rubbish heap Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 things you have to believe to be a republican today: > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of > homosexuals > and Hillary Clinton. > > Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad > guy > when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when > Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush > needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion. > > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is > Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital > to a spirit of international harmony. > > The United States should get out of the United > Nations, and our highest national priority is > enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq. > > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her > own > body, but multi-national corporations can make > decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. > > The best way to improve military morale is to praise > the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' > benefits and combat pay. > > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents > won't > have sex. > > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our > long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and > money. > > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. > > HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests > of the public at heart. > > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk > science, but creationism should be taught in > schools. > > A president lying about an extramarital affair is a > impeachable offense. > > A president lying to enlist support for a war in > which > thousands die is solid defense policy. > > Government should limit itself to the powers named > in > the Constitution, which include banning gay > marriages > and censoring the Internet. > > The public has a right to know about Hillary's > cattle > trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of > our business. > > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, > unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's > an > illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. > > You support states' rights, which means Attorney > General John Ashcroft can tell states what local > voter > initiatives they have the right to adopt. > > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital > national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is > irrelevant. > > Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to > at > least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with > Bush for 4 more years. > > Friends don't let friends vote Republican. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by rubbish heap Friends don't let friends vote Republican. Nuff Said.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panic Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 im not american, but i still laughed.:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIPPINJUICE Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 "Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery." haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 That was dope. I laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GamblersGrin Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by rubbish heap > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. a lot of good ones in there. seriously though, why do the republicans have such a fixation w/ the clintons??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 I PASSSSSSED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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