The Nonsense thread

[Newer Bigger Better]

my sage advice is aplicable to all toilets public or not, smart ass. but now that you mention it i do have more wisdom to share. when dealing with such lengthy solid logs such as cheetos bag guy you want to be patient and minimize the amount of seperate turd logs in favor of one big turd log. should cheetos guy have been properly positioned on the toilet that abnormally long turd of his would have barely resulted in a splash at all. this is because once the tip of the log breaks the water the rest will enter the water without incident. if he had gotten impatient and only shat out a little bit at a time each turdlet would have resulted in major splashes, in conclusion, patience timing and preparedness are key to not soiling yourself with your own urine/shit water.

 

less breaks also result in less use of toilet paper. the more you pinch off the more doo doo is going to end up on your butt. and you run the risk of pinching off too soon, and not being able to force the last bit out do to it's lack of weight. Which leads to half the toilet paper roll being used and possible chafing.

[Drue_Down]

[MOOGLE?]

[Master Shake]

less breaks also result in less use of toilet paper. the more you pinch off the more doo doo is going to end up on your butt. and you run the risk of pinching off too soon, and not being able to force the last bit out do to it's lack of weight. Which leads to half the toilet paper roll being used and possible chafing.

 

poop sage is amused

[MOOGLE?]

[Lew Blum]

Aggressive.com - Inline Skating

 

A place for booters to hang, swap stories, pics, videos, and share random skating stuff. Set up a profile, post a pic or video, and just hang...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"booters"

 

"hang"

[Lew Blum]

Uploaded by extremeworld on Dec 1, 2009

Aggressive inline skating taken to the extreme against an urban inner city landscape.

Category:

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[r1char]

 

 

 

 

[Crocodile Tears]

[MOOGLE?]

http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/13797771/hubby_popped_a_boner_while_rubbing_my_feet

[KM4RT]

[tae]

hahahah

crocodile tears.....

[MOOGLE?]

http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1DVCL_enUS374US374&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=rubbing+pops

 

 

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_pop_your_cherry_by_just_rubbing_yourself_in_masturbation

 

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101111095302AANx27v

 

 

http://www.facepunch.com/threads/903463-dad-just-drank-rubbing-alcohol..

[MOOGLE?]

Flux capacitor

The flux capacitor, which consisted of a regularly squared compartment with three flashing Geissler style-tubes (arranged in a "Y" configuration), was described by Doc as "what makes time travel possible." The device is the core component of the time machine.[1]

The device was located between the headrests of the rear seats and, as the time machine neared 88 mph, light coming from the flux capacitor began pulsing (or as Marty said in the first movie, "fluxing") more rapidly until it became a steady stream. Doc originally conceived the idea for the flux capacitor on November 5, 1955 when he slipped and hit his head on his bathroom sink while standing on the toilet to hang a clock.[1] He presumably worked for the next 30 years acquiring materials and working out the theories of what eventually became the DeLorean time machine in 1985. A similar, but more primitive, flux capacitor is also seen in the front of Doc's second time machine, the Time Train, at the end of Back to the Future Part III.[3]

Although the films do not describe exactly how the flux capacitor works, Doc mentions at one point that the stainless steel body of the DeLorean has a direct and influential effect on the "flux dispersal," but he is interrupted before he can finish the explanation.[1] The flux capacitor requires 1.21 gigawatts of electrical power to operate,[1] equal to 1,210,000,000 watts which, to give a sense of scale, is approximately the output of a single pressurized water reactor at a nuclear power plant.

In the instruction manual for the AMT/ERTL Delorean model kit it says: "Because the car's stainless steel body improves the flux dispersal generated by the flux capacitor, and this in turn allows the vehicle smooth passage through the space time continuum."[verification needed]

[edit]Mr. Fusion

The Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor is the name of a power source used by the DeLorean time machine in the Back to the Future trilogy. It can be seen at the end of Back to the Future when "Doc" Emmett Brown pulls into the McFlys' driveway after a trip to the year 2015, and is an obvious parody of Mr. Coffee machines, which were very popular at the time of filming.[citation needed] The appliance from which the prop was made was actually a Krups "Coffina" model coffee grinder.

The Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor converts household waste to power for the time machine's flux capacitor and time circuits using nuclear fusion (specifically cold fusion). In the film, Mr. Fusion allows the DeLorean time machine to generate the required 1.21 gigawatts needed to travel to any point in time. The energy produced by Mr. Fusion replaces plutonium as the primary power source of the DeLorean's time travel and flight capabilities, allowing the characters to bypass the arduous power-generation requirements upon which the plot of the first film hinged.[1][2] It is never mentioned what Doc Brown did with the remaining plutonium, or if he used it all during unseen trips after he leaves Marty near the end of Back to the Future.

When the DeLorean is parked in a 2015 alleyway, a "Fusion Industries" machine is briefly seen.[2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cenobite (Hellraiser)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hellraiser characters

 

Cenobites

In-story information

Race: Former humans

Primary location: "The Labyrinth"/Hell

Leader: Pinhead

Development information

Creator: Clive Barker

First appearance: The Hellbound Heart

Last appearance: Hellraiser: Hellworld

The Cenobites are extradimensional beings who appear in the works of Clive Barker, including the novella The Hellbound Heart and the eight Hellraiser films. They are also mentioned, in passing, in the novel Weaveworld. They are mentioned by Immacolata, who calls them “The Surgeons.”

They can reach Earth's reality only through a schism in time and space, which is opened and closed using certain unearthly artifacts. The most common form for these artifacts is that of an innocuous-looking puzzle box called the Lament Configuration.

The Cenobites vary in number, appearance, and motivations depending on the medium (film, comic book, etc.) in which they appear. The involvement of multiple parties in the production of Hellraiser films and comics (many eschewing the creative supervision of Clive Barker) have led to varying levels of consistency regarding the canonical aspects of their philosophies and abilities.

Contents [hide]

1 Etymology

2 Concept and design

3 Description

3.1 Hellraiser comic book series

4 Powers and abilities in the films

5 In written works

6 Comic stories

7 Film series

8 Tortured Souls

9 Notes

[edit]Etymology

 

The term cenobite is a word meaning "a member of a communal religious order". They are also referred to as Hierophants.

[edit]Concept and design

 

After being disappointed with the way his material had been treated by producers in Underworld, Barker wrote The Hellbound Heart as his first step in directing a film by himself. After securing funding in early 1986, Barker and his producer Chris Figg assembled a team to design the cenobites. Among the team was Bob Keen and Geoff Portass at Image Animation and Jane Wildgoose, a costume designer who was requested to make a series of costumes for 4-5 'super-butchers' while refining the scarification designs with Image Animation.[1]

"My notes say that he wanted ‘1. areas of revealed flesh where some kind of torture has, or is occurring. 2. something associated with butchery involved’ and then here we have a very Clive turn of phrase, I’ve written down, ‘repulsive glamour.’ And the other notes that I made about what he wanted was that they should be ‘magnificent super-butchers’. There would be one or two of them with some ‘hangers on’ as he put it, and that there would be four or five altogether.”

—Jane Wildgoose on Resurrection, Documentary on the Anchor Bay Hellraiser DVD, 2000[1]

Barker drew inspiration for the cenobite designs from punk fashion, Catholicism and by the visits he took to S & M clubs in New York and Amsterdam.[1]

[edit]Description

 

The Cenobites all have horrific mutilations and/or body piercings, and wear fetishistic black leather clothing that often resembles butchery garments or religious vestments. The clothing also serves to support their piercings and tools. According to The Hellbound Heart, the cenobitic community to which they belong is called The Order of the Gash. The Cenobites practice, with a religious devotion, a supernatural form of hedonism, manifested through the expansion of sensation to an extremely painful point of sensory overload, and enduring excruciating pain through incessant tortures that transcend traditional laws of physics. Their leader is identified only as The Engineer, who in addition to overseeing the Order is also responsible for the transformation of individuals into Cenobites.

