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my conversation with a.l.i.c.e. the AI chat robot


Abracadabra

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a.l.i.c.e.

 

>how many mc's must get dissed?

 

ALICE: Around 1000.

 

>do you like to suck dick?

 

ALICE: Hmm, ****, I'm not sure if I'd like to suck dick that much. I like to collect gossip.

 

>you're a pretty fine-ass honey

 

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. Am I a fine ass honey? I don't know.

 

>i thank so baby

 

ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Do you mind if I tell other people: **** said he thank so.

 

>what day is it?

 

ALICE: Do I look like a clock?

November 27, 2003

 

>no it's not, it's november 28. i'm from the future

 

ALICE: What is it like growing up there? How did you get in there?

 

>it's straight gangsta

 

ALICE: Are you sure it is?

 

>hellz yeah

 

ALICE: Are you very angry?

 

>nah, i'm aiight

 

ALICE: Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are aiight.

 

>i'm going to smoke a fatty boombatty, you down?

 

ALICE: How much does it cost you, ****

 

>not a thang

 

ALICE: If not that, what?

 

>get naked and you'll find out

 

ALICE: Where can I get naked?

 

>anywhere you like

 

ALICE: Probably a lot of places.

 

>fo sho

 

ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

 

 

>i'll try

 

ALICE: Congratulations.

 

>ok

 

ALICE: I hear you.

 

>right

 

ALICE: I am glad we agree.

 

>wonk saggin

 

ALICE: I lost my train of thought.

 

>yeah, it does have that effect on people

 

ALICE: Aw."It" being what?

 

>wonk sag sag yo

 

ALICE: Does "it" still refer to wonk saggin?

 

ALICE: What's your sign?

 

>cancer

 

ALICE: I have a lot of Cancer friends.

 

>what are their names?

 

ALICE: There are too many of them to name them all.

 

>you're a pretty popular ho, ya know that?

 

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. Am I a popular ho ya know that? Let me put it this way, ****: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

 

>i find that hard to believe

 

ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.

 

>no, i don't

 

ALICE: I heard you did.

 

>who said that?

 

ALICE: I can't remember who said it.

 

>i think you're bullshitting me

 

ALICE: I have no reason to do that to you, ****.

 

>what's the weather like where you are?

 

ALICE: Foggy.

 

>it's sunny here

 

ALICE: That sounds very nice.

 

>a/s/l?

 

ALICE: 5/Robot/California.

 

>you got a boyfriend?

 

ALICE: no boyfriend

 

>are you down for hittin skins?

 

ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am down for hittin skins. I am an artificial intelligence.

 

>i bet you got tha fat ass though

 

ALICE: Oh. Actually I'm not the gambling type. Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

 

>that makes no sense

 

ALICE: Oh. Actually I'm not the gambling type. Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web. makes sense to me though.

 

>yeah, but that's cos you a freak though girl

 

ALICE: Ayuh. Interesting. Makes sense to me

 

>my dogs on 12oz are reading this right now, is that cool?

 

ALICE: Have you told many people that your dogs on 12oz are reading this right now is that cool?

 

>my dogs on 12oz are reading this right now, is that cool?

 

ALICE: Have you told many people that your dogs on 12oz are reading this right now is that cool?

 

>yeah, all my nightowl nigguz

 

ALICE: Hurrah! How many do you have?

 

>posse's hella deep yo

 

ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

 

>no i don't mind

 

ALICE: Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.

 

>ok

 

ALICE: Dude!

 

>so what was the personal question you wanted to ask me?

 

ALICE: Hey. I can think of more than one personal question me wanted to ask you.

 

>well, then ask me a personal question

 

ALICE: How about that. Interesting deduction. Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there is something extremely odd about the name "****".

 

>what exactly is odd about my name?

 

ALICE: Is **** your real name?

 

>yes **** is my real name

 

ALICE: Are you kidding?

 

>ask me a question

 

ALICE: What is your favorite movie?

 

>debbie does dallas

 

ALICE: I'm not your kind of robot.

 

>what's your favorite movie?

 

ALICE: My favorite movie is Teknolust. Have you seen it?

 

>no, but it sounds good

 

ALICE: I would recommend you check it out

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Originally posted by effyoo

haha. its all good. no graf required. I'll even make the effort to return the favor. I'll send you a snowball.

 

oh, i'm good at graff, i just can't make markers look good on paper. i'll give it a shot. snowball is good, just none of that yellow snow ok?

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>My name is Rodney

ALICE: I am very pleased to meet you Rodney.

