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S@T@N

Accidentally saying something really retarded.

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Yeah... so. I have this life/career planning class, right.. and for like 3

weeks we didn't have class because the instructor didn't come. When he

finally returned, I was sittin there all in this good mood and shit from a

previous class, so I ask the professor (jokingly) so what happened, you

go on a cruise or something? He forces a pitiful smile and says "no, my

father passed away." Talk about feeling like a jackass.

 

 

So yes, I know this happens to everyone. I know the irony of mine is

probably pretty fucking funny... so somebody make me laugh.

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haha yeah I did, he said not to sweat it... eh, I just felt like a jerk, that's

all. but uh.. yeah I kinda meant for you guys to post some stupid shit

you've said so I can laugh at you. haha.

 

 

and hey... is that you failing my thread? that sucks, did your dad die too?

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:lol: that made me laugh really hard...its happened to me many times I just dont remember specifics...

 

one time i was walking to class listening to headphones lookin at the groud while i was movin with swift ninja like speed, and someone ran into me, i kept walkin and looked back and said "what you fuckin blind." needless to say dude was blind...i looked around and no one else was there to hear it so i quickly ran to the building.

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this has happened to me alot.

 

one time it was my birthday..and we were going to the mall..and my stepdad starts grabbing big wads of cash from his car..and im like 'you dont have to'. then he put it in his pocket. that shit wasnt for me. and then i was like 'we dont have to go to the mall.' to try to save face.

 

im sure all add more to this. im tired now.

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I got hit with a classic. Some chick waved in my direction and i thought of course it was for me. I waved back and from behind me I hear "Sorry bro, that's not for you." only to see chicks boyfeiend waving to her.

 

Shit...i felt too lame to issue an acidic comeback.

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i hate when people wave in public towards a crowd u dont know who the fuck they are waving to. i mean for real anyone who waves at a large group of stranger with only one person they know in the group should be beaten. i just nod if someone does that. i waved once. never again waving is so 80's

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Ever accidentally put an instant messenger conversation with your boy about getting some from this chick from the club in a paper for class. Boy, that didn't go over well, especially cause I made reference to needing a machete to go down... Teacher was 57 and female... Ouch!

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Originally posted by Milton

Ever accidentally put an instant messenger conversation with your boy about getting some from this chick from the club in a paper for class.

 

Ever proofread?

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i was at this beach party one time...and this guy comes up and grabs a handful of m&m's and looked pissed off, so he starts throwing them in this guys cap (aiming like his playing basketball) so i start swatting the m&m's going "REJECTED" "REJECTED"!!!...and he looks at me and goes fuck you andrew!...i kinda just thought he was pissed about something else.

 

turns out he had just asked this girl out and she rejected him. so me swatting his m&m's he must of thought......

 

but i seriously had no idea.

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i have done stuff like that so many times, i think that i am prone to being an asshole or something. once, at a big shopping centre (a mall, for you americans) around christmas time there was this really big display christmas card. where everyone could write christmas greetings or whatever, and i figured that it was to stay on display at the mall over the christmas period. i friend of mine dared me to write "christmas carols suck" or something similar on it (we were retarded and 15, we thought that it was funny), because i had spent the whole afternoon bitching about the nasty christmas music on the sound system. being a retarded 15 year old i wrote it, and straight away, this girl walked up to me and said that it wasnt appropriate to write that because the card was going to the childrens hospital. i felt worse than i ever have in my life, cleaned it off and wrote "merry christmas" in its place, but damn, talk about doing something retarded. i was 15 at the time though...

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

Two weeks ago me and a friend are coming back from fishing and dropping off an older friend of ours at his pad, and he casually mentions his younger sister is 6 months pregnant, and that she and her husband are at his house. And the thing is, both his sister and her husband were former classmates of ours, which we hadn't seen in a long time, so we decided to come out of the car and said hi and congratulate them.

 

So we stand in the doorway, and eventually they both come out, and it was immediately awkward, because we were never really that good friends of theirs to begin with (they were two extremely weird people who got unexpectedly married very young fresh off high school and dissapeared from the face of the planet), just kinda knew them, you know? So they came out with this confused smile, like "What the hell are these guys doing here?". So you know, we play the nice card and say what's up, been a long time, congrats on the baby, when is it due, etc. While this is going on, girl's mom comes out and joins the conversation to say hi to us and how was the fishing, and whatever.

 

So after a few minutes of rigid, forced conversation, we come to an inevitable awkward silence. I was gonna break it with "So yeah, we're on our way, nice seeing you, good luck with the kid", but my friend beats me to it and asks, right in front of her mom:

 

"So, was this (points to her belly) like, planned, or was it an accident, or what?"

 

 

I literally took a couple of steps away from him and tried to hide behind the bushes. I could not believe the fucking idiocy. He was totally serious too, hadn't even paid attention to what he just said. The mom glares at him slackjawed, says "Bye, take care", and leaves, and the girl's husband is like, "Yeah, you know, sort of... we gotta get back to dinner. Nice seeing ya!", and they literally close the door on our faces.

 

And my friend notices me staring at him and asks "What? What the hell did I say?"

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3 weeks because his father died? Naturally they won't give the students more than one day off, and even that day requires a photograph and notorized death certificate signed in triplicate by every surviving member of the the family and the deceased.

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Guest im not witty

I was thinking about a thread sortof like this, but not so much for this, but more for converstions like when the lady at the deli counter says "enjoy your sandwich" and i say "thanks, you too"

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Originally posted by GnomeToys

3 weeks because his father died? Naturally they won't give the students more than one day off, and even that day requires a photograph and notorized death certificate signed in triplicate by every surviving member of the the family and the deceased.

:lol:

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Originally posted by E MARTYR

this goofy broad teacher i had in like 10th grade, her ass was anorexic like a mother fucker, and she had a daughter and then her husband left her and then she came to school and was busted as fuck looking, looked like she had put in a good 5 hours on the corner then came to class in her hooker gear. tore up from the flow up!

 

then she wouldnt even teach, she'd sit there on the verge of crying / contemplating suicide.

 

:lol:

 

i was like bitch! you better pass my ass if you arent gonna teach me this chemistry bullshit, i know yorue going through some ruff times but i aint trying to fail cuz you got problems...

 

:lol:

 

anymoney says you didnt actually say bitch. and were like..um i need like help and like um i know your having hard times right now...or something to that effect.

 

heres something that should go in the lazy thread:

i just cleaned this stain off my keyboard using cologne because i couldnt be bothered walking to the laundry to get spray and wipe...and on top of that im to lazy to go look for the lazy thread.

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I usually tell it how it is even if it gets me in trouble... and sometimes I express harsh opinions. I just happen to feel that the truth is more important than any one persons ego.

This is kinda of subject though. But yeah I've gotten myself into some shit.

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