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Guest beardo

hahaha im sorry..

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Guest beardo

im sorry but i thought this was fucking hysterical when i read it.. post up some good/amusing quotes from musicians..

 

"Real bands don't just play requests... so we're going to play a request." -Trey of phish

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enter beardo with usless quotes from hippies....

it did make me laugh though....

 

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brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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Guest --zeSto--

what's a usefull hippie quote...?

 

" Dont smuggle over state lines "

" Dont forget where you parked the van "

" Patchouli covers any smell "

 

sorry man.. just playin

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Guest beardo

oh i had a doozy of a response but i'll stow it this time (all in good fun of course)

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bring it on phish boy!!!

 

isnt it nice to jump into the usual 12oz nonsense for just a second....

 

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brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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Guest beardo

oh so nice

 

on a related note, all the kids on the phish board want phish to come back and play a huge benifit show, which would no doubt raise and insane amount of money.

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that's all well and good, but I don't see what it has to do with groundskeeper willie.

 

------------------

2 Can Sam

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Originally posted by --zeSto--:

" Patchouli covers any smell "

 

haha...i missed that the first time around...just blew a snot rocket onto my carpet from an unexpected laugh...

 

 

------------------

brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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Guest beardo

okay this is officially the get it out of your system thread..

 

this article is off the mic stand funny.. its tenacious D interviewed for the 'westword' local paper in denver

 

Westword: You should be warmly embraced in Denver. One of the city's nicknames is "D-Town."

 

Kyle Gass: Excellent. Dallas's nickname is "the Big D," which was nice, 'cause I'm really into O-Town right now. But I think "D-Town" is better. It will be more appropriate for when we come in and proceed to rock the shit out of the place.

 

Jack Black: What is the name of the place we are playing? Is it Red Rocks or Red Rock?

 

WW: It's Red Rocks, plural.

 

JB: Shit! Goddamn it! I was hoping it was Red Rock, like a new form of music. Like when they first started using the phrase "heavy metal." People would be like, "Well, what kind of rock is it?" And we'd be like, "It's Red Rock." Can we do some rock climbing there?

 

WW: It is severely discouraged.

 

JB: Shit. Kyle and I are expert rock climbers. We will rappel. Rappel and bounce off of the Red Rock. We will display feats of extreme jackassery. Will we be given some sort of chopper to get there?

 

WW: I don't know. I think Ween gets one.

 

JB: Those fucking pricks. Is there any risk that these rocks could tumble and fall in the middle of our show?

 

WW: I doubt it. I saw Mötley Crüe there last year, and they didn't even cause a tremor.

 

JB: Yeah, but we rock so much harder than the Crüe! I predict that when we are finished, they are going to have to find a new name for Red Rocks. It's going to be...Red Rubble.

 

KG: Red Wreckage.

 

JB: We will shake it to the earth. I've heard that Colorado has some of the most beautiful people in the world. That everyone's really into, like, extreme mountain biking and kayaking and shit. They're all going to be wearing tank tops and thongs, and they'll be pointing at us, like, "Who the hell let these fat guys in here?" I wonder if we will be allowed to cross the state line. We will be halted. We will have to say we are on our way back to Nebraska, where the fat people belong.

 

KG: Do you think that we would be booed if we played a song by John Denver? Didn't he turn his back on Colorado?

 

JB: I heard he built a toxic-waste dump out in the middle of the forest.

 

KG: And people got excited about that? After all he did for them with "Rocky Mountain High"?

 

WW: People are fickle.

 

JB: I heard that we are not actually the headliner. That is such bullshit! Are we the opener? It's fine if we are opening for Ween. We've always wanted to play with those guys. We heard they party really hard. But what the fuck is Galactic? Is that like one of these fucking hippie jam bands who are going to play for eight years?

 

KG: I predict there will be lots of extended space jams and Hacky Sack shit. Lots of Ultimate Frisbee players.

 

JB: Sounds like a pretty stony crowd, at least. Would you say that Denver is hungry for the D?

 

WW: think they are. I saw you play at CMJ last year, and that crowd was definitely hungry for it. You guys had one of the biggest buzzes of anyone who played.

 

JB: Well, it wasn't all for us. At the Drive In was on that bill, too. But come to think of it, they broke up soon after that. Holy shit. I think we fucking broke them up. They saw what it was like to have to follow the D, and they immediately broke up.

 

KG: We were the big buzz at SXSW last year, too. But after our show, some critic wrote this review where he said, "So, that was it?" I had some extra time the next day, so I called him. Set him straight. He was a prick. It's like, "Despite the fact that every person in the room seemed to be having a good time, the band was a bore."

