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SUICIDE


dr. frink one

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Alright, no frink hasn't gone horribly melodramatic, but I was wondering what your thoughts on suicide are. I guess I mean, when you have the shittiest day you can remember, and that shitty day turns into a shitty month....have you ever thought about it? Do you know anyone who has? I've heard people call it selfish and mean, while others say if people can't find a way out, maybe they will be happier in death. I guess I was jts wondering cause i had this conversation with somebody today, and it got me to thinking.

just to reaffirm, i am not planning on killing myself, and I just wanted to start a topic that might have interesting moral discussion. No bullshit, no stupid remarks....

and just to prove how non-melodramatic I am, I took a picture of me and my horribly obese friend today.

http://www.internerd.com/frinky/images/screenshots/cremepie.jpg'>

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Guest imported_Tesseract

I would concider suicide as an option after the age of 50.

I would have actual reasons to do so by then.I hope not.

The teenage idols that commited suicide (pop/moviestars etc)

Were ment to remain teenagers forever,even if they'd still be alive.

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I definately wouldnt say its selfish and mean. Depression is an illness, one that i know i've experienced (for no apparent reason i was just sad as hell and felt like shit was hopeless, and i couldnt help it, then one day I just felt happy again) and i can see that if someone has a particularly bad case it could drive them to suicide.

 

Some times it is just the easy way out, but in any case i dont see why it should be regarded as morally wrong. I don't know shit about religions, but in some i think suicide is regarded as a terrible sin. Some people think that stupid teenagers frustrated with their "uncoolness" ,or something to that extent, commit suicide because they see their "cool" rock stars doing it, then convince themselves that they are really depressed and try, sometimes succeed, to commit suicide. This could be true, but i dont know what im talking about, so ill shut up.

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ive seriously thought about it, ive had the knife in hand ready to go once, last time i thought about it was about a month ago, but i would miss graffiti too much, so i dont think ill do it anytime soon...i feel so rediculous thinking about it..it scares me too...if im seriously thinking about it, but not doing it right now, what will happen to me in the future? what happens if i just get tired of living my shitty life? ive thought it over alot, im not going to do it, the thought still creeps in every now and then though, just not as serious...first time ive thought of it was when i was 13, which is way to young to be thinking of that kind of shit...in fact, you should never think of it, or attempt to do it, its stupid...i dont even know why i think about it...yeah my life is considerably shitty for me, but i can get through it, right?? right now, my one love is writing...without id be a dead man...ive said before: ive got a severe anxiety disorder that is shit to live with, and im having a difficult fucking time in college....things that remove me from my problems are my music, graf, and driving...i love driving, even if its to nowhere....im always working handstyles which are my favorite aspect of graf...and i love music...those things alone are worth living for....at least in my case...and depression runs in the family unfortunately, my dad has depression problems, and i have them...we both can relate to eachother, so thats good...

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Umm this only happened about 6 months ago. When my girlfriend broke up with her ex to go out with me we were seriously the happiest couple in the world.. he kind of like vanished off the scene and I was stoked coz he was out of the way.. then, some months later on the Monday morning after our first weekend in our new apartment she rings me in hysterics saying that her ex had shot himself in the head (fatally) at his parents house in one of the rooms.. the c*nt even left a note for her and sh*t. So what followed was 6 months of absolute hell.. she was like a zombie. Blamed herself for not saving him and me for whatever reasons. It destroyed her. Uncontrollable tears for months after..the whole deal.. how we are still together I do not know but she has changed SO much as a person because of this that I cannot see things lasting for much longer (she's going overseas for a year anyway..) She has gone from being a happy, carefree extremely loving person to a narcissic (sp?) sarcastic, self centred person... her priorities have changed from us buying a house together and sh*t to just f*cking off overseas maybe for good..I would go so far as saying she is now 'ruined' as a person..and all because old mate couldn't hack the fact that he lost his girl to a better man (he treated her like shit for years..)

 

Shit, if you knew the repercussions of something like this... I swear if he was still alive I would have gone over there and pulled the trigger myself....

 

now I've got to start ANOTHER new life..

 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck :(

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Guest i create destruction

i had depression. i still have days where i'm sad, frustrated,etc., but i just think suicide is a pussy way out. i take my frustrations out on public property.

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avils...i remember you writing about your girl going across the sea to find herself or whatnot...

