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fatbastard

The Grandparents Appreciation Thread.

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How dope are grandparents? I have one set left and they are no doubt the homies.

 

So the other day my grandparents come over to visit me, and stayed and chatted about virtually nothing for about a half hour, for some reason it was real fun, they crack me up...as they were leaving and i kissed my grandma goodbye my grandpa grabs my arm and says to me "hey dont kiss my wife or i'll kiss yours" :lol: he cracks me up.

 

 

 

 

Grandma.

 

no doubt the kindest and most innocent person in the world, has 10 children and 19 grandchildren, and 1 great grandchild she still gives all the grandchildren money during birthdays and holidays but has a rule, once your married your cut off from the presents list. :) she gives me more money than any other of her grandchildren. This woman has spent her whole life caring, raising and loving.

 

Grandpa

 

This guy is in his late 80's and has lost the plot over time. He sleeps 17 hours a day and when his awake he has a OCD thing about the doors being unlocked so every hour when his awake he does a few rounds of the house making sure all doors are locked and that the computers off and all the un-used lights are off as well. he used to watch sale of the centuary and he didnt know what was ever going on he just liked to watch peoples scores go up and down, but when they took that off the air the tv became usless to him.

 

 

Ok so share some stories, about your grandparents.....tell us about them. are they homies, or are they absolute dicks? i know mr.yuck has a few funny stories to share.

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when my great grandmother was in a nursing home, she used to fake seizures and dizzy spells all the time cos she liked the drugs the nurses gave her. she was quite the troublemaker.

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Yeah, I only have my mum's parents left. They had 8 children, and fuck knows how many grandchildren there are. Plus there's a couple great grandchildren thrown in for good measure. They're the coolest, nicest, and at times trippiest people, all you have to say to my grandad is hello and he just talks for hours. Plus his war stories are fucking killer.....

 

It's just too bad I only get to see them every few years. I hope I get to see them again before they're gone.

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my mum's parents are the dopest humans to ever walk the earth. raised 15 children, have at least 60+ grandchildren (more on the way) asd about 10+ great grandchildren (more on the way). they're the nicest kindest most selfless people on earth.

 

 

my father's mother on the other hand is completely bonkers. you will never get a word in edge-ways with her. ever. she talks sooooo much, falls asleep at really random times (even mid-conversation) and does the loudest farts i've ever heard.

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My grandparents are the best people,on my dads side i only got a grandpa tho,grandma died when my dad was like 9 years old,but gramps is pure thug,he has a bunch of false teeth,hes missin like 2 fingers,has a 3rd grade education,worked on a farm all his life,but hes still a smart,funny and great guy,he lives in Kansas soo i never see em,but my moms parents are the nicest people in the world,the love gettin drunk,all the family get togethers are at their crib,n if they didnt listenin to classical music they would be thugs,g-ma drives a cadi...and they both make perverted jokes that old people shouldnt be talkin about,Soo yea..no doubt I love my grandparents alot..Theyre just great people.

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Originally posted by BOZACK

when my great grandmother was in a nursing home, she used to fake seizures and dizzy spells all the time cos she liked the drugs the nurses gave her. she was quite the troublemaker.

 

thats gold!

 

 

 

 

 

Originally posted by Mr. ABC

my father's mother on the other hand is completely bonkers. you will never get a word in edge-ways with her. ever. she talks sooooo much, falls asleep at really random times (even mid-conversation) and does the loudest farts i've ever heard.

 

hahahah i love crazy old people! tell us some things that she says? i working at a nursing home one day amd we were having a "quiz night" (at 2 in the afternoon, which is late for them considering they get up around 5:30) and this lady who kept falling asleep wakes up randomly and goes:

 

"we used to have pet wallabies, a dog and a cat...and they all lay amongst each other"

 

then she fell asleep for no joke another 30 seconds wakes up again and goes "on the mat"

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I have one grandmother left, my dads' mom. She is 93 years old, and acts like she is 60. She stood in line for a Britney Spears autogrpah for me and my sisters, for reaosns I have no clue of. She came off the boat from ireland. She is JUST starting to lose her memory, which is amazing, shes 93 and still goes out and shops all the time. I hope i get that longevity gene.

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Originally posted by BOZACK

when my great grandmother was in a nursing home, she used to fake seizures and dizzy spells all the time cos she liked the drugs the nurses gave her. she was quite the troublemaker.

 

oh yes i forgot this one....this same great grandmom had a birthday party at said nursing home and i went with my family. she got her birthday cake and was all excited and started eating it VERY SLOWLY. then she'd forget it was there. then 15 minutes later she'd look down and see the cake and get all excited like "oh! birthday cake! how nice!" and start eating it again. this process was repated over a span of almost 2 hours.

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I only had 3 to start with, lost my grandmother and my Nana, Nana was the bomb... Papa doesn't like me or something, haven't heard from him in a few years...

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My only grandma left is pretty cool.. she chills.. except the fact that whenever i visit her, she insists 8pm is bedtime. THen i have to sit in the dark in achair for about3 or 4 hours till im tired.. not very fun times..

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Without a doubt, grandparents are the whip.

 

Not only are grandpas almost ALWAYS the wittiest,

most consistantly on-point motherfuckers they've

also got some knowledge to drop when you least

expect it. Words like a motherfucker when it

comes to women.

 

Grandma's are like moms times a thousand...

giving when you tell them not to be, cook the

bomb grub, will help you out anytime you're

in a jam for a hug and a kiss.

 

The best is when they make fun of each other

like old friends, someday I want a girl I can

trade blows with like that... maybe when I'm 60.

