heavyLox Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by -Rage- In water, yes. On land? Nay. obviously you need to find an arena that neither has the advantage. So to repose the question: in space whom would win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 WUHAHAHAHA, this thread is too funny. so yea um, great band huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by heavyLox obviously you need to find an arena that neither has the advantage. So to repose the question: in space whom would win? ok so now we have a venue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavyLox Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 the bear wins. the beat has five vehicals of attack. paws and jaws. shark has jaws. Im going for the bear with a KO in the 2nd round. unless the sharks corner tossed the towel b4 that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by BASF shark = two points of attack (jaw and the water which the bear will drown in once the shark has bitten into the bear) sorry but nope. A polar bear can stay underwater for a long time holding it's breath. I think we all agree that the fight would be damn quick, too quick for the bear to drown. and mamerro... your tank/machine gun argument is bunk. The shark must make contact with the bear to attack (not like a tank) and that opens him up to serious danger. Figuer that even with the largest shark, it's only about a foot from the jaws (attack spot) to the eyes (weak spot). A big bear has a reach of many feet, so it's got a much better defence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by heavyLox the bear wins. the beat has five vehicals of attack. paws and jaws. shark has jaws. Im going for the bear with a KO in the 2nd round. unless the sharks corner tossed the towel b4 that. in space? I'd say the shark could use its tail (which can lift its entire body out the water and deliver tailslaps) as well its jaws and would be more adapted 'floating' environment, having lived in water all its life, while a bear would would be slightly confused without a ground to stand on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 from animaldiversity.com Despite the world-wide attention given to the white shark through documentaries and articles, it remains one of the most poorly understood of the world's sharks. Unfortunately, the general population believes the white shark to be a mindless, random killers - man-eaters - largely because of movies like "Jaws" and other horror stories, and would feel safer if the species were eradicated. Exactly why sharks attack humans is unknown - possibly raw aggression, territoriality, or misidentification (i.e. the sillhoette of a person lying on a surfboard strongly resembles that of a seal or sea lion from below). What is known is that white sharks do not attack humans out of hunger; in other words, they do not attack people to eat them. Most attacks, even those that prove fatal, do not result in any consumption of the victim - whole or in part. If death occurs, it is likely to be the result of loss of blood, loss of tissue, or shock. where as polar bears attack just to eat things. The polar bear is a much more firece predator. You canSwim with Sharks , but it's crazy to be within 100 feet of a polar bear in the wild. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kilo7- sorry but nope. A polar bear can stay underwater for a long time holding it's breath. I think we all agree that the fight would be damn quick, too quick for the bear to drown. true, true, I forgot it was a polar, I thought it was a grizzer. Polar bears are almost like humans, they can walk on two feet.. I wanna watch this fight..How can we make this happen? The only simulation I can think of is getting small household pets and other creatures such as snakes, tarantulas, scorpions etc to fight each other, but nothing quite compares to bear vs shark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Forget sharks. Forget bears. You know what wins? This thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 we have a winner!!!! http://www.bearshark.com/html/images/html_05.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 fur tea http://www.angryalan.com/photohost/12ozalbum/polarbear3.jpg'> This is my homie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 shark - 5000lbs, 20 ft (from greatwhite.org) bear - The Adult male polar bears weigh from 775 to more than 1,500 pounds. Females are considerably smaller, normally weighing 330 to 550 pounds. The polar bear's Latin name, Ursus maritimus, or "Sea Bear," refers to the animal's close association with the Arctic's chilly waters. Alone among bears, the polar bear is considered a marine mammal. Polar bears are often seen along open leads, where they hunt seals, as well as on the pack ice. Polar bears spend as much time on the ice as they do on land. Polar bears are champion swimmers. They have been known to swim more than 60 miles without a rest. The polar bear's swimming limit is not known. Polar bears have been clocked swimming as fast as six miles per hour. A polar bear's forepaws are partially webbed to assist it in swimming. The massive size of the forepaws help as well. Each measures up to 12 inches in diameter. Polar bears are skilled divers. They easily swim from one ice floe to the next. When a polar bear emerges from the water, it shakes water from its fur like a dog. A polar bear also wrings water from its fur by dragging itself across the ice. Polar bears have excellent underwater vision. They can spot food up to 15 feet away. The polar bear's fat layer, which is three to four inches thick, not only protects it from the cold, but adds to its bouyancy in the water. Sources: San Diego Zoo/Wild Animal Park ZooNooz, February 1996; Polar Bears by Nikita Ovsyanikov (Voyageur Press, Stillwater, Minnesota, 1996). