Realism Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 For whatever reason, when I flushed the toilet, a combination of a previous obstruction and some kind of insane water pressure sent a flume of watery, partially solid diarrhea directly into my stupid face, which was, stupidly, staring agape at the force with which the toilet flushed. I immediately puked INTO my pants and, when the whole scene had ceased simply sat there, dumbfounded for anywhere from about 30 seconds to an eternity. Stunned, I texted my friend and told him I needed some help in the bathroom, which he initially thought was a joke. We bantered via text for a few agonising minutes and finally he came to see what all the hullabaloo was about. Peering over the stall door, he nearly puked himself. We negotiated a plan of action and my friend went home to pick up some fresh clothes for me, informing his family that he had to make a serious, possibly lengthy phone call. He returned with some un-defiled clothes and guarded the bathroom for me while I cleaned off the last vestiges of the slaughterhouse I'd made of the clothes I'd left the house in. I wrapped them up in as many paper towels as I could manage and threw them out the window into the parking lot, excused myself from the dinner (inexplicably wearing different clothes) to a visibly confused group of family friends and complete teenage strangers, asked for a handful of plastic bags from the hostess, picked up my clothes, went home and wept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john brown Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KARD like WOE Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Feed me flavour rices, put the chronic in my lungs flavor ices.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john brown Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 ^http://rapgenius.com/Action-bronson-bird-on-a-wire-lyrics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 So it's settled 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back In 88 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Is this an mosquito?…NO! This is an "INSECT SPY DRONE" already in production. It can be controlled from a great distance and is equipped with a camera, microphone and can land on you, and use it's needle to take a DNA sample with the pain of a mosquito bite. Or it can inject a micro RFID tracking device under your skin. It can land on you, and you take it in your home or it can fly thru a window. Funny, don't you see your window of privacy getting real narrow these days. They are preparing are you? - Repost from fb. Even if this was real, what happens when someone swats the "mosquito" and crushes a multi million dollar investment. I could see every covert mission going like this.... Ok we've landed on the back of the neck, now proceeding to extract DNA sample....*SLAPPP* AWWW FUCKK! We lost another one Jimmy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Yo we 80,000 shopping malls but we ain't browsin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 He's browsin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 getting a database error on your database error in the database error thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 ^nonsense! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUEu99qJC One of my favorite shyne tracks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Security guards with 9 berettas, pullin up Volkswagen jettas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Sittin sideways in a Chinese Buffet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 On thin ice, I skate across the lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Sasi sasi'e ko ta ta'aro Ko hai he hange bora'e kiko liono Itam wa orena korai lo 'aila Elai tandera sa'e tamate'o 'ae Sasi sasi'e ko ta ta'aro Ko hai he hange bora'e kiko liono Tamatau wa ne'i nita se'a wa 'ula Elai tandera sa'e tamate'o 'ae Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 In the early 1980s, our dad used to drive us over the bridge to Staten Island then all the way down Hylan Boulevard to Tottenville Pool to swim in sweet safety in the suburbs. Sunset Park Pool was too scary for us even though it was a few blocks away! It was pre-cupcaked NYC! The rent was very cheap back then!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 http://youtu.be/G5GG0QItuQw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john brown Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 sail boat? its a schooner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 World according to Australians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 its a schooner A schooner is a sail boat, stupid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PickledBeetsOnTheStreets Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyar Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 i think i just got caught on camera by the google street view car... fuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
you can microwave bacon Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 why's that bad? were you coming out of the vd clinic or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie cans Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shittles..TasteTheAsshole Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 way of the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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