One Man Banned Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 wanna come over & smell my finger? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Only if I can pull it first 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 Goners gonna gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 On 5/4/2020 at 11:04 AM, Schnitzel said: i hate this song and I'll tell you why When I was 16 my mate and I went to Kings Cross to go to Stripperama which we had on good authority was the best strip club to visit. get ourselves positioned in the 2nd row ( don't want to get too close we'll look too keen) we're expecting some total babe to come on in and set the scene. Instead Billy Ocean rings out through the speakers and a lumpy, stretchmarked, very flappy fannied, bleached blonde junkie comes out the side door and does a really shit routine to this song. she wasn't wearing much so it didn't take long. Then she pulls the guy in the front row up on stage ( thank god for being in the second row) and yanks his pants down and tries to give him a BJ but he's too pissed. she kicks him off stage and walks off. We think "fuck this" and leave to pink pussycat up the road. Get in there take our seats ready for the next show and Billy ocean comes on again and the same stripper steps out again. She does her routine and walks off (pink pussy cat is a bit classier) then some horny cunt pays the dj some money and the lights go down and boom! she comes up again. My friend and I are both peaking because this is shit but we'll laugh about later so we decide to hold on for one more girl. Clock is ticking down to next girl then the lights come on and the police walk in to check for alcohol since it's. not a licenced venue or something. They see us and instantly single us out ask for ID which of course we don't have because we're underage and take us outside ready to call parents before letting us go with threats follow up during the week We walk home at 12am with no money, and worse no decent strippers seen... But at least we hard get outta my dreams get into my car three times in 90 minutes. Randiom thought: was it necessary type that out TL:DR shit stripper to this rountine ruined schnitzel night back in 1990 @ndv why i never understood the strip club thing 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndv Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 3 minutes ago, Schnitzel said: @ndv why i never understood the strip club thing Now I see your point. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 I got 3 nuts and they bounce back & forth like this when I walk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 ever have to eat quick, then find yourself having to do physical activity like running, and your stomach reacts like you just told it to process and dispose of everything asap? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndv Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 Just can't seem to tolerate mission impossible movie series. Its the stunts so farfetched it has me thinking Hollywood so much I cannot get past it to enjoy the storyline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 Might have a stomach ulcer fuck getting old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tails0nE Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 why do people stress themselves out even more when theyre already stressed as it is..? why put extra unnecessary pressure on yourself when you cant even handle daily tasks..? only to end up bitching and complaining about the situation you willingly put yourself in only to sarcastically say you're grateful and blessed but only for all the negative that has happened to you instead of the actual good..? how about shuttingthefuckuponceinawhileyoustupidfuck..? basically, girlfriends suck... *MorningRantOver* 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Paul blart mall cop should be playing 24/7 at the Smithsonian, as an indictment on society 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 Paul blart is death wish meets citizen kane if you don’t respect that your whole perspective is wack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 Started to get annoyed w/ people in the supermarket today. May have been better to practice some mindfulness and acceptance but instead decided to make a game of dropping random items into unattended carts. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndv Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 ^^ that is golden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 Gotta rating: 3 1/2 stars LIKE HACK: I save the plastic tops of takeout containers, if they’re clean, to shoot on when I jack off so I can weigh it. Keeping a journal is one of the most satisfying things a person can do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 National lampoons Vegas vacation is a movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tails0nE Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 idk what the fuck has been up with my stomach but i've been having some SERIOUS gas.. farted last night at like 2am that was so foul it even woke my girl up.. she got up and left the room pissed even i had to dip cause it was so pungent.. shit was so strong it stayed in the room for like 8 minutes and even followed me a little bit to the other room which pissed off my girl even more... i regret nothing..💨 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 imagine being a turtle with an itchy butt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 8 hours ago, Schnitzel said: imagine being a turtle with an itchy butt If my poop's a turtle he's about to come out of his shell 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 a bed that you can piss into a hole in it while laying on your stomach that is hooked up to the plumbing and doesnt smell 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 1 hour ago, where said: a bed that you can piss into a hole in it while laying on your stomach that is hooked up to the plumbing and doesnt smell Or jars within throwing distance of an open window 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 18 minutes ago, One Man Banned said: Or jars within throwing distance of an open window whoa slow down richie rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 7 minutes ago, where said: whoa slow down richie rich I'm actually working on a similar bed design that you can poop into. I call it the Crapmatic Adjustable Bed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 adjustable fold out sofa/1/2b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 17 minutes ago, One Man Banned said: I'm actually working on a similar bed design that you can poop into. I call it the Crapmatic Adjustable Bed. You can actually just shit in any bed. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 5 hours ago, mr.yuck said: You can actually just shit in any bed. More than once, in the same night even! The real question tho is do you have someone to clean you up afterward? That's high level poopin right there. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elena Delle Donne Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 17 hours ago, mr.yuck said: You can actually just shit in any bed. many people are saying this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Never underestimate eggs and toast 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 4 minutes ago, nicklesndimes said: getting fckin cold out here That’s what we get for all that beautiful weather a lil bit ago. I thinks it’s well timed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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