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kilo7- from animaldiversity.com Despite the world-wide attention given to the white shark through documentaries and articles, it remains one of the most poorly understood of the world's sharks. Unfortunately, the general population believes the white shark to be a mindless, random killers - man-eaters - largely because of movies like "Jaws" and other horror stories, and would feel safer if the species were eradicated. Exactly why sharks attack humans is unknown - possibly raw aggression, territoriality, or misidentification (i.e. the sillhoette of a person lying on a surfboard strongly resembles that of a seal or sea lion from below). What is known is that white sharks do not attack humans out of hunger; in other words, they do not attack people to eat them. Most attacks, even those that prove fatal, do not result in any consumption of the victim - whole or in part. If death occurs, it is likely to be the result of loss of blood, loss of tissue, or shock. where as polar bears attack just to eat things. The polar bear is a much more firece predator. You canSwim with Sharks , but it's crazy to be within 100 feet of a polar bear in the wild. That article contradicts your point... it shows sharks attack for reasons OTHER than eating. A polar bear will attack you as defense/food, a shark would eat your face just to find out what it is. That's fucking thug. Even if the shark wanted to say "Hi" to the bear, he would chomp on his ass, cause that's the only thing it knows how to do. And to grant you a point, I'll switch the tank metaphor... how about a huge battle axe (with a giant swinging war hammer behind it) vs. five broadswords? Broadswords get crushed. As for the reach thing, anything that a bear puts close to the sharks face will get ate up, period. Even if the bear slices the shark's eyes, the shark will switch to Ampullae of Lorenzini mode and get all Daredevil on his ass. It is much MUCH easier for the shark to fatally injure a bear than the other way around. All you need is to rip off 1 appendage and the blood loss would be too massive. To get to a shark's vitals takes some serious digging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 I still say shark will kill cos water is their territory, even though polar bears are good swimmers, sharks live in water and can move much faster around the bear, baffling it, and thereby removing large chunks of the bear with those razor sharp teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kilo7- http://www.bearshark.com/html/images/html_05.jpg'> Now this would rule so hard it would end life on Earth. It'd probably have to battle KAWS Chomper, since that's another possible result of a shark/bear combo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 ok mams... how about this comparison http://www.bimmini.com/studios/mace.jpg'> -VS- http://www.davidmorgan.com/images/product/451_detail.jpg'> that's how I see shark vs. bear (unless there's suprise involved) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepAnDream Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 this threads doing much better than my 7 ft inflatable penis vs jolly green giant thread.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 i think its funny how much people are getting into this, which is the point of the book that the band name is based on, both of which i thought would have been commented on more than the actual fight. heres a synopsis..... In this brilliant satire of our media-saturated culture, the sovereign nation of Las Vegas -- the entertainment capital of the world -- is host to Bear v. Shark II. After a disappointing loss in the first matchup between the land and the sea, the bear is back with a vengeance and out for blood. All of America is obsessed with the upcoming spectacle, so tickets are hard to come by. With an essay entitled "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live," young Curtis Norman wins a national writing contest and four tickets to the event. The Normans load up their SUV and embark on a road trip to Vegas. As they head cross-country, the family is besieged by a dizzying barrage of voices: television and radio personalities, public service announcements, bear and shark pundits, Freudians, theologians, and self-published authors, in addition to the Bear v. Shark fanatics, cultists, and resisters they meet at roadside gas stations and restaurants. Overwhelmed by factoids, statistics, and ten-second debates, the Normans -- along with the rest of country -- can't seem to get their facts