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king kong

Ahh simpsons....lol best line ever

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Homer dies and goes to heaven where he has to do a good deed to get into heaven...so he comes back and marge tells him she has dishes laundry and all this shit to do he can help with and he's like...

 

"Damn marge i'm just trying to get into heaven i'm not running for Jesus"

 

 

AHHHHHHHHHhhh that shit is wild HOMER is the man...

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The best part is that you put 'lol' in your thread title.

 

 

Are you going to send the dogs after me?

Or the bees?

Or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?

 

*paraphrased*

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Homer is making a website and he's reading a book to educate himself

and says

 

"Ohhhhhhhhh, the internet is now on computers these days"

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Originally posted by Glik0

The best part is that you put 'lol' in your thread title.

 

 

Are you going to send the dogs after me?

Or the bees?

Or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?

 

*paraphrased*

 

I actually copied the thread name and first post from another forum...

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Homer: Lisa honey, are you saying that you are never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Porkchops?

Lisa: Dad those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Yah right Lisa. A wonderful magical animal

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Originally posted by Daze One Million

Homer: Lisa honey, are you saying that you are never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Porkchops?

Lisa: Dad those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Yah right Lisa. A wonderful magical animal

 

:lol:

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I came up with a theory a couple of years ago that the average person aged say, 16 to 25, uses at least one simpson quote per day. My friends all laughed at me and said "no way" and "thats stupid" and "your fly's open". So i took it upon myself to point it out every time they used a simpson quote. After about a year of this, we all agreed that the average person in that age bracket actually uses anywhere between 3 and 5 simpson quotes a day.

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"Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?"



 

"Ah, Andy Capp, you wife beating drunk!"

 

"..sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works..."

 

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such..."

 

"My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r..."

 

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

 

"You can't depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us."

 

"The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else.."

 

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

 

"Lisa: It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.

Homer: Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."

 

"Homer: I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it's no big deal. You know why?

Selma: No.

Sideshow Bob: Go on.

Homer: Whenever Marge turns on one of her "non-violent" programs, I take a walk. I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for looooove. [puts his hand on Marge's lap]

Marge: [smiles, takes his hand]"

 

"

God: Thou hast forsaken My Church!

Homer: Uh, kind-of... b-but...

God: But what!

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

God: [pause] Hmm... You've got a point there."

 

"Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories"

 

"Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

 

"Don't worry, Marge. America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well, all of Europe, but you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

 

"All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Homer's brain: It's a deal!"

 

" Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.

Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.

Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me -- no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

 

"Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

 

"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way."

 

"Lisa: But he was the only person that had the same love for music that I do. Oh, Dad, why did he have to die?

Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over.

Lisa: Uh huh.

Homer: Remember, honey?

Lisa: Yeah.

Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman."

 

 

 

"Bart: These uniforms suck!

Marge: Bart! Where do you pick up words like that?

Homer: [on phone] Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth!

Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening."

:lol:

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one of my favorites is Chief Wiggums kid, Ralph

 

Ralph: Just like the little elf that tells me to burn things.

 

Leprechaun appears on Ralph's shoulder...

 

Leprechaun: BURN 'EM! BURN 'EM ALL!!!

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"I don't wanna look stupid, I'll just take the moomoo"

 

Otto looks at his hands "oh thats right I married that chick"

 

"Remember the time you dropped your keys and we thought it was the phone ringing"

 

"you know they call them fingers, but i've never seen them fing........oh there they go."

 

Grandpa when he fell in love with marges mom, saying this in his head "Whats this feeling, I think i'm in love.......oh wait it's a stroke"

 

and the best scene ever is when moe's pickle jar gets broken, he cleans it up and says "ohhhhh i should have taken more pictures" and it shows him with the pickle jar on the beach and shit with "memories" playing in the background

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Guest im not witty

ralph: "whats for lunch tommorow?"

 

lunchlady: NEXT!

 

ralph: "Chicken necks?"

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Originally posted by wiseguy

in the episode where bart gets tethered to homer. "aaahhh! cobras, cobras!"

 

:lol:

That was a good one.

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marge: the plant called and said if you dont go in tomorrow dont bother coming in on monday.

homer: wooho! 4 day weekend!

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i like em all. my favorite episode is when he eats the toxic pepper and starts tripping. money. i like that and when hes a food critic and gives everyone terrible reviews. good stuff. good quotes out of em too, i just cant remember em any right now..

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