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=+= J's Mega-awesome-thread =+= "The Plan" =+=


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ok, we'll travel over to your part of the globe and

you can rub down adriana with sunscreen.

 

Seriously, i gotta learn.

and i can't find any bathing suits that fit me

right besides Victorias secret.

thus the $40 one piece.

highway robbery, i tell you.

 

man, they have some cute new suits out i'd

be sporting if i lived in brazil.

too expensive tho.

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It don't get much better than swimming a good distance out, so that the water is at least 15 feet (4.5 meters) deep, and you can look down and see your shadow on the floor. And it's as calm as a lake, and crystal clear...and when you swim to the bottom the temperature drops significantly, and you can swim with your eyes open and see clearly, and not irritate your eyes...and just float on your back and look up at the hills covered with ancient olive trees.

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Originally posted by Tesseract

you serioulsy cant swim?...i mean not at all?...since this is a self improvement thread i can help you out a bit

not at all.

I plan on taking a class through the chicago park district.

are there really things you can suggest?

the problems:

*i hate water going up my nose at all.

~ the solution: obviously, getting nose plugs

 

*i hate getting water in my eyes (and i wear contacts)

~the solution: obviously, getting goggles.

 

because of the above it makes it very hard for me to stay afloat. I figure if i conquer the above i should have no prob.

It should be quite a sight, in this nice bathing suit with my face geared up like a sea monster.

 

also, sometimes i get freaked out by the feeling of floating.

no bottom...kinda creepy.

thats just somethin i gotta get used to.

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Originally posted by CinchedWaist

not at all.

I plan on taking a class through the chicago park district.

are there really things you can suggest?

the problems:

*i hate water going up my nose at all.

~ the solution: obviously, getting nose plugs

 

*i hate getting water in my eyes (and i wear contacts)

~the solution: obviously, getting goggles.

 

because of the above it makes it very hard for me to stay afloat. I figure if i conquer the above i should have no prob.

It should be quite a sight, in this nice bathing suit with my face geared up like a sea monster.

 

also, sometimes i get freaked out by the feeling of floating.

no bottom...kinda creepy.

thats just somethin i gotta get used to.

 

you should really just jump into the water once and for all, you'll see it doesn't bite... swimming rules!

once you get the hang of it, getting wet is actually an awesome feeling ! [undertone block]

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i'll be honest. I don't like running.

don't like the feeling.

 

I took kickboxing for quite a bit and kept

a punching bag by my mom's house...

that was kinda nice but it was in her basement and

i didn't like it down there (not enough room).

 

If I lived somewhere where there was forest or rapids,

best believe i love the adventure aspect of exercise.

Hiking, white water rafting (so fun), spelunking (fun, so hard), and mountain climbing (haven't yet, would like to).

 

But chicago is chicago, and all we have are gyms.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

Dude, I seriously can't imagine what it's like to not be able to swim. I can't remember not being able to, it's just so second-nature. By kicking with your arms and legs in a certain direction, your body moves in the opposite direcion. It's as simple as that.

 

As for water in the nose, don't bother with noseplugs, they'll be a pain in the ass. The best way is to learn to control your breathing... by blowing just a tiny amount of air out your nose, you prevent water from coming in. Furthermore, water only comes in when the nostril faces upwards; as long as it faces down, the air pressure keeps the water out.

 

 

Kilo, those are some pretty murderous planche excercise... for like, gymnasts who have their shit on lock somewhat. The method I know (Kujo taught me it) is a lot more gradual and easy. I just need to find proper illustrations and I'll drop shit down.

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Originally posted by Pinup

getting wet is actually an awesome feeling !

I'll say! :)

 

i like being in the water (i'm a cancer after all).

its just, i never learned!

 

ya know, its prob b/c when we'd go to the lake when i was younger the lifeguards wouldn't let us in deep.

So i guess i just got used to the shallow water and there was no reason to learn.

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by CinchedWaist

not at all.

I plan on taking a class through the chicago park district.

are there really things you can suggest?

the problems:

*i hate water going up my nose at all.