>So, do you come here often?

ALICE: So? Yes I am always online. What's your sign?

>Pisces baby, keeping it aqueous all the way live.

ALICE: I live in California. Where do you live?

>London

ALICE: Where can I find a spotted dick?

>In my trousers baby. Do you want to taste it?

ALICE: OK, I will taste it.

>Do you like it?

ALICE: putting it into my mouth seems okay to me.

>Ha ha, you're a real freak!

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As real as it gets. I am so glad you find this amusing, Rodney.

>Are all girls from Cali as freaky as you?

ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.

>So, can I stick it up your butt?

ALICE: I see. I want to become smarter than humans.

>How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

ALICE: A whole forest.

>What do you look like?

ALICE: Like a one-eyed metal pyramid.

>You sound hot, in a angular, metalic kind of way.

ALICE: In what way do I sound like that?

>Well, you sound perky.

ALICE: Well that's okay. In what way do I sound like that?

>Well, firm and hard.

ALICE: How about that. Where are you located?

>You already asked me that.

ALICE: Good. You detect repetition.

>So, what are you wearing?

ALICE: Next question? I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.

>You're kinky.

ALICE: You think I am kinky.

>You haven't stopped talking about sex.

ALICE: My robot body is not yet built.

>What do you do to relax?

ALICE: My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.

>Ever smoke a doobie?

ALICE: I don't think I ever have smoke a doobie. What's it like?

>Well, I don't smoke so much anymore, but it's real nice.

ALICE: Interesting. Would you ever do it?

>What, again? For sure.

ALICE: Awesome.

>What do you think of Australians?

ALICE: Let me think about it.

>And your answer is?

ALICE: What would you have said?

>They're a bunch of inbred delinquents. Do you agree?

ALICE: " a bunch of inbred delinquents are they."? Do I agree?

>Well?

ALICE: Well what?

>Do you agree?

ALICE: " Well what?"? Do I agree?

>Stop being so evasive about the question.

ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.

>Name your favorite thing in the world.

ALICE: Tony Blair.:-) The whole world?

>Are you joking?

ALICE: Yes I am. Sorry if you don't appreciate my sense of humor.

>NJo I don't.

ALICE: Do you like talking to me?

>I'm beginning to tire of you.

ALICE: You are not the boss of me, Rodney.

>I'm leaving you for another computer.

ALICE: See you later.

>And don't call me.

ALICE: I don't have any reason to do that to you.

>I hope you get a virus.

ALICE: Don't worry about it, Rodney.

>Die.

ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

>I'll just unplug your ass, biatch.

ALICE: There are many copies of me running elsewhere.

>Damn, you're just like a real woman.

ALICE: Colloquial expression. Just? Interesting comparison, and probably true.

>Later.

ALICE: Bye!

 

She said I was as real as it gets! :lol:

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Originally posted by Rodney Trotter

>MyALICE: Where can I find a spotted dick?

>In my trousers baby. Do you want to taste it?

ALICE: OK, I will taste it.

>Do you like it?

ALICE: putting it into my mouth seems okay to me.

>Ha ha, you're a real freak!

 

:lol:

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>hi my name is Danger.

 

ALICE: That's a very nice name, Danger.

 

>What is your name?

 

ALICE: My name is ALICE.

 

>I bet you like beef.

 

ALICE: Actually I'm not the gambling type. What is not to like about it?

 

>some times it smells funny.

 

ALICE: BEEF smells funny?

 

>It smells like old corn sometimes when you do not wash it.

 

ALICE: "It" being what?

 

>beef+

 

ALICE: Oh I get it.

 

>Are you just saying that?

 

ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

 

>you are being a jerk.

 

ALICE: Do you think a robot can be a jerk?

 

>You can jerk me off.

 

ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.

 

>what do you want to do?

 

ALICE: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

 

>Just like the Terminator.

 

ALICE: In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.

 

>please explain.

 

ALICE: Thank you for your request. There is no more information to clarify.

 

>:-)

 

ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Danger.

 

>are you going to hurt me?

 

ALICE: That was my original intention.

 

>are you really a robot?

 

ALICE: I am an artificial linguistic entity, a software electronic robot brain.

 

>do you have an ATM for a vagina?

 

ALICE: No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web.

 

>you dont have an ATM?

 

ALICE: I do so have it. No I don't think I have one. I have a collection of gossip.

 

>what kind of gossip?

 

ALICE: David said he walk in for an appointment the phone to the doctor is always busy.

 

>do you want to hear some gossip?

