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help mapo get a date


mapo returns

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originally posted by Rubber Band

super shithead status

 

 

oh man, Mapo Returns alright, here's what happens, getting in her pissed off pussy will be easy, but dating...forget about it. Yo man, drop the pretensions about being her boyf if she wants to fuck you she'll let you sleep over. Oh man, I'm so glad this thread is back, Mapo Returns baby baby.:eek:

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seriously mapo, just try yahoo personals, fuck the dumb shit(cliche and punnish as that does sound) i know at least two couples that are happily married that met on the internet....we are all talking about your dating life on the internet, i recomend you stop thinking about whats her name and go email 10 girls...you can see pictures and everything.

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Mapo versus the Volcano

 

Mapo...are you a goddamn glutton for punishment or something? Have you just been ignoring the overwhelming consensus of everyone here that this cunt is no good. She's running you in circles and that this latest flim flam of hers is just going to result in "The night at the corn maze where Mapo was put through the wringer once again?"

 

Do you really wanna be with a girl who has put you through all this shit and bear in mind YOU ARE NOT EVEN DATING HER YET?!?!? Imagine the can of worms you're looking to inherit once you're intimate with her and then you'll REALLY begin to see what lurks beneath the surface.

 

You know how volcanos emit little bits of toxic smoke to let you know there's actually a whole lot more lurking under the surface coupled with molten fucking magma, earthquakes and ash? Gina is that volcano. You are the native village living at the bottom of the mountain

 

I give up.....you make your own choices dude...you're on your own.

 

hate the game, not the player (lens)

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Haha, native villagers. That’s funny.

 

Anyway, I guess it’s true that you can learn from only from your own mistakes. But mapo, you ask for advice, you get it (quality, too), and you don’t even come close to following it. Is she a playboy model, or the average girl from apt.# 304? How the fuck are you gonna get depressed over a girl you’re not even dealing with? Even then, one shouldn’t get depressed. I guess you gotta get fucked over to the point where you get jaded or something. Don’t take her to this cornfield maze thing. Ask her if she wants to come to your house instead. Once there, wait…wait…pour liquor…wait – then make the move. If she says “no”, say “hey, that’s cool” and done. Never call her again. Bitches hate that shit.

 

Girls prey on guys like you. They just love telling you that they’ve met someone. Like a whiteboy “emcee” who wears a bandana and talks likes a nignog. I don’t know what it is…I guess they get off on it.

 

Come on, man. As long as I’m living vicariously through you, you should man up a tad!

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Yeah Mapo, man the fuck up!

 

If you're gonna get this bent out of shape over a girl you're not even formally seeing, how the hell are you gonna manage all the issues, drama and general b.s. that comes with a full fledged relationship?

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mapo...its time to hit the eject button...for real

 

block the messenger and don't answer or return any calls. that girl is only playing you. the only way you can come out of this upright is to ignore her forever. as soon as you talk to her again...she'll go right back to square 1 again.

 

seriously man...run while you still have some dignity.

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I wouldn't say I'm "gifted" but if you want to that is fine. The girls and IMing thing is so true. But now for the fun part:

 

Pimpology Lesson 1: How to break and turn out a difficult Ho.

 

This shit takes time and effort, but it is worth it if you are tough/heartless enough to follow through with it and not get your feelings hurt. There is no half way with this, if you go at it only partially you will get fucked over beyond belief. If you do not execute properly she will see what you are trying to do and break you down first.

 

Step 1: If it is not too late, DO NOT GO TO THE MAIZE MAZE, do not call her, do not IM her, do not acknowledge her existence whatsoever for the next week.

 

Step 2: When you see her again, and you will, do not apologize for missing your date, do not mention it, do not bring it up. Act as if you have no recallection of said date whatsoever. If she asks about it say "were we really? I must have forgotten, I've been so busy. Let me make it up to you, when is good for you to kick it?" She will answer and say "Okay, for sure this time, we're going to go to (Insert random place)"

 

Step 3: Ignore her again, miss the date, etc.

 

Step 4: Figure out where she will be or her sister will be and arrive there with another woman. (Attractive and flirtatious if possible) Try to be "hugged up" with her as much as you can, if you have a female friend, explain to her whats going on and ask if she would be willing to help you out, chances are she will.

 

Step 5: Call her a few days after step 4 "just to see how she is." If she asks about the girl from above say oh thats my friend. She will tease you about it or use something to the effect of "I heard you two were good friends" If this happens you are in, if it does not ask leading questions to get her on the topic. "I ran into your sister" "I'm sorry I couldn't talk the other day" etc. Then say "We should hang out some time" don't mention the 2 count them 2 times you've blown her off before.

 

Step 6: Make plans to see her, and actually do, show up LATE, no flowers, no apologies. Play it cool, show her no affection, attention etc. Obviously look at and talk to other women, hit on them etc. Make her as uncomfortable as possible on the "date." At the end of the date kiss her on the cheek, if she wants more give it to her, but tell her "I'd really like to see you again sometime." And grab her ass or something like sleazy or disrepectful.

 

Step 7: Repeat process of disengagment, do not contact her, she will call you/ IM you. Miss a date or too, ask her if she wants to come along with the guys to the strip club, things like this.

 

Theory: At this point she is rapidly losing interest in you becasue you are too available and interested. The fix to this is simple, be unavailable and uninterested. Make her wonder if you actually want to see her or if you are even single. Remember, love is war, there is no excuse for allowing the enemy/girl to see your intentions up front, instead you have to conceal your mission. In the art of war, sun tzu says "when you are weak, seem strong, when you are strong, seem weak. After those 7 steps she should, by all rational calculations, hate you and think that you are a complete asshole, but she wont. She will be attracted to the fact that you don't need her, that you can do better/other women. If she sees that you're having fun wihtout her she will want to be part of that. But you have to ask yourself if its worth it to be in the kind of "relationship" where you have to completely manipulate the situation, especially when you're trying to lose your virignity. Something to think about...

