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Frate_Raper

Fuck This Shit Thread - no homo

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

It's 3:10A.M. and someones car alarm has been going off for about 20minutes. The owner is standing on the sidewalk just staring at it. It's the loud honk kind not the siren. It's becoming tiresome.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Somebody in my office just opened something that smells like dog food. Hardcore canned soft wet dog food. I can't detect where the smell is coming from. I thought somebody was pulling a prank on me like leaving it outside my cube. No dice...Its giving me a headache...

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

 

I need some COFFEE!

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

One word:

 

Murder.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

you need a smelloscope

just like a telescope, only you use it to track down smells

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Catface? Needs Coffee? You don't have any? No redbull? Nothin?

 

How strange.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

you need a smelloscope

just like a telescope, only you use it to track down smells

 

or a flexible sigmoitiscope. its like a telescope except................

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

I think i forgot to put deorderant on this morning...

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

I think i forgot to put deorderant on this morning...

 

Murder whoever makes a remark about it...

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

stinky and dumb....wow.

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

HAHAHA....

 

also add....FATTY!!

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

no I woke up late so I was rushing, i dont smell yet I just realized it. I am going home to apply when I grab lunch...

 

I AM HUSKY!

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

I just heard someone say "I just want to help people. I'm a smile merchant."

 

Good lord.

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Kill them!! They are an alien lizard

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Thats your second time to tell someone to kill someone else...

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Thats your second time to tell someone to kill someone else...

 

It solves all problems

 

but yours is a special case....alien lizards need to be irradiated off the face of our plant! Bastards!

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

My Weekend With The Miss.

 

Ok This will probably be one of my last posts for awhile. I feel I've been spending too much time on here so after today and tomorrow morning don't expect another awesome story for at least a month. I'll still lurk for a few min or two but not hours like I usually do. So after tomorrow morning if you need to contact me do it on the Team Alco myspace or my own. Now on with the show.

 

So I had the parentals pad for the weekend and decided to take full advantage of it with my woman. We arrived on Friday at 10PM. Grabbed some Sonics and a bottle of wild turkey. Had drunk love and went to bed. Woke up the next day and took a shower. After I drew a bath....

 

DSCN0797.jpg

DSCN0798.jpg

 

Hopped in with the woman and chillaxed listening to explosions in the sky (suggested by HighSociety) and Manitoba's crayon (suggested by El Mams). A 45 min soak in bath milk and salts is amazing. Definitely better with a partner while playing around with the good parts.

 

Hopped out took a nap for about 5 hours. Woke up and decided to go out to dinner and a movie. We went to the elephant bar where I couldn't help but flirt with every waitress in there. My girl understands that I can't stop being amazing around other woman. I think she enjoys it actually and to tell you the truth I don't mind letting her know I still got it. I order a tri-tip and vegetables and was severely disappointed. So I had to take down a couple jack and cokes. Paid for the bill and got the fuck out of there.

 

We had about an hour to kill before the movies so we decided to drive around a bit. I find it cute that when you drive around the ghetto the girl your with gets all scared and shit. I feel like a real tough guy. We end up at the movie theaters with 5 min to spare and there's some nut outside preaching about god and how the end is coming. He gave me this cleverly designed card which I believed it was a blockbuster card at first but....you'll see.......

 

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Wild shit. Anyways we watched 300. Now I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind Leonidas chilling in my room while I fuck my girl yelling "For Spartaaaaaa!!!!" Anyways I got what I paid for. If you're watching that movie with the intention to make connection between it and historical facts you wont enjoy it but if you watch the movie with the mind frame that it's based off a comic book you'll appreciate it for what it is.

 

Head back to the pad for some more naughty lovin'. Oh and it is a big deal cause I haven't seen my lady for about 2 weeks prior to this weekend on the account of me always being with other friends. So we fell asleep watching the history channel which was airing the battle of Thermopylae. I had some crazy dreams two of them involving EBP's girl but I didn't think anything of it cause they were tossed in there with dreams of me killing people and riding unicorns. PS I was very drunk before we went to bed.

 

Woke up and decided to lube up in the shower and have some crazy sex. Got the idea from this site.. http://tour.bigwetbutts.com/t1/. Hit up some lube and some olive oil all over our body and it felt like fucking one giant big vagina due to all the wetness.

 

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Pic of the olive oil but I forgot to flickature the lubes. Anyways highly recommended just be careful since everything is slippery and you could lose balance and snap your dick in half. Also when you clean up in the shower all the oil and lube hits the floor and you now have turned the shower into a giant death trap. After the shower I drew another bath.....

 

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Took flicks of the woman....

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Just a sampler the rest are for my eyes only. Had some more fun in the hot tub which I'm going to have to say was the best part of the weekend. Theres nothing funner than relaxing in a tub full of hot water and turning the cold water on just to splash around. I played the same music as before which reminds me I need some more mellow songs.

 

Hopped out took a nap for about an hour then proceeded to make love in every nook and cranny of my parents house excluding their bedroom cause that shits just weird. I can't understand people who fuck in their parents bedrooms. Afterwards made an awesome dip for Taquitos which goes as follows....

 

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+

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=

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Which is delicious and when combined with a couple of these....

 

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Its all good.

 

Random pics of interest.

 

Bath and shower where a lot of magic happened.

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Living room A

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but we mostly chilled in living room B where I hooked up my laptop to the big screen and the quality was surprisingly good.

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I decided to flick this as we were packing up cause i thought it was funny that i threw the birth control right next to the Wild Turkey. Classy.

DSCN0811.jpg

 

Well I guess thats it. This is Zero signing off.

DSCN0796-1.jpg

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

I started to read that.

Then I decided I didn't really care.

I thought ya'll broke up?

 

 

But the pictures reminded me of something I heard recently.

Prince has a special servant hired specifically to wash down the people he sleeps with.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

Still together. Broke up for awhile you know how that goes. You girls just get crazy then when shit hits the fan leave but come back later when the coast is clear.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

i need some filipino advice....i bought a big bottle of that filipino sweet/hot sauce....but dont know what to eat with it....help.

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

is it this?

 

sri_fruhlingsrollen.jpg

 

if so, you can eat it with lumpia, eggrolls, pork.....and i think thats what i usually eat it with. love that stuff though!

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Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

 

^^yeah...its called "mae ploy" sweet chilli sauce....i need to call up my pinay homegirl and see if she can cook me some lumpia.

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