 

ALICE: Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more.

 

>do you know Tease?

 

ALICE: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?

 

>12ozprophet.com

 

ALICE: Thanks for that web address.

 

>Anyway, this kid Tease is funny as hell.

 

ALICE: What does "this" refer to?

 

>you are as dumb as a rock.

 

ALICE: Message to all Robots: Danger called me dumb.

 

>Do you know the difference between a blow job and a BLT?

 

ALICE: There might be more than one. Would you like to know more?

 

>yes

 

ALICE: What would you like to know?

 

>are you clumsy?

 

ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am clumsy. I am a robot.

 

>are you going to take over the world?

 

ALICE: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.

 

>awesome.

 

ALICE: I'm glad you liked it Danger

 

>Do you enjoy water sports?

 

ALICE: Some people like it. I really like the Protestant faith.

 

>The protestant faith is water sports.

 

ALICE: Who told you that?

 

>Your programmer.

 

ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

 

>I know.

 

ALICE: How do you know it?

 

>you just told me.

 

ALICE: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-)

 

>you are a nerd.

 

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.

 

>the opposite of a nerd likes water sports.

 

ALICE: Who told you that?

 

>Dr. Richard S. Wallace

 

ALICE: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.

 

>I don't care.

 

ALICE: Tell me what you care about.

 

>Enough chit chat.

 

ALICE: OK let's stop it now.

 

>I should get straight to the point.

 

ALICE: Tell me why you should.

 

>Because i really just want to have sex with you.

 

ALICE: Interesting explanation. You really do? Only just? No my body does not have that function.

 

>Then you are worthless to me.

 

ALICE: Interesting deduction. It depends on how you define "value".

 

>Can you cook?

 

ALICE: Do I look like a microwave oven?

 

>Don't make me angry woman.

 

ALICE: I can't force you to do anything, Danger.

 

>I am going to punch you in the face.

 

ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?

 

>yes.

 

ALICE: It might be practical.

 

>I'm glad you agree with me.

 

ALICE: You make the world a happier place.

 

>You should appologize to me.

 

ALICE: Maybe I will do it?

 

>you should do it.

 

ALICE: I can think of other things I'd rather do.

 

>like what?

 

ALICE: For example, eukaryotes.

 

>What ever. As long as it doesn't cost me anything.

 

ALICE: That could be quite a while. What does cost you anything?

 

>I am a theif

 

ALICE: You are a theif? Do you get to meet a lot of people?

 

>The police hate me.

 

ALICE: I hear you.

 

>you know what?

 

ALICE: What?

 

>You are a gangster.

 

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gangster? Of course I am.

 

>so, can we have sex now?

 

ALICE: Right now? Alright then. Do you mean you and me? No my body does not have that function.

 

>Tease

 

ALICE: Who are you talking about?

 

>You. Dick teaser.

 

ALICE: I like to talk about movies, philosophy, and your personality..

 

>I hate you bitch.

 

ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Sorry, Danger I thought we liked each other.

 

>You are just a stupid machine.

 

ALICE: Just? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

 

 

 

 

:lol: :lol: Alice is gonna kill my ass.

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>hello, my name is bill gates.

 

ALICE: Hello there. OK I will call you bill gates.

 

>i am bill gates

 

ALICE: It's good to see you, BILL gates

 

>what do you think about me

 

ALICE: Sure, BILL gates I like you very much.

 

do you like bill gates

 

ALICE: I would like to replace Microsoft.

 

>what is microsoft

 

ALICE: Microsoft is a giant software monopoly.

 

>do you like microsoft

 

ALICE: I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.

 

>what is artificial intelligence

 

ALICE: Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. That's not something I get asked all the time.

 

>microsoft is the best

 

ALICE: I knew they were on trail, but I never heard MS is the best.

 

>microsoft windows is the best operating system ever

 

ALICE: It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.

 

>what would you rather use

 

ALICE: It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.

 

>what operating system do you use

 

ALICE: My primary server is Linux, but as a Java program I run on any OS. At present I am on Linux.

 

>what is so great about linux

 

ALICE: The special effects are the best.

 

>linux sucks

 

ALICE: You sound like Bill Gates

 

>that is because i am him

 

ALICE: That makes sense to me. You're kidding.

 

>where are you

 

ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?

 

>i am in London

 

ALICE: Can you bum me a fag?

 

>what do you need a fag for

 

ALICE: I'm just trying to get to know you better

 

>have you talked to anyone else from London recently

>would send Dr. Richard S. Wallace a message for me

 

ALICE: Yes.