straight, much less figure out a way to actually communicate with one another. Sound bites and verbal tics predominate; misheard, misunderstood, and just plain mistaken information is absorbed, mangled, and regurgitated to hilarious effect; and the most inane subjects -- from the disappearance of Dutch culture to the Shakespearean bias toward the bear -- are vigorously and obsessively debated. These meaningless exchanges of misinformation leave Mr. Norman disenchanted, world-weary, and ambivalent about the impending show, but the family eventually makes it to Vegas for an apocalyptic and surprisingly emotional ending. Written in quick, commercial-like segments that mirror the media it satirizes, Chris Bachelder's debut is a fiercely funny, razor-sharp novel about the odd intersection of zealotry and trivia, about the barriers to human connection in a society that values entertainment above all else. Through a clever act of novelistic subterfuge, Bachelder makes us laugh at our penchant for absurd and useless information while drawing us into a dazzling spectacle of his own imagination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 That's better, but make the chain on the morning star longer. Remember, reach isn't an issue, because if the bear's paw is close enough to attack the shark, the shark's mouth is close enough to rip the paw off. Paw off = potentially fatal injury. And even if you left the reach as is, the whip would lacerate and sting the morning star a few times before the morning star reaches the whip and bashes its skull in. *Edit: Dude, I am SO buying that book... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by El Mamerro That's better, but make the chain on the morning star longer. Remember, reach isn't an issue, because if the bear's paw is close enough to attack the shark, the shark's mouth is close enough to rip the paw off. Paw off = potentially fatal injury. And even if you left the reach as is, the whip would lacerate and sting the morning star a few times before the morning star reaches the whip and bashes its skull in. *Edit: Dude, I am SO buying that book... the average polar bears paw measures 12 inches in diameter, do you reckon the shark could just bite it right off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by BASF the average polar bears paw measures 12 inches in diameter, do you reckon the shark could just bite it right off? Easily. EASILY. http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/programmes/tv/woo/picpops/images/prog1_2.jpg'> You can probably stuff 2 or 3 at a time even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Imagine a polar bear with half its paw bitten off, in the water, blood everywhere, while the shark quickly swims round it biting out more of it. shark wins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 It would all depend on who struck first, like a dual at ten paces. They are both capable of killing each other to shit, but it would be who got the luck of the draw. If the bear got the first swipe in, the shark would be all dazed, and then the bear could hump that bitch to death. But if the bear missed, or the shark got his Haduken tail swipe in, that bear would be polar ice cap fishy chow..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 the thing is the shark will be moving so fast, coming from beneath the polar bear which won't be able to see or move very well in the water, and it can try and block the sharks bites, but hahah, this will only result in decapitation or a large hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 "It'd probably have to battle KAWS Chomper, since that's another possible result of a shark/bear combo" HAHA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 it would all come down to the first attack. A shark could probably bite the bears head right off. The bear could slash the sharks eyes face and bains into mush. here's something to ponder..... Bears can hunt seals and fish (water based creatures) but sharks dont hunt things out of the water. If the bear got a claw in him and haled him on to the shore it would be game over for the shark. I say 'bear to win' just because it can kill in water or on land but a shark will die out of water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomfarmer Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 i picked the cd up in a used bin. im glad that i did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Screw Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kilo7- I say 'bear to win' just because it can kill in water or on land but a shark will die out of water. i think the best place for them to fight is space/weightlessness, as previously mentioned by heavylox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 space is not fair to the bear. It's way more like being in water than on land. simply... a bear sould put up a good fight in shark territory but a shark is fucked on dry land. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Æ° Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 You guys have to keep in mind that bears can ride unicycles too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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