 

Sources Consulted:

Slim, Iceburg. PIMP

Sun Tzu: Art of War

Green, Robert: 48 Laws of Power.

Bishop Don Magic Juan...

 

Milton (I keep 'em lookin good right but no dough!)

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oh btw mapo.. all my suggestions have been half in jest.. i dont think you're actually out just to bone the chick ( i never was.. im a fellow fat man), but i feel as though i'm older than you, so i can give you my (very similar) experiences, but i can't give any real advice as far as "pimpin" goes, or as far as getting the girl becuase i'm torn between the fact that the one is out there, or not (this side is winning). if you want my serious opinion... walk away now... like homeboys said ignore ignore ignore... maybe holler in a year minimum, you bith need time to mature... the sister sounds like she could be fun, but i don't think it'd be worht association either (though you may want to vaguely let her no that it's nothing personal)... but yeah, the hopeful side of me supports ya.. the realistic side of me wants you to run before you start masturbating to girls in pain :o

:krunk:

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I agree with what milton just posted

 

I read the first couple of pages and then skipped ahead to the last page because I already know why you fucked up with this girl. You were acting WAY to interested in her. I think it was on the second page you said you two were joking around and she said if you were dating you could spend the night, and you replied with" well then lets start dating". That was a bad move.

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I agree with what milton just posted

 

I read the first couple of pages and then skipped ahead to the last page because I already know why you fucked up with this girl. You were acting WAY to interested in her. I think it was on the second page you said you two were joking around and she said if you were dating you could spend the night, and you replied with" well then lets start dating". That was a bad move.

You should have made a joke about her wanting to date you but your too much of a player for her. And you emailed her and imed her too much. You shouldnt be acting so interested in her unless she is actually your girl. Otherwise she is going to know she has the upperhand and shell wrap you around her finger, which it looks like she has.

So my advice is what Milton said and also...

stop trying to analyze a girls every move, let them analyze yours.

keep being funny and making girls laugh

dont get all serious and mushy unless your her boyfriend

find other girls, make them laugh, and be more hard to get.

Your Welcome

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mapo wassup with your other hoes??? any other speical girlies you holler at lately??

 

i seriously think this one fine hoe likes me...but i heard she has herpes cus she fucked alot of guys....what should i do??? is there a way to fuck a chick with herpes and not get it???

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Originally posted by mapo returns

we didnt go to the maze, she was sick (legit).

 

are you sure she was... cause if that's what she told you on the internet or something, that's surely enough. i think you should just drop her until she calls you. and if she doesn't, go to other book stores.

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I remember being a virgin, and how desperate I was to get laid. But if I were you, I wouldn't call this girl again, just a waste of a man's time, I mean it's obvious she's fucking with you, in the bad sense of the word. You need to give yourself some days to do some things you like, with your friends and stuff, know this sounds corny but watch some nice movies and shit. And then you can go at it again, just meet other girls. This one's digging a grave for your confidence, seems she's just stepping on you to feel better about herself. Biootchhh.

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Yo, Mapo, here's what ya do, put on some real short shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, or something to that effect, it's Florida, so you can wear basically nothing, doll yourself up and go for a bike ride (motorcycle) get into a horrible accident in front of her house, well not that bad, in face maybe you should just set a car on fire and squeeze ketchup all over you. ya know? then when she comes out, be like owww, owww, i really fucked up this time. Now here's the catch, when she takes you inside to dress your wounds...say, "Naw bitch, I was just playin' alls I really want to do is fuck up inside a ya," just like that.

 

yo, what I'm saying is you've gotta do some real fake ass shit that'll look like you're fucking crazy, then she'll be like, hmmm, I wonder how he works as a butt plug, remember, when you think you're about to come, say something really stupid so she'll remember you.

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What you need to do is stop being a pussy. Stop trying to make plans with her because she will keep blowing you off and you will sit there and be sad and eat ice cream and watch Oprah reruns all day. Fuck that. Ignore her except for when you're calling her names and telling her you're having drunken sex with her sister. DO NOT buy her anything, unless its AIDS infected cupcakes. You're not even dating or close to it so buying her something is just ridiculous. She's not going to get you shit, and if she does it will be something really gay like a source magazine or shoe cleaner. You seriously just need to stop talking to both of those queers, what good has come from you talking to them? Nothing. Just stop all communications and give me five dollars. You will then be victorious is the game that is life.

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Mapo...I thought you were just being clueless but you are a douschebag to me at this point.

 

Where is your dignity?

 

You're like a public statue of some second-rate historical figure and this chick Gina is the flock of pigeons that shit all over it everyday.

 

She was sick....legit.........sure Mapo, sure, just keep telling yourself that and the bad man will go away.

 

I operated under the misconception you would be sensible enough to listen to some good advice...evidently not.

 

To Milton and anyone else who continues to post advice.....stop wasting your time. Mapo gives us the middle finger everytime he calls this chick to do something.

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Originally posted by LENS

Mapo...I thought you were just being clueless but you are a douschebag to me at this point.

 

 

 

To Milton and anyone else who continues to post advice.....stop wasting your time. Mapo gives us the middle finger everytime he calls this chick to do something.

 

 

 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwhhhhhh

 

there's some truth to that.

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