The religious aspects of their origins and motivations are ambiguous: despite the presence of the word "Hell" in the franchise, the initial entries in the series-- The Hellbound Heart and Hellraiser-- eschew any overt reference or iconography linking the Cenobites to any traditional Abrahamic or Eastern depiction of damnation, demonic nature, or Infernal origin; the Cenobites' form of "pleasure," and the realm in which they practice it, is simply so awful that it appears to be Hell to those unable to endure it. In Hellraiser, the lead Cenobite informs Kirsty Cotton that the Cenobites have been identified as both angels and demons by those they have encountered, and that the Cenobites merely see themselves as "explorers." They are completely amoral, their dedication to their lifestyle taking priority over any notions of right or wrong.

When the series became franchised, the philosophical motivations of the Cenobites began to change with time and medium. Although the film adaptation of The Hellbound Heart (Hellraiser) is largely faithful to the novella, its depiction of the Cenobites is slightly more sinister. Notably, the climax of the film revolves around the Cenobites' attempt to renege on their bargain with Kirsty Cotton to take her Uncle Frank in exchange for her; in the novella, the Cenobites honored the arrangement. Additionally, the Engineer is changed in the film from an individual resembling an average human male to a giant monster that appears to be an amalgamation of various predatory animals.

As the film and comic books series progressed, the Cenobites--particularly Pinhead--began to manifest traditionally evil and sinister traits, due likely in part to an attempt to streamline them into a more mainstream characterization of horror archetypes. In Hellbound: Hellraiser II, The Cenobites are revealed to be humans who solved the Lament Configuration and were converted into cenobites by the deity of Hell due to their natures and talents acquired on Earth; Pinhead was revealed to be a World War I British military officer named Elliot Spencer, who was likely chosen due to his leadership skills. Hell itself was characterized as a giant labyrinth (apparently modeled on M.C. Escher's Relativity) governed by Leviathan: an abstract, ambiguously sentient god that takes the form of a giant, floating silver lozenge at the center of the labyrinth.

In Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth and Hellraiser: Bloodline all references to the Cenobitic order and their devotion to hedonism were completely expurgated. Pinhead became a purely evil demon intent on the conquest of Earth and the subjugation of all humans. By the emergence of Hellraiser: Bloodline, Pinhead began to resemble the classic embodiment of a supervillain with more ambitious plans of global domination, as well as a revolutionary figure in a retconned history of Hell that abandoned the original foundation of the novella for a merging with traditional Christian interpretation; a crucial subplot to Bloodline centers on the premise that Hell has undergone a revolution in the past and has abandoned the traditional Boschian concept of itself for a more austere, militant embodiment of pain and torment. Hellraiser: Inferno revised the Hellraiser universe as a morality tale, and utilized the Cenobites as punitive agents of evil. In Hellraiser: Hellseeker, the Cenobites function more as passive antagonists with a more Faustian agenda.

It should be noted that at least two franchise entries, notably the seventh and eighth installments (Hellraiser: Deader and Hellraiser: Hellworld respectively) initially began as uninvolved scripts that were adapted and re-written as Hellraiser sequels by the controlling parties.

[edit]Hellraiser comic book series

In 1989, following the success of the Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser II, Epic Comics began publishing series of comic book spin-offs for the Hellraiser franchise. The comics contained a set of short stories, with Clive Barker acting as a consultant on all of the comics. Epic published twenty regular series comics, from 1989 to 1992.

