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The Nonsense thread


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No matter how great the chemistry, every relationship can get dull at times. What better way to spice things up than a playful prank?


We’re not talking about saran-wrapping the toilet; the best practical jokes are the ones that leave both parties laughing. Here are some clever pranks to keep him on his toes all day long:


1. Put a small piece of masking tape on the bottom of his mouse, making sure it covers the trackball or optical sensor. Watch as he struggles to read his e-mail — and don’t forget to write “Gotcha!” on the tape.


2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.


3. If you're feeling silly, stuff tissues or newspaper into his shoes so that he can’t get his feet in. Write “SURPRISE!” on each one — he’ll see the message as he pulls them out.


4. Save an empty juice or Gatorade bottle (grape or cranberry works best) and fill it with water. Add a few drops of food coloring so the water becomes the color of whatever juice was originally in the bottle. When he goes to have a glass, watch his face as he takes a sip — he will be expecting something sweet and get a bland surprise instead!


5. If your guy is shy but has a good sense of humor, take a picture of the toilet in your bathroom, then plug your digital camera into a computer or TV and load the picture onto your screen. When he comes out of the bathroom, start laughing and pointing. He will see the picture and think you saw him in there!


6. The old sticker-on-the-back routine of the "Kick Me" variety is not very clever, and it’s certainly not nice — but it is pretty funny. Try “Hug Me” instead, and wait for him to come home and tell you about his bizarre office encounters.


7. An oldie but goodie: Superglue a coin to the floor and watch as he scratches away to pick it up.


8. We heard this and thought it was pretty cute, especially if you have kids! Add some sweet shenanigans to your day with a little fruity fun. Carefully poke some gummy worms into fresh fruit, like apples. Give your guy (or even your kids) a wormy apple for lunch and watch their face light up.


9. Put a spool of thread in your pocket and leave the tail hanging out. Then tell you guy that you’ve been trying to pull this sting but it won’t come off. Of course he’ll think he can save the day, but when he tries to pull it, it will go on and on and on! Reel him in for a kiss when he figures out the joke's on him.


10. Lastly, we’ve got a no-fail prank that anyone can do and it’s sure to get a laugh. Open a bedroom door slightly (or any door that you know he will walk through) and put a pillow at the top of it — when he opens the door the pillow will hit them on the head. Make up for your wily ways and offer to kiss his boo-boo!


Just remember, a harmless prank can certainly lead to some steamy activity underneath the sheets, but a cruel prank can turn him to ice. So remember to keep it fun for everyone!


I just fucking threw up in my lap.

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I've been on a drug/ alcohol binge everyday for the past few weeks... dirty, malnourished, scum bag shit, feel me? Ive been getting alittle concerned, but let me tell you, I just woke up to titties in my face, which in turn translated into getting evil on that ass, and then the bitch COOKS ME BREAKFAST, WHATT??? Im a fucking sous chef for christ sake, im the unlucky mother fucker who ends up cooking these mutts breakfast. Shits been turned on it's fucking head... which is great... honestly dont know how i pulled that shit. BUT! this random, un-expected change to my manic ways has encouraged me to go do shit. So i'm about head out to buy bear mace, and lurk on a mother fucker that owes me money. . . feeling determined, FEELING GOOD!

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