 

JB: You can't sweat it, dude.

 

KG: I know. And it's like, well, there were so many artists that people loved, and the critics were always telling the public that it was wrong. That they actually sucked, despite their enjoyment. Look at Neil Diamond.

 

WW: What is with you guys and Neil Diamond? Half of your record was produced at his studio in Los Angeles. And you, Jack, were recently on V-H1 talking about how much you admired him.

 

JB: Well, Tenacious D? That's what the D stands for. Well, not really. I think I'm the son he wishes he had. I guess his actual son is kind of a drag. But I'll tell you, if you intend to get to the bottom of my connection to Neil Diamond, you will get no further.

 

WW: Well, would you say the D is influenced by him?

 

KG: I think we are more influenced by the classics. And the Beatles. Who were, of course, contemporaries of Neil's.

 

JB: We might be more inclined to say that we were influenced by Barry Manilow.

 

KG: Who is a notorious pot smoker, and we can relate to that.

 

JB: Dude. Barry Manilow is not a fucking pot smoker. How can you even say this? Reveal your source!

 

KG: One of my friends used to be his driver. He said that every day when he'd drop Barry off or something, he'd check the ashtray and, sure enough, there would be fatties and all sorts of roaches and joints in there.

 

JB: Dude, that's because his passengers were blazing up. Not Manilow, dude. You fucking fuck.

 

KG: It makes sense if you think about it. Like, the "Copacabana"? Tell me that is not the work of a stoned man.

 

WW: What are you guys traveling in? Do you have a big tour bus?

 

JB: Dude, did you hear the insinuation in that? She totally wants to rock with us on the bus. (Approximates an imitation of Westword's voice.) "Do you have a big tour bus?" You are so transparent, lady!

 

KG: We do have a huge bus. And be sure you print that.

 

JB: We've requested the Don Henley model. It is state of the art. Which is good in case I have to take a donkey crap on the bus. Although I got some tips from Page from Phish. He said there are rules of the road, and rule number one is that you never, never crap on the bus. You have to make the driver pull over. It's a rule known to everyone who travels the road. I bet you Neil Young would not crap on his bus. But I have a feeling that Kyle is going to have a big problem with that one. I think he should have his own van, and he should have to drive it.

 

WW: What are the other rules?

 

JB: There will be no cigarette smoking, because I have to protect my instrument. But there will be weed smoking, because this is rock and roll. And ladies. There will be plenty of fuckin' sexy ladies in the huzz-ouse.

 

WW: I think there's a perception out there that you guys are a joke band. Like Spinal Tap.

 

KG: Well, that really takes the pressure off having to play well.

 

JB: To me, that sounds like someone just needing to find a little compartment to stuff us in. Like, they always have to find a little box for everything when they don't understand it. They've got to give us a name and call us a joke band. Well, fuck them. I guess the joke is on them when they come to the show and find their fucking ass is blown out.

 

WW: Do you ever witness that transformation -- like, the crowd expects to laugh, but then they're just...rocking?

 

JB: All the time, my dear, all the time. It gets so intense sometimes, it actually scares me. I didn't used to understand that. I once read a quote from Eddie Vedder where he said that sometimes his voice gets so intense that he frightens himself. And at the time, I thought that was really fucking funny.

 

KG: It's like,the final shots of the "Jeremy" video, where he looks like he's having a bowel movement.

 

JB (singing the "Jeremy" chorus): Hoo-Hoo!

 

KG: That was the reason they stopped making videos, not because they were compromising their art or whatever. They just watched the last half of that and were like, "Dude, this has to stop."

 

JB: Yeah, but you know, it used to be that, whenever someone got too serious, it would just amuse me. But now, with the D, I can understand it better. It's like we put the hurt on the audience. But we also put the hurt on ourselves.

 

KG: We're gonna put the hurt on Denver.

 

JB: You'd better warn them. Those fucking rocks are comin' down.

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Guest freddy kreuger

Lots of Ultimate Frisbee players.

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hey Beardo, just a question. a band called widespread panic is coming to town and they are gonna be there the whole weekend...i was gonna go and get some acid from the show for TOOL playing the next night, but i was wondering whats your opinion on the music? whats it sound like? i might like to stay and see or actually go instead of giving people money...just asking cuz i heard it was a hippy band and you seem to be the resident hippy...so i thought i might ask you...drop me a line on aim too...been a while

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"TIT JUICE!!!!" sage francis

del going on for 10 minutes on stage as to why the x-men movie is gonna suck 'cause halle berry is too small, and they dont wear spandex

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Originally posted by beardo:

It will be more appropriate for when we come in and proceed to rock the shit out of the place.