The comic book series largely adopted a narrative structure similar to The Twilight Zone with ironic twists to accentuate the impact of the ending, and retained continuity with the second film. However, a series of recurring Cenobite characters were created and a unifying agenda carried many intermittent and continuing story arcs throughout the run. Although Pinhead was one of these recurring characters, his presence was eclipsed by a number of other prominent Cenobites (particularly one known as "Hunger" due to his cachetic appearance) who acted as antagonists and protagonists. In the comics, Hell was depicted as a power working against opposing, humanistic deities in a conflict of philosophies regarding otherworldly concepts of order and chaos. Although never expounded upon by their writers with any definite clarity, the philosophy held by Hell and its god Leviathan is depicted as a militant belief in "order" that finds the humanistic aspects of flesh to be a hindrance/obstacle to it; apparently, suffering is viewed as having a cosmic, universal truth and importance to this order, and the Cenobites' concepts of pleasure and application of it through torture are seen as bringing order to the flesh. The conflict between Leviathan and its enemies are manifested at times as war, propaganda campaigns, or by individual victories characterized by obtaining new victims.

[edit]Powers and abilities in the films

 

 

This section may contain original research. Please improve it by verifying the claims made and adding references. Statements consisting only of original research may be removed. More details may be available on the talk page. (January 2011)

The Cenobites possess certain abilities unique to their own individual natures and appearances, but they do possess universal traits but in varying strength. They are separated from Earth by a dimensional rift called The Schism, which cannot be traversed without a dimensional bridge such as the Lament Configuration. They are bound by the pliable physics of their home dimension, which gives them the abilities of teleportation and remote viewing when present on Earth, but they are restricted in their use of it; the Cenobites cannot come to Earth without the aid of the Lament Configuration, and can only remain for the duration of their summoning. Once they have taken the person who has summoned them, they must return. The Cenobites have no reservations about the circumstances concerning the person who summons them, but they can distinguish if the person who summoned them is the one who physically opened the box or if the summoner is merely a tool or an instrument of coercion. The box itself can be solved in two main fashions, one of which allows them to open the gateway from Hell, and a more complex method which can physically open the dimensional gateway from Earth.

Their powers manifest primarily in forms of telekinesis, and can snatch objects from people; but this power is primarily used to manifest lengths of chain from the fathoms of their native realm to ensnare and rend their victims into pieces. The Cenobites have a limited ability over death: victims taken alive can be tortured to the point of total discorporation and reconstituted indefinitely if taken alive, but they cannot resurrect a person who has died by hands other than their own. They have demonstrated resilience to injury and pain, as well as an ability to shapeshift in both the comics and later film sequels.

[edit]In written works

 

The Hellbound Heart

The Scarlet Gospels

Hellraiser Comic Series

[edit]Comic stories

 

Canons of Pain

Grillard Cenobite—An ancient Cenobite at the time of the crusades; his weapon of choice is Hell’s “Spears.”

Dead Things Rot

Clown Cenobite—Sometimes referred to as “Winky Dink”; a permanently smiling Cenobite dressed in black, in life he was a TV Clown on the Mr Winky Dink Show.

Original Sin

Bright Eyes & The Voice—Twin sisters, one with her mouth barred shut and the other with her eyes removed.

Under the Knife

Saucy Jack—Cenobite version of Jack the Ripper who committed murders in Victorian London to get into Hell.

Demons to Some, Angels to Others

Legion —Bloated Cenobite with four heads, summoned by the Genesis Revelation.

The Devil's Brigade Part 18: Reckoning

Griot Cenobite—Obese cenobite who tattoos the history of Hell upon his body.

Praetor Abatur—The judge of hell who tried in vain to turn Hell against Pinhead.

Diver’s Hands

Hunger Cenobite—A very thin Cenobite with a large mouth and bulbous eyes.

Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

Aparius Cenobite—Bee-keeper of Hell, in charge of Cenobite-bees.

Mazes of the Mind

Orno Cenobite—Hell’s scientist who creates new guardians and avenues into Hell.

The Harrowing

The General—Leader of Hell’s army under Leviathan.

Merkova—Leader of the lucky six sent to eliminate the Harrowers, has an animal skull face.

Turpis—Member of Merkova’s lucky six, killed by the Harrowers.

