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Ici Montréal


Edika

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# I will not carve gods.

# I will not spank others.

# I will not aim for the head.

# I will not barf unless I'm sick

# I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

# I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.

# I will not conduct my own fire drills.

# Funny noises are not funny.

# I will not snap bras.

# I will not fake seizures.

# This punishment is not boring and pointless.

# My name is not Dr. Death.

# I will not defame New Orleans.

# I will not prescribe medication.

# I will not bury the new kid.

# I will not teach others to fly.

# I will not bring sheep to class.

# A burp is not an answer.

# Teacher is not a leper.

# Coffee is not for kids.

# I will not eat things for money.

# I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.

# The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.

# I will not call the principal "spud head".

# Goldfish don't bounce.

# Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.

# No one is interested in my underpants.

# I will not sell miracle cures.

# I will return the seeing-eye dog.

# I do not have diplomatic immunity.

# I will not charge admission to the bathroom.

# I will never win an emmy.

# The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.

# All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.

# I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.

# I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.

# My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.

# I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.

# I am not deliciously saucy.

# Organ transplants are best left to professionals.

# There are plenty of businesses like show business.

# Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.

# I will not waste chalk.

# I will not skateboard in the halls.

# I will not instigate revolution.

# I will not draw naked ladies in class.

# I did not see Elvis.

# I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".

# Garlic gum is not funny.

# They are laughing at me, not with me.

# I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.

# I will not encourage others to fly.

# I will not fake my way through life.

# Tar is not a plaything.

# I will not Xerox my butt.

# It's potato, not potatoe.

# I will not trade pants with others.

# I am not a 32 year old woman.

# I will not do that thing with my tongue.

# I will not drive the principal's car.

# I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.

# I will not sell school property.

# I will not burp in class.

# I will not cut corners.

# I will not get very far with this attitude.

# I will not belch the National Anthem.

# I will not sell land in Florida.

# I will not grease the monkey bars.

# I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.

# I will not do anything bad ever again.

# I will not show off.

# I will not sleep through my education.

# I am not a dentist.

# Spitwads are not free speech.

# Nobody likes sunburn slappers.

# High explosives and school don't mix.

# Hamsters cannot fly.

# I will not bribe Principal Skinner.

# I will not squeak chalk.

# I will finish what I sta

# "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.

# Underwear should be worn on the inside.

# The Christmas Pageant does not stink.

# I will not torment the emotionally frail.

# I will not send lard through the mail.

# I will not use abbrev.

# Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.

# Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.

# I will not dissect things unless instructed.

# I will not hang donuts on my person.

# No one wants to hear my armpits.

# I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.

# I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.

# I will not strut around like I own the place.

# Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.

# The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.

# I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.

# I am not a lean mean spitting machine.

# The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan.

# I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.

# Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.

# I do not have power of attorney over first graders.

# Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.

# I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr..

# I am not certified to remove asbestos.

# "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.

# I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball.

# I will remember to take my medication.

# The boys room is not a water park.

# Beans are neither fruit nor musical.

# Nerve gas is not a toy.

# "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism.

# The First Amendment does not cover burping.

# Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough.

 

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