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Guest beardo

haha this site is rad

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Guest beardo

http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/

 

 

There's nothing more disgusting than the sight, smell

and sound of someone eating Doritos

 

http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/dorito1.jpg'>

 

I saw a new brand of Doritos the other day called "EXTREME DORITOS." What the hell were they thinking? As if anyone eating "EXTREME DORITOS" isn't going to be some greasy fatass nerd with skid marks in his underwear, they market these chips using healthy athletic models that get laid all the time. The problem is that people who eat Doritos NEVER GET LAID.

 

It was bad enough that they tried to market "3D" Doritos with "the three-dimensional taste sensation that's making waves across the country," but now we have to put up with more in-your-face extreme DO-THE-DEW morons on TV who are trying to make a bag of smelly chips look cool by jumping off a cliff (not that I'm against people jumping off of cliffs, I'm all for it as long as their necks break). One of the main reasons I don't eat Doritos is because I like my corn chips @!#$ free. They market these 3D chips as being new and intense.. as opposed to their regular 2D chips?

 

What they really need to start marketing is an "EXTREME SHUT THE HELL UP" brand of Doritos that contains the bubonic plague in every bag. That will solve two problems at once: 1. No more lame Doritos commercials and 2. No more child molesters since only child molesters eat Doritos anyway. Holy @!#$.. that's a good idea. I should be king.

 

forgot the link..

 

[This message has been edited by beardo (edited 09-20-2001).]

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Guest fr8lover

dude i dont think you know how eerie it is to be munching on a bag of nacho cheese doritos and see that picture pop up on my screen...

 

im dumbfounded.

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Guest beardo

http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/music_cool2.gif'>

 

Listening to cool music makes you cool.

 

Does turning a radio on in public mean everyone should gather their dumbasses around and start throwing frisbies? Apparently so. I was at school the other day, minding my own damn business when some dipshit running for student body president drove his jeep onto campus and started playing music really loud, passing out flyers. An hour later, they were still at it, except now they had a basketball standard setup and a posse of morons standing around. Why the hell was the music turned on? What's the point? People weren't dancing. They weren't singing along. They were just standing around with their thumbs up their asses.

 

Why play music in public? Do people think that by listening to cool music, they become cool? Do they think that the music is an extension of themselves? Do they think that everyone in the universe likes that shitty two-note one-man R&B bullshit? Please. Turn that shit off and go to class. Nobody cares about you or your dumbass student elections that won't be worth wiping your ass with 3 years from now.

 

I just don't get the whole basketball thing. If you're going to play the game, then play.. but what's the point of making baskets over and over with loud music playing in the background? Nobody's keeping score, the outcome of the shot couldn't possibly matter to anyone or anything in the universe; what's the point? It's not fun. Period.

 

What's the mentality of these people??? "Okay, here I go.. I'm going to shoot for the basket... there are two possible outcomes. The first is that I make it, the second is that I miss. I'm really intrigued by the potential here, so I think I'll do it for the next 3 hours and see if anything unexpected happens." Please. Cut it out asshole, put your shirt back on and go play in traffic. People are the worst.

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Guest HESHIANDET

what we have here is a case of hippie anxiety syndrome. said hippie has moved from his social dwelling to a cave else where. Hippies new dwelling has no means of communication with the outside world. therefore when he introduces himself to the world everyday he is angry and biter. it also doesn't help that hippie is stuck in the back of room at work at the hands of a merciless indian slave driver...... everyone pray for the hippie

 

------------------

stonecutters#1

_ -o

-_<,

(*)/'(*)

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that is fucking halarious.....put it on my favorites list....

 

------------------

brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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...oh yeah i know, and it is funny, but i think its funnier if i imagine this kid, a stereotyped hippie with a big head(its the cartoon image that warps my perception), on the street ranting like a mad man...grabbing someones doritos outta their hands and beating them senseless with it...r

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i like this one the best:

 

 

The next person who tells me

"You're never fully dressed without a smile"

gets my foot up their ass..