Cattleskull—Member of Merkova’s lucky six, killed by the Harrowers.

Fulgar—Member of Merkova’s lucky six, killed by the Harrowers.

Haloblades—Member of Merkova’s lucky six, killed by the Harrowers.

Cowboy—Member of Merkova’s lucky six, killed by the Harrowers.

(Various)

Balberith Cenobite—An old woman with glasses sewn to her face; she carries a book made of, still-living and aware, human flesh. She is Librarian and Archivist of Hell.

Abigor Cenobite—a female Cenobite, a vasa inquitatis.

Face Cenobite—Staples other people’s faces onto his own; in life was an actor who killed and used the faces of his victims to assume their appearances in his roles, strongly implied to have been Lon Chaney Sr.

[edit]Film series

 

Main article: Hellraiser (franchise)

Hellraiser

Pinhead—The leader of the Cenobites, who gets his name from the pins embedded into his skull.

Chatterer—Pinhead's right-hand "man," who gets his name from his constantly chattering teeth. In the second movie he has the skin covering his eyes stretched back, and earns the distinction "Chatterer II." When he is killed near the climax of "Hellbound" and reverts to his human form, it is revealed he is a young boy. Leviathan later has other Cenobites fashioned in his image (Torso, Chatterer III, Chatterer Beast.)

Butterball—A very obese Cenobite.

Female Cenobite—often called "Open-Throat" or "The Female".

The Engineer: A giant Cenobite whose body has been mutilated and malformed to resemble an amalgamation of numerous animals, including a human, a dog, and a scorpion. Its name indicates that it is the creator of the Cenobites referred to in The Hellbound Heart.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Dr. Channard—A sadistic surgeon who mutilated animals as a child and, as an adult, tormented the mental patients under his care. He willfully entered the Cenobite realm to sate his curiosity about their extreme form of S&M, and ultimately reveled in his being transformed into a cenobite.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Pistonhead—An evil sex fiend that owned "The Boiler Room" club, had a hot, never ending piston shoved through his skull.

Camerahead—An expert camera man for the news was killed by Pinhead; and brought back to life with a camera for an eye.

Dreamer—A smoking teenager that never had dreams; is now a Cenobite with a cigarette in a throat wound.

CD—A deejay from "The Boiler Room", now Cenobite with the power to throw CDs like a ninja with throwing-stars.

Barbie—A bartender from "The Boiler Room", now Cenobite wrapped in barbed wire, and has the ability to spit out pus that ignites upon touching air.

Hellraiser: Bloodline

Angelique—Once a demon, she was transformed into a Cenobite by Pinhead.

Chatter Beast—A canine version of Chatterer.

Siamese Twins—Two brothers who never wanted to be separated. Pinhead joined them together into a single Cenobite with two heads.

Hellraiser: Inferno

Torso—A Cenobite fashioned in the image of Chatterer, [2] who is simply a head and pair of arms attached to half of a torso.

Wire Twins—Two twins that have long tongues, missing stomachs, and are covered in wires. They are the closest film depiction to how the Cenobites are described in Clive Barker's original novella and its' cover art.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker

Bound—An obese female Cenobite with leather straps sewn across her eyes and mouth.

Stitch—A female Cenobite with her eyes and mouth sewn shut.

Surgeon—A Cenobite with a large smile, he is rumored to have been a great surgeon.

Hellraiser: Deader

Bound II—A male version of the first Bound.

Sister—An unidentified Cenobite with her eyes sewn shut with wires.

Chatterer III—A successor to the original Chatterer, he is rumored to have once been a gym teacher before becoming a Cenobite; credited as the "Melted-Face Cenobite".

[edit]Tortured Souls

 

Main article: Tortured Souls

Cenobite-like creatures created by Clive Barker for the Tortured Souls toy line.