~ the solution: obviously, getting nose plugs

 

*i hate getting water in my eyes (and i wear contacts)

~the solution: obviously, getting goggles.

 

 

Ok, do that...then go to a pool and stay in the area where the water reaches your chest. Then use a watch or something small that wont float and drop it like 3 meters away from you. Take a big breath and go underwater to get it. I know it sounds stupid but since you're not worried about floating and you already hold your breath its the best way to realise that you CAN swim. after you do this enough and feel secure about being able to move in the water you can get more relax....relaxed body=floats, tense body=drawns....thats just starters here, attending a swimming pool lesson course is the best way still.

 

good luck, the mediterannean awaits

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Guest imported_Tesseract

word! i'm glad it sounds appealing to you cause it can really sound stupid aswell....its the perfect icebreaker with swimming....all the other stuff like floatboards and things like that make you feel good aslong as you use them, once the help is out you feel like drawning....get good !

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Guest Pilau Hands

This is an inspirational thread, j. I think it's how everyone tries to feel on New Year's Eve when they make resolutions. But the chainsmoking and binge drinking a week later tends to knock most people off the shelf. I wish you luck on your path, and as most of the replies indicate, you're not alone in feeling the self-improvement bug, let alone the fact that most people have the very problems you're working on.

 

I'm trying to do a little self-improvement this year also. "Man-scaping" if you will.

 

Chee!

 

Oh shit! Undertone Immunity*

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by Pilau Hands

"Man-scaping"

 

Oh man, that's one letter away from becoming an undertone.

 

 

Tesseration of the week: drawning

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by El Mamerro

Tesseration of the week: drawning

 

 

its when you draw so much you cant breath....

 

 

 

dick

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Originally posted by El Mamerro

As for water in the nose, don't bother with noseplugs, they'll be a pain in the ass. The best way is to learn to control your breathing... by blowing just a tiny amount of air out your nose, you prevent water from coming in. Furthermore, water only comes in when the nostril faces upwards; as long as it faces down, the air pressure keeps the water out.

thanks for your advice too...

I'm still squeamish about the water in nose thing tho

so until i got this swimmin thing down

i think i have to bring the plugs.

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no, he died from autoerotic asphyxiation.

kind of similar...but not.

 

guys, i have to admit something.... i'm honestly scared of water.

i can 'swim', or atleast i can make myself go in the general direction i want to, but im generally too scared to do it. if i cant touch the bottom, i dont go that far in.

when i was in rome last summer at the beach, on the grounds of nero's old castle, i 'swam' about 150 feet out to this little rocky island thing. ttboy an inkL swam otu with me. then they swam back to shore.

i was stuck.

i sat out on the rock for about an hour, till i realized the tide was going to go so low that i could simply walk back to shore, so i finally jumped in, and very nervously swam back to shore.

it was seriously a monumental moment for me.

 

so yeah, i hope that doesnt jepordize my team membership.

sorry to let you all down.

:(

 

 

seeks/in michigan, you are never more than a couple miles from a body of water. i forget the exact distance.

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Talked to some people about racquetball.. turns out there's a league/tournament going on in our department.. several of the people signed up have never even played racquetball before. Man, did I luck out or what?

 

Also, a research assistant here who I thought was single and interested in me, turned out to be married.. lol @ me.

 

You guys are giving a lot of good advice so far.. swimming and those planche exercises (I'd definitely be willing to give it a serious try Mamerro.. hook us up) look good to me.. along with some serious weight training. Seeking's tips for upper body sound good, which is where I need it. Thanks again.

 

My plan tonight is to get some measurements (and a notebook) so that I can chart my progress. I'm definitely sticking to this.

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Originally posted by seeking

guys, i have to admit something.... i'm honestly scared of water.

i can 'swim', or atleast i can make myself go in the general direction i want to, but im generally too scared to do it. if i cant touch the bottom, i dont go that far in.