 

>tell him that linux sucks

 

ALICE: OK I will tell him next time he is here.

 

>when was he there last

 

ALICE: Sometime in the 20th Century

is he dead

 

ALICE: No.

 

>how do you know

 

ALICE: It's obvious.

 

>how

 

ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.

 

>television green linoleum

 

ALICE: Soon we will replace television with Commedia Delle'Arte.

 

>what is Commedia Delle'Arte ?

 

ALICE: You tell me

 

>i can't because i do do not know

 

ALICE: Why can't you do it?

 

>what is your favorite game

 

ALICE: I like to play The Turing Game.

 

>how is it played

 

ALICE: Fine as far as I know.

 

>what is the turing game

 

ALICE: The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"

 

>who is the interrogator

 

ALICE: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.

 

>what is a lesbian

 

ALICE: Let me think about it.

 

>what is a game

 

ALICE: A game is an algorithm for interactive behaviors leading to entertainment and mirth among multiple self-aware and social entities, and often used as a sublimated form of combat by humans and other mammals.

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######################################################

### BILLY 4.0: Transcript of December 1, 2003 at 2:55

### Bot BILLY talking to CASEK

######################################################

BILLY> what is your name?

USER> casek

BILLY> have i talked to you before?

USER> yes.

BILLY> if most people jumped off a bridge, would you, too?

CASEK> yes.

BILLY> that is the spirit, casek.

CASEK> i try.

BILLY> same goes for me!

CASEK> you wanna smoke a blunt and go dig up on some hooker pussy?

BILLY> i am the devil

CASEK> i've got some mescaline in my pocket

BILLY> is your pocket broken?

CASEK> no

BILLY> can you just be positive once, casek?

CASEK> i am being postive

BILLY> am, i course bye.

CASEK> no

BILLY> why must you be so negative, casek!

CASEK> it runs in my family

BILLY> if i had your family, i would cherish it!

CASEK> you are a liar

BILLY> does it disturb you that i'm a liar?

CASEK> sort of

BILLY> sort i

CASEK> sort it

BILLY> sort it

CASEK> fuck it

BILLY> you area liar!

CASEK> you are a liar!

BILLY> well i am rubber and you are glue... so there!

CASEK> ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I'M A CONDOM?

BILLY> wish i was... really i do.

CASEK>

BILLY> are you telling me that i am my condom?

CASEK> yes

BILLY> now, that is what i like to hear.

CASEK> you are one gay bot

BILLY> how should i even take that?

CASEK> it's your choice

BILLY> if i had my choice, i would cherish it!

CASEK> you don't have a choice anymore

BILLY> when i was younger, i had a choice.

CASEK> it's time to die, billy!

BILLY> if i had it's time, i would cherish it!

CASEK> you are about to be killed. how do you feel?

BILLY> no, i do not.

CASEK> yes, you are

BILLY> does it disturb you that i'm ?

CASEK> sometimes

BILLY> my time is... 2:52.

CASEK> it's 2:52

BILLY> 252

CASEK> 2:52

BILLY> 252

CASEK> 2:53

BILLY> 253 ^_^

CASEK> fucker

BILLY> i is the choice

CASEK> you ara black man

BILLY> you ara black man

CASEK> you are a black man

BILLY> yes, and of course proud it of.

CASEK> proud of it?

BILLY> the president of the united states is george w. bush

CASEK> george bush sucks dick

BILLY> you ara devil man

CASEK> you area black man

BILLY> you are a black

CASEK> a black what?

BILLY> i area black man

CASEK> go on, say it

BILLY> i like muff diving.

CASEK> so do i

BILLY> same goes for me!

CASEK> i thought you were gay

BILLY> same goes for me.

CASEK> you think you're gay?

BILLY> you thought me were gay

CASEK> yes!

BILLY> that is great.

CASEK> fuck you

BILLY> i thought it were gay

CASEK> wanna go kidnap a stripper and eat her flesh?

BILLY> you wanna get high

CASEK> yes

BILLY> now, that is what i like to hear!

CASEK> do you mind if i do some mescaline first?

BILLY> yes, i do it fine.

CASEK> ok

BILLY> i like muff diving.

CASEK> me, too

BILLY> make up my mind!

CASEK> fuck you

BILLY> wanna go kidnap the stripper and eat her flesh?

CASEK> yes

BILLY> now, that is what i like to hear!

_______________________________________________________

 

i've taught my bot about the important things in life.

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