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Originally posted by fatbastard

hahahah i love crazy old people! tell us some things that she says?

 

i honestly would not know where to start. you prolly know i've been overseas for a few years. i roll up at her place xmas 02 on a 3 week stay and she's all "how have you been?". i get about 2 sentences into telling her what's been going on and then she just cuts right in and begins to tell me everything that's happened to her since the minute i left until the minute i arrived. i sat there for 5 hours straight listening to her talk. keep in mind i only arrived after a 24 hour flight at 7 am that morning and hadn't slept since i left dublin and had the most insane jet lag in history. thank god my brain wasn't working or i would have slapped her.

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Originally posted by BOZACK

oh yes i forgot this one....this same great grandmom had a birthday party at said nursing home and i went with my family. she got her birthday cake and was all excited and started eating it VERY SLOWLY. then she'd forget it was there. then 15 minutes later she'd look down and see the cake and get all excited like "oh! birthday cake! how nice!" and start eating it again. this process was repated over a span of almost 2 hours.

 

how much fun would that be? hahaha you could give her a present then steal it back then give it back to her a few minutes later. :lol:

 

more stories. more stories

 

 

and you guys need to go into more detail.

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My grandma used to cover for me when my PO would call for me wanting to know where I was. Grandma is definately a down ass nigga. Thanks grandma.

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im not really that close to my remaining grand parents.

one lives in colombia, the other lives in the next town,

there not anything special for me. there just like any other family member, other than their age.

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This thread brought up good memories.

 

 

My grandpa on on my dads side was the first man to own a car in his town.

Grandpa Nick was a gambler. Big stakes, illegal poker games etc. He was born in 1903 and married my grandma who was 10 years younger and adopted my dad and his sister.

 

A story that was told to me numerous times by many family members and a few old timers in his club that he went to, was that one night there was a big card game and grandpa was cleaning house and one guy just wouldn't give up. Grandpa was on a hot streak and must have this guys number because fool wouldn't give up.

 

To cut a long story short, Grandpa Nick ended up winning the deed to this guys house.

Being the good hearted man he was he forgave the debt.

 

He died 3 months after my grandma from a broken heart.

 

Nick Strembicki R.I.P. 1903-1996

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Originally posted by mr.yuck

My grandma used to cover for me when my PO would call for me wanting to know where I was. Grandma is definately a down ass nigga. Thanks grandma.

 

common you can do better than that. what about the time you were telling us that you and your grandpa were in the car waiting for the freights to go by, and your grandpa said "hey there go your buddies"

 

common. you had heaps of stories.

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so here's a quickie grandparents story:

 

my "grandpa" (stepmom's crazy father) was at my dad's house when i was living there. my girlfriend at the time was over, and she needed a ride home. so gramps and i are driving down the street with her and he asks:

"so what's your name, young lady?"

"Terra."

"Kara?"

"Terra."

"Mara?"

"TERRA."

"Sorry, my hearing aid must be turned down." my grandpa habitually turns his hearing aid down so he can't hear when my grandma is yelling at him. kinda funny, but kinda annoying when he turns the BYU football game up to deafening volumes. so, he reaches into his massive ear (seriously, like three or four inches tall) and tries to turn up his hearing aid. it was already all the way up, so when he cranked it, the volume knob snapped off and made this really loud noise. he turns and looks at us and says, "well, i heard that." he then just turned around and drove the rest of the way without even talking to us.

 

crazy deaf mormons.

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haha this thread makes me laugh.

My grandma is cool sometimes she makes ridiculous ammounts of food and practically forces me to eat it all.

she hooks up the cash sometimes which is pretty nice too.

Grandpas dead, never met him, but i bet he was a G. RIP.

:king:

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Originally posted by opressthelaw

haha this thread makes me laugh.

My grandma is cool sometimes she makes ridiculous ammounts of food and practically forces me to eat it all.

 

JUST LIKE MINE!

 

Grandma: would you like something to eat

 

me:no thanks i just ate

 

g: are you sure i just made pasta and theres left over mashed potato in the fridge?

 

m:seriously thankyou, but i went to subway earlier

 

g:(thinks fast food is the devil, and the oil they use to deep fry everything is cancer ridden) ok theres some tv dinners in the freezer (proceeds to take one out) what do you like? lasagne? grilled fish? mac and cheese?

 

m: grandma thankyou but im really full i will seriously thow up if i eat anything

 

g: what about something sweet then you didnt have desert did you? would you like some icecream

 

m: ahhhhh

 

g: (serves me a ridiculous amount of icecream) here you go theres brownies as well if you like? sprinkles?

m:the icecreams fine thanks.

 

so i proceed to eat this mountain of icecream (she dosent really pay attention to what flavour she buys so she has weirdo flavours ...weight watchers reduced fat, lime green weird ice cream etc) when shes not looking i pretend to be washing my bowel and throw half of it down the sink..

 

g:oh you finished the icecream? (she then places a plate of potatoes in front of me and says: "would you like gravy?"

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Guest comdek

Ahaha dope thread. My grandparents are sick cunts... give me so much cash, and like anything i need... Always there and shit too. Oh what would i do without them.

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my dads parents are both dead, my mums dad died a couple years back, he was a smart dude. he could fix any fucking thing in the whole world. my grandma sends me letters occasionally, typed up on the typewriter on floral paper, its great, very grandmotherly...

my stepmums parents live in brazil, they are fucking awesome, i stayed with them for a while last year and they were fantastic. they have that thing of force feeding piles of food to you, but it is all totally delicious and you really want to eat it too, i gained a bunch of weight while i was there purely because of that fact.

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