I think a couple times I have thought to myself....if I died and i left them a note think how guilty they would feel. Not really meaning it or anything but I always saw movies and shit where people do that and it messes up the other persons life.. I think the worst part is that she blamed you or put shit on you. I really was just amazed by your story, cause it is the first actual repercussions of suicide story I have heard. I've heard of people knowing people who die and their depression, but never the aftershocks from the people affected. I'm sure it was pretty hard for you to tell us all that...maybe it wasn't, either way, i appreiciate it.

frink applauds you

and wishes you good luck

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Originally posted by i create destruction

i had depression. i still have days where i'm sad, frustrated,etc., but i just think suicide is a pussy way out. i take my frustrations out on public property.

"pussy was out"? instead of making such a blanket statement that is fairly hollow and geared towards "I wreck shit" why don't you elaborate and enlighten us on why suicide is PUSSY...

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Guest BROWNer

man...suicide is a tough one. i've never thought about it in a serious manner, nor

do i think i'll ever be so low...............but.....i can say i would never judge someone

for something so serious....becuz i can't conceive of doing it to myself....nor could i purport to know someone else's pain...or call them a 'cunt' cuz of it.......or say it was a 'pussy way out'...that shit is fuckin' straight up herb............keep your mouth shut with that off the cuff, speak before you think, too hardcore for hardcore toy ass shit...

 

there's an old and somewhat cliche phrase...you don't know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. the older you get, the more apt this saying is.

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Originally posted by BROWNer

or call them a 'cunt' cuz of it.......or say it was a 'pussy way out'...that shit is fuckin' straight up herb............keep your mouth shut...

there's an old and somewhat cliche phrase...you don't know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. the older you get, the more apt this saying is.

 

Yo I'll say whatever the fuck I want about the dude because I knew him and have first hand experience of what followed.. why don't YOU keep YOUR fucken mouth shut 'herb' and walk a mile in MY shoes..

 

"too hardcore for hardcore toy ass shit"... dude you be the one speaking without thinking... fucken faggot.

 

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

 

EDITED coz that post pissed me off so much that I added some more to my reply...

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i would consider it if something altered my life in a big way..such as paralized or something that i could never recover from, but for depression or mental health i dont see myself taking my life as an answer...ever see that movie "what dreams my come"??

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Guest BROWNer

....eh..

sorry man, i don't know your sitch...

..i'm still sticking with the gist of my

point though...

 

edited cuz of the edit:

'fucken faggot'..............smooth.

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Guest i create destruction

suicide is "pussy" because everybody has fucked up shit happen to them and we don't all kill ourselves over it. everybody's life sucks. suicide is "pussy" because whether we realize it or not we have people that care about us and depend on us and would be devastated by us taking our own lives. the reason we wake up every morning, reproduce, and raise our children is because of a natural will to survive. if you don't even have that you are "pussy." we all need to quit feeling so sorry for ourselves. at least we're not the kid from the wheelchair thread. isn't it PROFESSOR krink? and i don't wreck shit, i'm a toy.

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Guest BROWNer

i'll say it again....i don't know how anyone can purport to know the depth

of ones pain in a suicide situation and casually define them as a 'pussy'.

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Guest BROWNer

shit...avils: my initial post was more geared towards the 'pussy' comment...not so much yours...i don't know your particular situation whatsoever..sorry if i came off really harsh...i hope you can objectify the comment and see it for what i meant it to be in an overall sense... i personally have had 2 friends kill themselves, so i do have a bit of experience with it.......with that said, i still feel the same.

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Re: Don't Try It

 

Originally posted by Smart

listen to Queen instead, 2 of my friends left a hole on successive Halloweens, October is a hard month for me...

this may be a question i am out of line to ask, but, apart from missing them, were you mad at them? I guess I have just heard of people being so mad at people that kill themselves....i don't know if those are misplaced emotions or real ones

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Originally posted by BROWNer

shit...avils: my initial post was more geared towards the 'pussy' comment...not so much yours...i don't know your particular situation whatsoever..sorry if i came off really harsh...i hope you can objectify the comment and see it for what i meant it to be in an overall sense... i personally have had 2 friends kill themselves, so i do have a bit of experience with it.......with that said, i still feel the same.

 

My problem isn't so much with your opinion but the way you expressed it. As you said, we don't know each other's personal predicaments so it's kind of hard to converse intelligently on these topics.. I guess my initial post was more of a "vent" for me than an actual helpful reply for Frink..I just had some shit that I wanted to get out there.

 

peace.