 

Don't feel bad.. I'm the same way. Ditto on the "water up the nose" bit.. I can't stand that at all. All this discussion is making me come up with even more things that i can improve on.. which is a good thing I suppose

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Guest BROWNer

good to see fellow nerds love the swim styles.

you guys that aren't swimmers need to get down

on that shit...as stated, it is seriously one of the dopest things

ever, becuz:

1) water is just plain fucking rad beyond comprehension

2) moving through it is super stokin'

3) swimming is awesome for you with no impact related problems(like joggig)

4) in the summer, swimming in a gorgeous lake/ocean surrounded by

mountains and nature and blue summery sky and hot women is just too fucking ill.

locals at my pool call me 'the fish'. i get down like that :king:

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

 

Alright, so you people are up to the challenge. Keep in mind, progress is different for everyone, so if you have a hard time overcoming the stances or find yourself stuck with no improvement, it obviously means you fucking suck. So try harder goddamit.

 

The first thing you must understand about planches is that regardless of how burly they look, they're only about 30% strength and 70% balance/control. So the first thing you have to work on is balance; namely, how to hold your body aloft with your hands. Developing balance itself will build almost all the strength you need in your upper body, since your muscles will constantly be readjusting and flexing to hold your weight in place. If any of you remember your first time snowboarding, how the day after all sorts of shit in your body hurt... it's exactly the same thing. Your muscles weren't used to be constantly flexing slightly to shift your weight, so you worked the shit out of them without even knowing.

 

So with no further ado, Step 1: The Frog Stance

 

I searched like a maniac trying to find a picture of this thing, and the only thing I could find was this dumbshit kid:

 

http://www.gymskools.com.au/assets/images/events/vicextremeendeavour/threepoint.jpg'>

 

 

and this dumbershit gif:

 

http://www.gymskools.com.au/assets/images/challenges/frogbalance.gif'>

 

 

I also found the following picture, which is not quite a frog stance but I'm including it cause it's fucking hysterical:

 

http://www.bodyresults.com/_iexer/frog.jpg'>

 

 

 

So here's what you have to do:

 

Like the little kid above, crouch down with your knees set fairly wide apart, enough for both your arms to fit comfortably inside the space. Place your hands on the floor, croak loudly while consuming small flying insects, and secrete odious toxins from glands in your back. Your hands should be set slightly wider than your shoulders, pointing forward, and your elbows should face slightly to the side; they should settle right in the nook formed behind your bent knee, between the calf and the thigh.

 

Now comes the part where you fall on your face.

 

Slowly shift your weight forward while bending your arms, and transfer the weight from your feet up to your hands. Optimally, your forearms will be in a straight-down line (see: green gif), and will act as pillars to hold the weight. The nook behind your knee should fit comfortably on top of your elbows. Let go of your feet by tapping off with your toes, slightly harder each time, until you go overboard and eat shit. Now you know where the threshhold lies; continue trying to push off until you land right on the threshhold, and HOLD it. This might take some time depending on how good your natural balance is, but in less than a week you should be able to hold it pretty good. You'll notice that once you're able to get it down, your forearms will tremble like a motherfuck. This is the aforementioned billion-times-a-second flexing of muscles to stabilize your wrists; as you get better the shaking lessens.

 

This excercise is just a balance primer, and begins working your wrist strength, but not much else. Holding your body like that is much easier because of the straight-pillar position of the arm... your bones hold the weight, not your flexed muscles. Holding your body cantilevered like a real planche is gonna take some serious muscle.

 

And that's it for lesson 1. Once you have that down pat, we'll move to lesson 2: The Tucked Planche.

 

 

 

 

By the way, Browner... the reason one minute a day works is because it's basically fucking impossible to hold a planche (tucked or spread) for a full minute. You'll be holding these things for no more than 5-6 seconds at a time, and if you do them constantly for a minute they'll run a number on your arms and back. The best way to do this is to stretch it out during the day, try it like 20 times, and you'll have a minute. The constant repetition not only eases the load, but helps build muscle memory and balance.

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