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"Dating for Dummies" By Milton

 

Dinner and A Movie = Cliche for a reason. Ya it's played out, but at least the woman will know that you're on a date (as if your akward behavoir when asking her to "hang out" wasn't enough) and she will know what to expect. It's the bread and butter of the dating world, long enough to engage in good conversation, short enough that if you hate it you're not stuck hating it for the whole night. A nice spin is the late movie and coffee/dessert after. I find the later you keep a woman out the closer the distance from her panties to the floor.

 

The dinner: Make it middle of the road, not something you can't afford, not something you can afford to do every night. The restaurant sets the mood for the rest of the date. A quiet, romantic restaurant increases the chances that you'll get laid if she's into you but decreases the possibility of keeping it casual, or cheap. Another good spot is somewhere fun, or somewhere with a nice atmosphere, these places are generally cheaper. It's good to have handful of places, as a big guy myself, I like to eat, so I always try to find a new spot, especially something that stays open late. (See above) In fact, knowing good restaurants is a trait women love, it shows that you have class and good taste.

 

The movie: Doesn't really have to be a movie, it could be any activity that you are sure both people are going to enjoy. A movie is just something neutral, so if you don't know her well you might want to go for this option. I'm not going to go into what to pick, but if you go to anything with a flower in the title kiss your manhood goodbye.

 

A different spin: Instead of the normal, consume and be entertained theme, a few ideas for something different.

Fun:

A concert. I have two tickets to the (insert popular/cool indie band name here) wanna go with me.

An Art Gallery: Yes women really do love this, well women with class love this.

A sporting event: Sort of like a concert.

To play sports: Maybe roller skating bowling etc. should be more of a second or third date, but who knows.

A hookah spot: One of my personal favorites, if you've never been check it out. It's got a real "international" flavor that women dig.

The Zoo: Yup, get some ice-cream, show her you have an spontaneous side.

Romantic:

Walking through parks, cities etc: This is good, but if she's in heels, and most of the time I try to get them to wear heels, the reason is my secret recipe that you are not ready for yet, this might not be the best, go for option 2.

Going to a park: If you can sit at a park and chill/hang out, this is better for women who don't want to walk. Especially at sunset, or when the city lights are just coming on. (Belie Dat)

A drive: I assume you're rolling, take her on a drive, find a scenic drive near you, most cities have them.

A garden: If you have those big gardens in your area, its like giving her a thousand flowers, she'll love it. Take a picnic.

 

A few side notes: Don't think of it as a test, think of it like your chance to show her why she should give up her time/panties to be with you. Show up with flowers/ a gift. Mostly flowers, even if you think it's stupid, women love chivalry. Don't try to hard, you'll seem like you don't know what you're doing. If you want to spend more time with her suggest something else, coffee is always a good option. Don't over analyse things, and always be ready to change the plan. You are in your first step of a beautiful process, and just like a flower that blooms in spring, you take much time and good treatment, your scent will be sweet and your colour divine. HIYA!

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Okay i know i said i was gonna go earlier but i also said that i woould help out mapo. So being the team player that i am, le it slide. So I talked with the tenderloin squad tonight and got the truth after many drinks. The general concensous was that you are spending way too much time tryna get the one girl. They say its understandable and very cute then moments later they were talking about how guys never call and they are all assholes. So if that is any help to you at all it should tell you that girls are fuckin crazy. For the most part that is. It ended up turning into a 'yeah girl friend' tournament. I know i said that shit wouldnt happen but i have never seen it before. This is all new to me coming from these girls.

 

So yuck learns yet something new from the girls while hanging out on ladies night again. Will he stop? There is no telling. Tune in 2 months from now to get the answer.

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I like the "tenderloin squad" I might use that. My team is a skeleton crew now, I'm down to about 3 broads from 6, the other half went to college. The ones that are left are the slutty one the deperate one and the stripper. Leaves the debate sort of one sided.

 

Damn college!

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Originally posted by Milton

"Dating for Dummies" By Milton

 

 

A sporting event: Sort of like a concert.

 

A garden: If you have those big gardens in your area, its like giving her a thousand flowers, she'll love it. Take a picnic.

 

 

picnic= fruit & sex.

 

picnic is good 'n' cheap. pack bug spray.

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i really appreciate all the help.

 

i talked to her online last night, and we made plans for tonight.

