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It’s unfair that men can just whip it out whenever they need to relieve themselves. Those of us without penis have to negotiate a number of awkward steps – do we take off our pants over our shoes before we squat? Or awkwardly pull our kickers to one side and risk dribbling all over our footwear? Can I stand back up swiftly and efficiently when I’m done, or will I wobble and fall into a puddle of my own urine? And what if, say, a bear comes by while I’m peeing? A man with a penis can just take off running – I am trapped, hobbled by my own sad little pee squat, vulnerable to all attacks.

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