 

 

I don't smile anymore.. I'm through smiling. I AM NEVER GOING TO SMILE EVER AGAIN. People who tell me to smile are put on my shit-list permanently. I read the phrase "smile, it'll make someone's day brighter" the other day. Why the hell would I want to make someone's day brighter? Why should I waste any of my valuable time being an asshole when I can flip someone off, kick a dog or litter instead?

 

The only reason to ever smile is to mock someone. For example, when someone trips and falls; I laugh my ass off because that's some good shit. There's nothing more satisfying than making someone feel bad about themselves. Of course, there's always a group of pussies that run up and say "are you okay? Are you hurt?" Go to hell you insincere pieces of shit.

 

I've never tripped in my life, ever, but if I did I'd expect people to laugh at me for being a dumbass. Of course, I'd go around and gouge everyone's eyes out with my thumb after I got back up, but that's besides the point. The important thing to remember is that there is no reason to smile.

 

Some asshole at work the other day told me "you're never fully dressed without a smile." This set off my bullshit alarm. It's like that stupid phrase "everything I need to know I learned in kindergarden." Oh really? Apparently you didn't learn that everything written on inspirational posters is horse shit for mindless corporate ass kissing morons who wear suits and ties to work for the next 30 years so they can retire off of their shitty 401K plan and pay for some spoiled ungrateful bratt to go through school while they sit back and rott in front of countless Suddenly Susans until they finally become another unmemorable, faceless nobody in an obituary after their 70 year existence, while their dipshit kids having gone through college with their heads up their asses for 3 years, still not knowing what the hell their major is, sign up for some class that someone who knows what they're doing needs but can't take because there aren't any more seats so they get tired of being dicked around and drop out of college only to work for another shitty telecommunications company with MORE BULLSHIT INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS HANGING ON THE WALLS EVERWHERE WE LOOK, BEING SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS UNTIL THE DAY WE DIE.

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I appreciate and respect your agression. But to channel your beef at Doritos just makes me laugh.(and thats not a bad thing)I can relate to your wanting to hurt your fellow classmates(dumbass's please dont pull the Columbine card here)Soooooooo, Go get em Beardo!

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Guest Ginger Bread Man

hahahhahahahahahahaha...damn beardo settle down.

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Guest beardo

My neighbor's kids were pissing me off, so I ate them.

 

 

I was sitting home the other day, staring at the wall when I heard my neighbor's kids playing outside. I got pissed off and opened my window and found a group of kids playing grab ass. I started yelling at them and shaking my fists in the air. The kids started to laugh, so I went inside to get my shovel.

 

When I came outside they started to run off, so I chased after them with my shovel but I couldn't keep up and I almost had a heart attack (which would have pissed me off even more, but at least if I died, I'd have become an evil spirit that haunts children). The next day I bought a bear trap and set it outside my house. That evening when I was eating vegetarians, I heard the bear trap clamp one of the kids. I ran outside and found my neighbor's kid trapped in the clamp, so I took him inside and ate him.

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Guest beardo

yes.

 

 

Everyone is stupid except for me.

 

 

I was taking a test in my math class the other day when this dumb bitch in front of me got up and asked the professor how to do a problem on the test. She has a pretty nasty smile, which has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but it was pissing me off so I thought I'd mention it. Anyway, back to how stupid she is. During the test, she got up at least 8 times to ask the professor for help with her test; she even asked how to do the same problem twice.

 

I could have sworn I heard the professor muttering "you dumb bitch" under his breath as she walked away, but then I realized it was just me. If I was the professor, I'd have answered her question with a jab to the kidney. "Sit down dumbass," I'd have said, as I kicked her rotund ass back to her seat.

 

All throughout the test, one moron after another got up and asked the professor stupid questions. By the way, the next time I hear someone say "there's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid people" they're going to get a mouth full of my foot. I'm tired of people and their clever little sayings. Stupid questions do exist. For example, any question directed towards me starting with the words "why should I..." The answer is always: because I said so, asshole. Also, I'm pretty damn sick of these stupid game shows titled with rhetorical questions. They should make a new game show called "Who Wants To Avoid Pissing Me Off," a show in which contestants compete with each other to avoid pissing me off, which only pisses me off more and I end up ripping everyone a new asshole at the end of the show. Everyone is a loser on my game show.

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