 

JB: Yeah, but we rock so much harder than the Crüe! I predict that when we are finished, they are going to have to find a new name for Red Rocks. It's going to be...Red Rubble.

 

JB: We will be halted. We will have to say we are on our way back to Nebraska, where the fat people belong.

 

KG: And people got excited about that? After all he did for them with "Rocky Mountain High"?

 

JB: But what the fuck is Galactic? Is that like one of these fucking hippie jam bands who are going to play for eight years?

 

JB: We might be more inclined to say that we were influenced by Barry Manilow.

 

KG: Who is a notorious pot smoker, and we can relate to that.

 

JB: Dude. Barry Manilow is not a fucking pot smoker. How can you even say this? Reveal your source!

 

JB: Dude, that's because his passengers were blazing up. Not Manilow, dude. You fucking fuck.

 

KG: It makes sense if you think about it. Like, the "Copacabana"? Tell me that is not the work of a stoned man.

 

JB: We've requested the Don Henley model. It is state of the art. Which is good in case I have to take a donkey crap on the bus.

 

JB: But there will be weed smoking, because this is rock and roll. And ladies. There will be plenty of fuckin' sexy ladies in the huzz-ouse.

 

KG: Well, that really takes the pressure off having to play well.

 

JB: Well, fuck them. I guess the joke is on them when they come to the show and find their fucking ass is blown out.

 

KG: They just watched the last half of that and were like, "Dude, this has to stop."

 

JB: It's like we put the hurt on the audience.

 

KG: We're gonna put the hurt on Denver.

 

JB: You'd better warn them. Those fucking rocks are comin' down.

 

that was fuckin hilarious! i didn't stop laughing through the entire thing...

those are my favorites..

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Guest beardo

peyem.. WSP isnt that bad, its more southern rock-ish. i've only heard a little bit from them.. they have their really good moments. while i have yet to catch them live, if you take the acid im sure youd have a good time!

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Guest --zeSto--

JB: We might be more inclined to say that we were influenced by Barry Manilow.

 

KG: Who is a notorious pot smoker, and we can relate to that.

 

JB: Dude. Barry Manilow is not a fucking pot smoker. How can you even say this? Reveal your source!

 

KG: One of my friends used to be his driver. He said that every day when he'd drop Barry off or something, he'd check the ashtray and, sure enough, there would be fatties and all sorts of roaches and joints in there.

 

JB: Dude, that's because his passengers were blazing up. Not Manilow, dude. You fucking fuck.

 

KG: It makes sense if you think about it. Like, the "Copacabana"? Tell me that is not the work of a stoned man.

 

say it aint so Barry,

SAY IT AINT SO!!!

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Guest beardo

and that band GALACTIC is fucking sick. caught them about a month ago, killed it. not a hippie band. there were only a few hippies in attendance. see them at all costs.

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Guest beardo

STOOPID FUNNY!!

 

 

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?"

 

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

 

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

 

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

 

Horny as hell he says, "Oh please, please, I love you so much!"

 

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

 

"Oh yes you can. Please? You can suck the hell out of it, you're the best"

 

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's little sister shows up in her pajamas, and in a sleepy voice she says:

 

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a damn blowjob. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, Dad says he can come down himself and do it. But for God's sake tell the asshole to take his fucking hand off the intercom!"

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"If you want to be entertained, go and see Hanson" - Thom

 

"Lots of really talented artists are being thrown by the wayside. They are not being given the time of day, because they're not doing things that fit the moment. Madmen with machetes are chopping away at the wood—any wood, deadwood, doesn't matter. You want to slap people and say, "Why don't you go back and look at all the beautiful things that have been made in the music business and realize that you have to have faith in people?" In the long run, the industry wants to make money, but if a company wants to make money then it has to take a risk. These people don't take risks. They make quick money and then that's it. And the world isn't a nicer place for it. What really makes me fucking spit blood is when people in the industry start complaining about how there's no talent around. I know it's there and you know it's there. But you are too shit scared to do anything about it."

 

-Thom on the current state of pop

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Guest --zeSto--
Originally posted by beardo:

"Oh yes you can. Please? You can suck the hell out of it, you're the best"

 

 

that's what I always say right before I get slapped silly (and not in the good way!)

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Originally posted by beardo:

southern rock-ish.B]

 

do you mean lynnard skynard southern rockish or pantera southern rockish? either way,im there

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