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Re: Re: Don't Try It

 

Originally posted by dr. frink one

this may be a question i am out of line to ask, but, apart from missing them, were you mad at them? I guess I have just heard of people being so mad at people that kill themselves....i don't know if those are misplaced emotions or real ones

 

yeah, I guess I was for a while... I've actually been thinking of doing a tribute to my tightest homeboy, who called me a left a bland message a week before he did it. I was living out of state.

 

but, yeah, I was mad, I guess I am mad, I thought about Jamie, 'you coulda left more than a mark, you coulda left a dent, instead you left a hole'

 

on the flip side, his brother was running late for work on 9/11... that's the only reason we still have Jon Jon, so...

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Originally posted by i create destruction

suicide is "pussy" because everybody has fucked up shit happen to them and we don't all kill ourselves over it. everybody's life sucks. suicide is "pussy" because whether we realize it or not we have people that care about us and depend on us and would be devastated by us taking our own lives. the reason we wake up every morning, reproduce, and raise our children is because of a natural will to survive. if you don't even have that you are "pussy." we all need to quit feeling so sorry for ourselves. at least we're not the kid from the wheelchair thread. isn't it PROFESSOR krink? and i don't wreck shit, i'm a toy.

 

see, the problem with this logic is it doesnt apply to most people who commit suicide. the majority arent like "I got fired, evicted, and my girlfriend dumped me, I'm gonna kill myself" most are suffering from some clinical form of depression. It affects how you see and feel about everything. it can lock you in a total sense of hopelessness that eventually makes suicide seem like the right way out....

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frink...you picked a good time to post this topic. A good friend of mine almost commited suicide on Monday night. I was talking to him online and he said "what would you do, if you never heard form me again" I started to realize that he was almost ready to kill himself. He said he had been having a really bad time the past few months. When I was chatting with him that night he signed off out of the blue. I was so freaked out I had to e-mail him, but I had to say something worth while...This is what I wrote:

 

Internal conflict drives us all. We cannot get away from it, but we can learn from it. Just because ONE person gets us down, drives us crazy, or doesn't understand us; doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way. We can only learn from the mistakes we've made and from what others have made.

To dwell in the past is to wallow in sorrow. You can leave it all behind, but you can't bring it all back. And if you could bring it all back, would you want to?

I've lived a hard life for many years, and i'm only twenty. I can only imagine what will happen in the rest of my existance. Although, I can tell you this. These past few years have opened up for me. Not so much spritually, physically, or even sexually. Within these past few years I have grown mentally. Not from any high school or college. All I had to do was look around me everyday. I started to see things i've never noticed before. Something beyond beauty, beyond love, beyond life. I don't know what it is, but I see it all the time.

I've always been a thinker. Often times I simply prefer to sit and take in all of my surroundings. Yes, I do recall past memories and often I think about the present and future. Most people ask me what I'm thinking when they see me staring off into oblivion. All I can say is "Oh, nothing." Why? It's far too hard for me to tell them about how I really feel and what I really see. I suppose some people just couldn't comprehend it. I only hope you can unterstand.

Live for the moment, don't ever regret.

 

He wrote back to me the next day and said he changed his mind after reading.

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Guest HESHIANDET

i don't want to really get into this but i think theres some good dialog going on here. i have been at the edge, i chose to stick around. i go in and out of depression sometimes, i dunno what it is. the thing i find really intersting is in the few times this topic has come up on the board, is the amount of us (writers) that have either suffered from depression, or considered suicide. maybe one of the chemicals in paint is effecting the happy part of our brains.

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all this honesty, im so pleased....

 

 

if not for my family, and my mom in specific, im sure i would have atleast tried at some point. but no matter how bad i got, and ive been pretty bad, i knew that i couldnt do that to her. i knew she would be destroyed. there were times when i hated her for loving me, because i felt like that was a trap... that if not for her love, and the guilt it would cause me to kill myself, i would have done it... i mean, how fucked up is that, to hate someone because they love you? man... depression does some serious shit to your head. it makes you completely forget who you are and what matters to you... this is indeed a good topic, and one that i think applies to more people than just us. now a days its a rare kid that makes it through adolescence and doesnt become depressed or suicidal. the world is fucked up an getting worse, welcome to the future... let this be a lesson for you when raising kids...

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Guest usedtolove

if it were not for my moms.and lil sister,and grandmother..i would have ended it along time ago,because to me life..isnt worth it...

and i care alot about my mother ,and she would with out a doubt flip out and my family would never be the same....if i killed myself..so until they are not around anymore,im still gonna be doing my thing .

but i find from the perspective of the person killing themselves,that it is a beautiful thing....andi have many ideas about this subject,i just do not feel like going into them right now..:)

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