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http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=584754

 

 

Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition is a local ministry in Freehold which seeks to enforce local ordinances which ban the sale of pornography. Our ministry is made up exclusively of men, who gather together in homes, and screen the latest filthy movies. We must know what we can enforce bans on and what we cannot. Additional research is also done privately through computer. If you want to stamp out pornography, and have the stomach to endure hours of the most hardcore, disgusting, kinky, graphic films there are, then please sign-up for G.A.P.E.

 

We generally meet once a week, on Thursday nights in the living rooms of our members. We believe in the utmost privacy and do not want to subject our sensitive women and children to this depravity, so wives and kids cannot be present in the house. Our meetings usually last about 3 hours.

 

We start off with a prayer, asking God to help us with the tasks that lie ahead. Then, we go over a review of what we did last week and what our goals for this week are. This is then followed by everyone's least favorite part...the screenings. One or two XXX films will be screened. We take notes and at the end of the film, vote whether or not it should be banned in Freehold or not.

 

Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.

 

So please, if you want a safer, moral Freehold and want to stamp out the smut, sign up for G.A.P.E. today!

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Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!

 

Life is really easy. Obey God and you go to Heaven. Unfortunately liberal atheist Nazis are finding ways to make everything needlessly complicated. If you repeat something nonsensical over and over again, simple minded people start believing it. A well known example is homosexuals. More and more people believe that being gay is not a choice but something people are born with. Completely ridiculous of course.

 

Fortunately there are always decent Christian people who are working on fixing these common misconceptions. Take Michele Bachmann's husband Marcus Bachmann for example. He has created the Christian counseling clinic where homosexuals can get cured from their disease by praying the gay away. Of course the liberal media is twisting this into claims that Marcus Bachmann himself is gay. This is utterly ridiculous as it would be impossible to become gay while you are married to a nice Christian lady like Michele Bachmann. There has been some debate on the $137,000 tax money Michele Bachmann allocated to her husbands business, but clearly we are talking about a Godly mission here, well worth some hard earned American tax dollars.

 

But we have a bigger problem here. Most people recognize that being gay is just a filthy choice, comparable with choosing to become a hippie vegan or a vegetarian child rapist. Unfortunately only few people recognize that down syndrome is also a lifestyle choice!

 

Down syndrome has been invented by people who are too lazy to study, too lazy to work and even too lazy to wipe their own butts. By acting like complete idiots they avoid scrutiny and get passed all checks in our system to receive free care and free money without ever having to do anything to actually deserve all that. Parents who are too lazy to properly raise their children teach their children to behave like drooling idiots so they no longer have to fulfill their parental duties.

 

No doubt some liberal atheists will start screaming that being gay isn't a lifestyle choice, down syndrome isn't a lifestyle choice and being vegan isn't a lifestyle choice. Fortunately it is easy to prove that down syndrome is indeed nothing but a lifestyle choice! Most people choosing down syndrome are too lazy to have children. But those who do have children, always have children who are also choosing this lifestyle. Not different from hippie parents having hippie children, where being a hippie is also clearly a lifestyle choice. At least until some idiot liberal God mocker starts claiming that all hippies have a genetic disease forcing them to smoke pot.

 

Unfortunately the misconception that down syndrome is not a lifestyle will be hard to fight. Parents having their children trained to behave like drooling idiots will refuse to cooperate because they are simply to lazy to properly raise their children. The solution here is to punish both the parents and the children. All of them should be put to work in labor camps. Also every medical and government program aimed at wasting money on these people should be terminated immediately.

 

Michele Bachmann has already promised that she will solve all our economic problems in at most a week once she becomes president. This will no doubt be one of her ways to achieve that.

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