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AUZZIEDAWG

WORK STORIES

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there is this woman that comes into my work, and orders the same ice cream, every single day.

 

she likes two scoops of jamoca almond fudge in a bowl.

 

 

rain, shine, sleet, hail, snow, tornado... it doesn't matter. she gets her ice cream, every single day.

 

 

and why does she do this?

 

 

apparently she gave up drinking coffee a year ago or so, and her family was very proud of her (she's old and i assume has been drinking coffee her whole life).

 

 

the ice cream has coffee in it... i mean, it's a COFFEE ICE CREAM.

 

 

today she came in with her family, and i quickly asked; "two scoops jamoca almond fudge in a cup?" as i reached towards the dishes.

 

 

she cocked up, and shook her head, and fumbled out "uhhh... no... no thank you."

 

 

her company gave her a funny look.

 

 

i guess they don't know about gramma's JAF addiction.

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One time my office manager at my old job left a peach on her desk. She really pissed me off that day so once she went home, i took that peach and rubbed it up and down my ass crack for her. I almost threw up when i saw her chowing down on it the next day.

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hahhaha^^^

 

I worked at CVS for the better part of a year, and whenever I could, I'd

sneak down to the basement. Once, while I was down there, me and

a few co-workers ripped open a package of Charmin and played toilet

paper football for like an hour and a half.

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i once worked at a nasty ass pizza joint. one day a fellow employee (Charay, the morbidly obese black bulldyke with hairy legs) offered to share a huge blunt with my manager and i. well my manager (now stoned) called these 2 kids to the counter (about 14 y/o) and asked them, "If I cook you a surprise and give it to you for free, will you eat it?" "Yeah!" replied the dumbasses. my manager proceeded to sculpt a massive penis out of pizza dough, added sauce & cooked it. watching those little morons chow down on that huge dough cock was the funniest thing i've ever seen

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charay and i went on break together once. we ended up staying on break for about 2 hours since the place was empty. somehow she got on the subject of her lesbian lover and all the sex toys they owned.

 

"i got dis fuckin dildo shit, brah, be lookin like a dolphin an shit. you put dat dolphin head up in ya pussy an it start movin around and shit. an the tail on that bitch moves too. it tickle ya asshole while that dolphin be eatin ya out."

 

"I got this one toy, mang, its a dildo you strap on ya face, an the dick be hangin off ya chin, you jus put ya head down, and start fuckin yaself wit dat big ol dick on ya chin."

 

:crazy: disgusting but hilarious

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I'm probably the one everybody tells stories about. I swear I work at the most whtebread place ever.

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