Series 1 / Animae Damnatae

Agonistes—The Secret Face of Genesis[3]

Scythe-Meister—The Assassin Transformed[4]

Lucidique—The Avenger[5]

Talisac—The Surgeon of the Sacred Heart[6]

Venal Anatomica—The Hunter of Primordium[7]

Mongroid—The Second Coming[8]

Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen (series 2)

Suffering Bob—The New Shape of Humanity[9]

Zain—The Face of Human Suffering[10]

Camille Noire—The Angelic Cenobite[11]

Feverish—The Womb of Hell[12]

Moribundi—The Ultimate Sacrifice[13]

Szaltax—The Arachnoid Cenobite[14]

[edit]Notes

 

^ a b c Evolution Of A Character - Pinhead

^ Tunnicliffe, Gar. "Leviathan's Lamentations". 1999

^ Tortured Souls Book I - Agonistes: The Secret Face of Genesis - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls Book II - Scythe-Meister: The Assassin Transformed - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls Book III - Lucidique: The Avenger - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls Book IV - Talisac: The Surgeon of the Sacred Heart - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls Book V - Venal Anatomica: The Hunter of Primordium - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls Book VI - Mongroid: The Second Coming - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Suffering Bob - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Zain - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Camille Noire - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Feverish - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Moribundi - SPAWN.com

^ Tortured Souls 2: The Fallen - Szaltax - SPAWN.com

[show]v · d · eClive Barker's Hellraiser

[show]v · d · eWorks by Clive Barker

[show]v · d · eTortured Souls

[iloveboxcars]

1 thing that bothers me about the show Breaking Bad is that they snap their flip phones in half and then throw them away, as if that would destroy the phone. I know from personal experience that this isn't true. All that is in the top half of the flip phone is the screen and the speaker.

 

When I was living in Arizona I was pretty poor, and during one night of drunkeness I snapped my phone in half. all this did was make it so the ringer didn't work, aside from the obvious screen/speaker in the top half. So for a good year give or take I had a pair of ear buds hooked into my phone, and would check my messages every hour or so.

 

cool story bro.

[Ernie McCracken]

So, Osama's dead huh? It's too bad the reality of the situation is that Jose Velasquez (the San Jose,CA actor paid by the C.I.A. to portray bin Laden all these years) had to sacrifice his own life so America could prove that Osama really existed. Georgie Bush and his co-conspirators can now rest assured in knowing that the truth about what they di...

[Ernie McCracken]

[iloveboxcars]

[KILZ FILLZ]

Lil Wayne lulz

[grd]

What if the characters of Broadway's "The Importance of Being Earnest" traveled through a time warp and woke up on the beach with Snooki, The Situation and the rest of the gang of MTV's "Jersey Shore"?

In an exclusive video series created for Playbill by "Earnest" stars Santino Fontana and David Furr, the Roundabout Theatre Company cast puts "Jersey" in the mouths of Oscar Wilde's famed Britons. Think of it as a comedy of bad manners. Part 1 in a multi-part series.

 

[KM4RT]

[Sars.Saw.Chicago]

^^^^^LMAO

[MOOGLE?]

Sabrina

Tipsy as a bitchhh ayyyy gettin it in yall. all for my niqqas and shit.

about an hour ago via Mobile Web · Like ·

[Realism]

 

TL;DAO

[Master Shake]

*

osamas not dead, we got him in a neked human triangle with a wet washcloth over his nose and mouth getting simulated drownt. and yea, throw that shit in the sewer, dividing it into peices isnt helpfull, but then again hollywoods aim isnt to train the general populus how to go make moves, theyd get shut down pretty quick if they were giving reliable information how to dodge charges, they just want some sensationalized bullshit drama to fill up the time between comercials, i fuckin hate tv

 

and that earnets blaybill british jersey shore shit was gay as fuck

[MedicineCabinet]

THEN THINK FASTER

 

& ive stopped wearing deodorant completely

[Rolf Harris]

i'll only believe osama's dead when he stops making mixtapes...

[IRON CHEF]

[injury]

DOPE TAPE

[watson]