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Office Jobs....


hopeizm
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For the most part for me they are the shit..... I get to do almost what I want when I want, my hands arnt getting dirty doing what I do...blah blah blah...

That was untill this morning.... My boss came over and gave me a set of forms to fill out.... we get diffrent forms every couple of months asking the most stupid fucking questions you can think of about our jobs.....

 

 

What did I accomplish since our last discussion?...... what discussion?

 

What feedback did my colleagues and my customers give me?..... I dont have any customers, I have a set workload...I get through it every day, if there was a problem im sure somone would tell me.

 

How effective was I with respect to my job know how and *** ***** ****** Essentials?....... Was?....what you fucking mean was? Look if your thinking of getting rid of me just let me know...i'll walk before you kick me out.... Dont just try and give me nightmares becauses im spending too much time on 12oz these days?

 

How did I "Inspire. Enthuse and Support" my customers?........ I dont have any customers (you sure I got the right fucking form you retard?)

 

The rest is too tedious to type out............. Why do most office work places want to waste their time with this bullshit?

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Basically office do this cos they have crap managers and for some reason offices with crap staff never just say "sorry you are fired for being crap" instead they have all these initiatives and bollocks that some management consultant that they spent far too much money on suggested. It makes the boss feel happy as he gets to run the whole exercise and at the end he can call it a "success". Tick the right boxes, make up some lies and go along with the charade.

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OOOh I needed this thread right now

My boss is straight out of Office Space with his shitty Boss Humour. Examples-----

"This`ll keep you out of trouble"

:yuck:

"That oughta keep you busy"

:clown2:

"If I can`t find this file I`m holding you accountable"

:huh2:

"You`re going to be a busy boy tomorrow"

:haha:

Am I legally entitled to disembowel him with a stapler? Cause I REALLY want to.

OH-OH AND he said I should be more concious of the clothes I wear while going in to work as the clients might not like it...(I wear a toque and my jacket because it`s cold to cover my shirt and tie on the way in to my office).

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Every office job has several common factors.

 

The good ones:

 

•Fringe Benifits!!!

•Down time while other member of th company review your work. (AKA

time to spend on 12oz/ work on outside jobs.)

•Never work on Week-ends

 

The Bad ones:

 

•Boring as fuck

•Every thing is Rushed(often comprimising certian aspects of the job)

•It's Bright

•It's Quite

•Got to wake up early

•Got to be up on your sports to Bull-Shit with bosses (I hate sports)

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Originally posted by b0b@Feb 17 2005, 12:52 PM

Basically office do this cos they have crap managers and for some reason offices with crap staff never just say "sorry you are fired for being crap" instead they have all these initiatives and bollocks that some management consultant that they spent far too much money on suggested. It makes the boss feel happy as he gets to run the whole exercise and at the end he can call it a "success". Tick the right boxes, make up some lies and go along with the charade.

 

you get the same type of questionairres at colleges and universities every once in a while. i doubt anyone actually reads them!

 

just be glad you dont work in retail. fuck that shit.

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the corporate world sucks.

 

i used to think having an office job would be the best thing in the world, but its far from it.

 

i mean, like most jobs, i have a love / hate relationship with my latest job. there are some really good points of it, such as beautiful women everywhere, benefits, lots of perks, fun work atmosphere, 5 minute drive from my house, pretty good pay for me not having a college degree, and tons of potential to improve and move up the food chain in the corporate world.

 

some of the down sides are:

 

they demand a lot out of you, you make your paycheck, and if you dont hit your numbers, you dont get paid hardly anything and that can get nerve racking. i feel like im on the fucking stock exchange floor in new york wheelin' and dealin' all day long. they add mandatory overtime hours whenever they want to, its hard to get a day off because it complete fucks up your month unless you use your paid vacation time, and our schedule is always changing every 2 months, so its hard to get a girl, let alone have a family, etc etc etc.

 

i feel like a grain of sand in the middle of the dessert in my company to. its a very worthless feeling and im not fond of it.

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if you think you're gonna get sacked you gotta start planning your moves. use what happened with one of our employees last year. New management was brought in to re-evaluate how things are run. So one day, word through the company is people are getting axed TODAY. so when he realizes he has a meeting at head office scheduled for 3, he decided....fuck it....I'm going home sick. then next day....BAM! he starts filing his long term disability benefits. so now its over a year later...he's still officially employed....he's getting paid....and sitting at home on his ass. and if he ever gets over his "condition" then he technically still has a job. his manager even knew what he was doing, but he had his paperwork in order so they couldn't deny him the benefits.

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For me personally, I dont think its a case of getting fired its just all the bullshitty little things that go on in a place like where I work that get up my nose, like the questionaire ect.... in a way I just think it puts people on edge because you feel as if you have to impress them with a few words and they are not really taking a lot of notice of you and what your actually doing - like tease said about feeling like a grain of sand............... anyway, im starting to sound like a whining bitch........ I'm just gonna take them for everything i can get out the fuckers

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