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Milton

Obligatory New Years Anecdote

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So two days ago my girl, who I've been dating for over a year, and I decide to be committed and not fool around with other people. However, tonight she decided to hang out and get drunk with her man-hating friends and some people she knows from college. So I was planning to hang out with my girl on the side and try to get a threesome going, but after our decision to be faithful I didn't think that was a good idea. I've never cheated on a girl thank you. And then ho on the side calls me up to tell me shes going to a party at her cousins and he said no guys. So thats cool its around 5. So I call my friend to see whats up and he's like "yaa, its cool, I'll pick you up as soon as I get off of work." So I'm thinking alright, I hit up subway, clean up a little. Then I'm waiting. He's been off for like an hour so I call him. And he says to me "hey, sorry man theres too many cops out, I'm gonna go home." So now its like 9:30. So I run a bath and chop up some vicadins (for which I have a perscription). So I'm chillin in the bath, no homo, and calling up anyone I can think of and now its about 10 and I get ahold of my friend who gives me an address to a party and says "when you get to the door ask for Kevin." So I get ready and drive to this spot and on the way I see my boy who "couldn't hang out cause the cops" pulled over on the highway. So I get to the house pop a couple more vicadins (for which I have a valid perscription) and knock on the door. This party just happens to be a party of people that went to my highschool, which was weird, but they don't know the dude I'm supposed to meet, so I go to another house on the block. It happens to be a frat house but there are obviously partiers inside. So dude at the door is like "who do you know?" and I'm like "Kevin" so he lets me in. I kick it for about 40 minutes until "Kevin" finds me and informs me that he's never heard of my friend and that I should leave. So I call my friend back and he says he gave me the wrong address, and that he doesn't know anybody in that frat. So I get to the address he gives me and there are 3 parties on this block. So I go the first house and he is nowhere to be found, but there are hippies all about and it smells of insense. So I chill for like 10 minutes and then wander out and by this time its like 11:55 and I go to the next house and by the time I get it there on like 6 in the countdown, and some chick, good looking at that, grabs me and kisses me. Which was cool. Then I go downstairs and find my boy drunk as shit hitting on some girl. So then this Indian dude starts shoving him a little and like telling him to leave her alone, but the girl calms him down and he leaves. 10 minutes later he comes back and starts yelling "I told you not to fucking talk to her" etc. And shoves my boy, so I step in and am like "hes just talking to her, hes drunk move on." And dude tries to shove me. So I, totally out of character, hit him square in the mouth and he like bunches up and falls down. The girl starts laughing. I'm like fuck this and I go upstairs. I see another dude I know with what seems to be his girl making out, so he introduces us when hes done, and like 5 mintues later he goes the the bathroom. So the chick like gets all close to me, but I just figured she was drunk. So she starts grabbing the croch area of my pants and telling me that her and my friend are just dating, not together. So I let the bird alone and go back to tell my friend about it, and this dude whos house it is starts yelling and throwing things and telling everyone to get out. So I leave and come home, where I am now, but 2 minutes ago some girl called me with her 4 friends and said they're coming over...

 

HOOO AHHHHH

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i'm guessing its because there was already too many threads with "new years" in the title, noone bothered to click.

 

that and you make too many threads.

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well it pretty lame untill the last couple sentences in which case it looks like your nights about to pick up;)

 

 

or in this case, did pick up:o

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there is no such thing as commitment! im pritty trashed, 12:00Pm and im drinkin again! happy new year!

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Ohhh shit, so the birds come over and I have a few drinks and then they drive me to some french kids house which is like some million dollar house and stuff so I proceed to spill 7up on his carpet and he starts freaking out and yelling at me. And I'm like chill man its 7up and hes like "I told you not to have zee beverages down here" and then I'm kinda puzzled, and he throws some paper towels at me and tells his friend "zees people need to leave right now." So then we came back here and harassed my bastard neighbor...

 

My advice:

Beer before vodka you've never been sicker.

Don't mind the french, they're just mad they didn't catch Saddam.

7up comes off of floors, and if you have a maid, why are u worrying anyway?

Even if your coat was 4 bucks dont tell women that, it turns them off....

 

 

HOLLER

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I forgot to add that I spilled water from the sink on my pants in the bathroom, sinks are a bitch when you're drunk. And then the girls wouldn't sit by me cause they thought I urinated on myself...

 

Yippee

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Originally posted by Milton

And I'm like chill man its 7up and hes like "I told you not to have zee beverages down here"

HOLLER

ha ha ha ha,,,,funny

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