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sectorTVA

depression...

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ive been pretty sad since thursday night. heres the deal. ive been living where i live for a year now, and i only have 3 people i can really call friends who live locally. the truth is that im lonely. and when i think about it, ive never really been happy the whole time ive lived up here. its not like i avoid making friends. i talk with people in classes, but the next day they dont even recongnize me as a person. its been like that since middle school, and high school, and i thought college would be different, but it really isnt. im a nice guy and everything, but people just dont seem drawn to talk to me. i dont know why, and it hurts in the worst way when i think about it. ive thought long and hard about it, and i started realizing how lonely i was after a cop was asking me how i got into graffiti. this was a year and a half ago, and this is what i told the cop. i told him that i started graffiti, because i didnt have many friends and i thought graffiti would make me more popular. well it did, but only with graf writters, i dont mind, that, since it seems graf heds are the only people i can realate to. the problem is, after i moved, the new place i reside at has very few graf writters. in fact i dont even know any writters locally. i just know 3 who live in a town about an hour away. so i waste my life away, waiting for days when i drink some alcohol and watch cheesy movies with a friend of mine. i guess im hurt the most by the length of time ive been lying to myself, saying that im happy, when im really not happy at all...it almost brings me to tears when i think about it, and if i actually talk to someone about it ill probably cry...im not asking for any advice, i just needed to be heard i guess, and i feel that the message board would be a good start for getting this shit off my chest. just asking for people to listen.

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you could wear an interesting shirt to start a convo or attract people with similar personality. and as for lack of friends sometimes your better off without any.

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Guest platapie

shit that sux man. jus be a tuff guy and punch peopel it usually helps a lil. but in all honesty itll be fine dude jsu be kool.

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Don't feel bad. I've been bumming really bad too. It's normal to spend less time with your friends as you get older. When you're young, people have similar priorities. Now, everyone's life has different demands....

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Guest dukeofyork

i know the feeling...

but when i go out painting, it all goes away.

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thanks the input...its somewhat good to know that im not alone...i just got back from painting, unfortunately painting is only a temporary fix for problems...takes my mind off things, but not for that long.

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i know exactly how you feel. like 6-9th grade i was really popular and had lots of girlfriends. then a lot of my close friends moved away or went to different schools.and now 3 years later i want more friends and g/f's. i know what your saying about having people you talk to at school and in class but then not doing anything out of school with them. i think now my problem is that people think that i'm angry when i'm not. i dunno blah

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unbottle your emotions, for real, i used to hate life until i got a couple of new hobbies, and it helped out alot...just dont do what others do when they dont feel accepted, dont go to raves

 

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ya like dages...oh! dogs!

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Originally posted by Secret:

Don't feel bad. I've been bumming really bad too. It's normal to spend less time with your friends as you get older. When you're young, people have similar priorities. Now, everyone's life has different demands....

 

i know what you mean,it so crazy when you think about all the time you spent with people growing up,and now if you talk/see them once/twice a years thats alot.you spent some much time with these people and you know them inside out,than out of nowhere they are someone new to you,you don't know they are anymore.one of lifes many downfalls i guess

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youre not alone. its hard. i know. if you had any idea what i go through everyday, that would make you cry.......

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i can definitely relate to your post sector...

 

have faith though...what i figure is eventually the clouds'll roll away and some things will fall into place and i'll start making some sence out of being on this planet...

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http://www.x-mail.net/livia/nude_bln006.jpg'>

seeing sluts like this makes me depressed because it makes me think of how pathetic they are when her own self worth needs to be gained by her naked body altered and displayed for approval of horny poisoned morons.

 

 

anyway, sector i competely feel you on this. i used to feel like that a lot. even though i have always had at least one really good friend throughout my life, i understand what you are saying. almost every year of school ive attended, i was thrown into classes with a bunch of kids i didnt even know while my friends were all in the same classes elsewhere. so i wouldnt really TRY to make friends, but i'd make small talk throughout the year. sometimes a got a small friend out of it but not usually. its tuff i know...but just be yourself dood. theres a lot of narrow minded people out there, especially in school, but just be yourself and follow what you like because that is what makes you better than them. i have been myself for 2 years now (hahaha what a stupid thing to say, but its the truth) and i have been so happy with the fact that i am above the idiots who cant even display their own true personalities without worrying of who or what accepts me. if you have any flaws at all, perfect them, and endulge in your own life because their lives are most likely horseshit. or maybe you need to talk more with these people before you start to hang. anyway...good luck...

 

 

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$$$666MAKROS666$$$

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awhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh makroooooooossss seeeekkkkinnnggs gooonnnaaaa gggeeettt maaaadddd attttt yyooooouuu (in a 5 year old girl voice)

 

but sector you are not alone....i know what you mean....totally

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Hey dude.

After i post this im going to write you an email.

You're never ever alone, it feels that way alot i know...

 

I had to go to 3 different schools last year.

my old school had 10 writers, i had alot of friends etc..suddenly BLAM, one of thousands of people that mean nothing. Im not going to start on all the other shit that went wrong.

 

Keep on keeping on..

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heres the deal, markos said i need to talk with these people more...the problem is, these people couldnt handle 10 percent of whats on my mind, and are stuck on preped out im better than everyone mentality. i could really care less for these people, i just think its fucked up that they dont even recongnize me as a person the day after i talked with them the first few minutes of class. and it makes me depressed that people can actually be like that, not caring for others who obviously want to socialize, even if its just in class. im in a situation that presents me with very few people who have anything in common with me. this town is full of kids from rich families who think they own you. not to say that im poor, but i at least keep an open mind on who i talk with. and in genral im nice to everyone, wheather i think youre an asshole or not, but people must mistake my kindness for being strange or different. basicly i feel like a social outcast who nobody understands. if i honestly spoke my mind to these people, i garentee it would piss them all off. i have a very negative view toward pop culture and preppy bastards. doesnt mean i wont talk or be nice to them though. thanks for the support...i didnt expect this many people to reply.

 

( my negativity toward "preppy bastards" comes from the fact that they are the assholes who make me feel like this, basicly if you werent on your high school football team they wouldnt give a fuck who you are. this is not to say i dislike them all, ive met some cool preppy people before, but its not very common from my experience with them )

 

 

[This message has been edited by sectorTVA (edited 09-17-2001).]

 

[This message has been edited by sectorTVA (edited 09-17-2001).]

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Guest bug

yeah i feel you sector, my mind operates on a totally different plateau than anyone else i know. i'm so fucked, at least you talk to people at school. i'm already convinced by how a person carries himself/herself that i would have absolutely nothing in common with them, so i don't even talk at all. keep your head up, or you'll end up like me, a place that's even harder to get out of.

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