot all day. engineers. hardcore. not your average stupid misconception.

 

you do know the north sold out during the civil war, right? trade with the south. supply lines, etc...

 

my point: don't front on the south. it's not what you think.

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Originally posted by casekonly@Jun 9 2005, 05:56 AM

whata siklly statement: 'the rednecks tried to break off in the 1860's'

 

learns oem history. that was over financial shit...trade, etc.had really nothing to do with slavery. otherwise, there would've been no buffalo soldiers.

 

anyhow, don't mistake redneck states for containing all redneck republinazi's that are dumb as shit. i live in the southeast, have alll my life...all over this fucking place. it's not so bad inflorida...mainly a bunch of snowbirds from canada and new york...

 

the hills have english and scottish descendants. those are your rednecks..almost cockney accents. and they are not stupid.

 

some are. the ones who have sold out and became nascar fags. the ones who drink beer all day and burn trash in their front yards. they suck. but not all are like that. my neighbors are old redneck mountain hipies. walked aruond on the mountains picking shrooms and smoking pot all day. engineers. hardcore. not your average stupid misconception.

 

you do know the north sold out during the civil war, right? trade with the south. supply lines, etc...

 

my point: don't front on the south. it's not what you think.

 

 

yeah man, there is way to many hypocrisy's and falsehoods in that original "letter."

you can tell it was a douche who wrote it. if your gonna write something like that atleast get your shit straight.

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Originally posted by casekonly@Jun 9 2005, 10:56 AM

whata siklly statement: 'the rednecks tried to break off in the 1860's'

 

learns oem history. that was over financial shit...trade, etc.had really nothing to do with slavery. otherwise, there would've been no buffalo soldiers.

 

anyhow, don't mistake redneck states for containing all redneck republinazi's that are dumb as shit. i live in the southeast, have alll my life...all over this fucking place. it's not so bad inflorida...mainly a bunch of snowbirds from canada and new york...

 

the hills have english and scottish descendants. those are your rednecks..almost cockney accents. and they are not stupid.

 

some are. the ones who have sold out and became nascar fags. the ones who drink beer all day and burn trash in their front yards. they suck. but not all are like that. my neighbors are old redneck mountain hipies. walked aruond on the mountains picking shrooms and smoking pot all day. engineers. hardcore. not your average stupid misconception.

 

you do know the north sold out during the civil war, right? trade with the south. supply lines, etc...

 

my point: don't front on the south. it's not what you think.

 

Damn dude, get a sense of humor. I know it aint all rednecks down there, and we have rednecks up here too.

I say all normal people in the South/Midwest move up north or to Calli or whatever, and all rednecks and Republican type move to the red states and then we build walls. :haha:

 

 

 

But on a serious note, I never said anything about the Civil War other than that they tried to break off. Any half educated person know's that slavery played only a small part in the Civil War and the reasons for it.

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Originally posted by angelofdeath@Jun 9 2005, 11:45 AM

yeah man, there is way to many hypocrisy's and falsehoods in that original "letter."

you can tell it was a douche who wrote it. if your gonna write something like that atleast get your shit straight.

 

Get a sense of humor dawg.

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Guest KING BLING
Originally posted by ARCEL@Jun 9 2005, 01:28 AM

now why would you go and do that? i made a silly comment and you misinterpret it plus respond to things that i did not say. i didn't say where i was from. i didn't say i'm a mormon. i didn't say anything about working at kfc, or anything to do with fried chicken. i've never disrespected you, in fact i've admired and agreed with some of your writings on here. i don't get the hostility towards a stranger.

 

mm pineapple

 

I actually didn't mean to attack you - I was half joking and I think I know what state you are from, not sure if you're HERE still, but don't take it too seriously...

 

mmmormons

 

 

And yeah, no one thinks everyone in the south is retarded, but the stats and history show whats what. A lot of people from the country in general, but specifically the south and bible belt <especially politicians and preachers> talk shit, sometimes on the sly, about cities that make up large percentages of the democratic voting pool - many hate our life styles or openess to them, our willingness to help people by paying taxes, to pay taxes based on what our budget demands not slash and spend politics, our preferance to negotiation instead of war, etc....I mean, this is over generalizing, but most of the republican party seems to want to go to war, ban gays, and lower taxes - yet the Democratic states by far pay more in taxes used for war (and remember, New York was the REASON for our current war), probably have way more gay people and no one cares, and we pay more in taxes which they end up benifiting from...

 

 

The attitude dispayed here is the immature yet realistic backlash to having retarded lying republican politicans in our face all the time while clone christians keep voiting for them...

 

Some of the graphics here are pretty cool...

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/

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Originally posted by SF1+Jun 9 2005, 04:39 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (SF1 - Jun 9 2005, 04:39 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-angelofdeath@Jun 9 2005, 11:45 AM

yeah man, there is way to many hypocrisy's and falsehoods in that original "letter."

you can tell it was a douche who wrote it. if your gonna write something like that atleast get your shit straight.

 

Get a sense of humor dawg.

[/b]

 

its not that i dont have a sense of humor. if i wrote the "paleo-conservative/constitutionist, dear fuck head liberal blue yankee city assholes" letter everyone would be lashing out death threats. i just think this letter and the "fuck the south" letters are just rediculous.

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i think they serve their purpose. if it gets us all thinking, it's served it's purpose.

 

going to smoke pot with the redneck neighbors.

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Originally posted by grim540@Jun 8 2005, 09:11 PM

I have learned to really hate redneck America over the last few months, and I consider myself a bit of a hillbilly at times, but I found this interesting. Delete it if its been posted before. ( I did do a search)

 

 

(This is a repost that someone sent me in myspace

Trapped in a red state, I agree with just about every words it says. )

 

Dearest Red States

 

(This is a repost that someone sent me in myspace

Trapped in a red state, I agree with every words it says. )

 

 

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

 

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,

Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,

and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

 

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

 

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

 

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

 

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's,

we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

 

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to

want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care

if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq,

and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

 

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water,

more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent

of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese,

90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias

and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans

(and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the

tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all

televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

 

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,

62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say

that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you

crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

 

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.

You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

(HA!!!!!! You would think I added that part but I swear I didnt)

 

 

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California.

 

this is awesome

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i think weve gotten past the hippie liberal stage....i think most lefties are starting to become more willing to do what it takes to restore sanity to this country....and i dont think that means any crazy shit(though it might) but instead a willingness to stand up, aggressivly and firmly hold their ground against this neo conservatism and ignorance

 

we need more posts like this one

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