 

i asked her if there was anything in mind she wanted to do and she just keeps saying we'll figure it out tomorrow. i get the feeling we'll just chill at the house where she dog sits. but then she was like 'i feel like its disrespectful to their house to invite people over, but we'll see tomorrow'. so i really dont have any idea how it will go.

 

if we do leave and go somewhere i guess ill take her to a restaurant or something like suggested. i was actually thinking of taking her to a comedy club.

 

i guess it really will just be a spur of the moment thing.

 

if i dont post back here tonight, y'all know the deal.

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If you do not make plans this is how your date will go:

 

Her: Hey Mappy, do you wanna go do something?

You: Sure

Her: What should we do?

You: I don't know, what do you want to do?

Her: I don't know what do you want to do?

You: I don't know, I really don't care

Her: I don't care either...

 

Do not put yourself in that sitchiation...

I forgot rule number 1: Do NOT take girls that you are dating to nightclubs. And especially don't take them to nightclubs and then try to take a swing at a guy that asks her to dance. And really really don't take her to a nightclub take a swing at the guy that asks her to dance and then cry to the police after getting jumped in the parking lot....

 

Good day...

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^^^

Listen to milton....he knows what he's talking about. make sure you have a plan in mind as to what the two of you are going to do.

 

by having a plan, you'll look like one helluva shit-together individual and the date will be more stimulating than a fucking evening at some house with dogs.

 

Like Milton said....no nightclubs comedy or otherwise. Chill restaurant, a little walk together afterwards, do not push the sex thing. If you go on this date expecting a kiss or sex, it will not happen. Expectancy radiates from a guy like the stank off chronic buds and it turns chicks off big time.

Allow these weak creatures the indulgent fantasy that they are the ones in control and everything will fall into place my son.

 

hate the game, not the player (lens)

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oh fuck.

 

so last night she told me shed be online from the dogsitting house..and she'd give me directions and shit. well i get online, ask her how shes doing, she says 'good, a little tired...about to go home'. i know this is bad. so i ask 'too tired to go out?' to which she says 'honestly, im gonna go home and sleep, can we meet at 8:30?' so i said ok. then she says 'but i cant be out late because i have to go back to the dogistting house tonight'. this shit aint looking good. if she cancels on me tonight again, fuck it, im through. i have a feeling shes not gonna contact me then tell me she was too tired to wake back up.

 

fuck it.

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Originally posted by mapo returns

im kinda scared because if she says no, it will be awkward for me to

talk to her anytime after that, and i like talking to her.

 

now I know I'm late in this thread but I have to comment on that line.

You can never be afraid of that. When you ask a girl to do something

it's gotta be just like asking one of your friend to go for a beer. Casual!

If she says no... roll it off like it's no big thing and then keep at it.

Chances are if you keep that conversation going, she'll rethink he 'no'

and it can become a 'yes' in no time. Just dont sweat it. If she says 'no'

and you say 'ok...bye' then it's game over for you.

 

 

 

how about this for a thread....

 

Help Kilo decide wich girl to date - seriously.. I've been on fire lately.

I got asked out twice yesterday, flirted with a fine girl today, and have a booty call tomorrow.

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man....stop stressin so much about this shit...just spit a little game, then forget about it untill the next time you see her....dont expect sex cus when you expect shit it aint gonna happen....act casual..dont act like a desperate little twat

 

im not garunteeing this shit tho ahha...i just kno that from experiance...actin desperate and dwellin on that shit doesnt do any good...ive never gotten with any chick ive done this too...im tryin the casual shit out and i think its working....ask me again in a few weeks

 

dont stress about it..if naything..your learning from this experiance....just talk to hella chicks even if you dont wanna hit it...it gives you a better idea at how they work

 

-moe lestin teases grandma-

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yo help moe lesta out with some chciks

 

 

1. hot ass girl, shes a slut tho and might have herpes...but i think shes sweatin me...but shes straight up fucked hella guys and i dont kno!

2. one chick...good lookin but kinda shy....im not that into her...maybe a backup

3.another chick...this one im trying to work on harder cus im on her jock....shes hard to talk to tho...i think shes scared to conversate cus she likes me? i dont kno im confused about this shit but im not trying to think about it that much

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<span style='color:black'>Im feelin that comment on talkin to as many girls as possible even if you dont think you want to get with them. I would say that I have probably been rejected by more girls than all the girls you guys on this board have slept with. It is a learning experience and to a certain extent, it's a numbers game. I pretty much have my game plan down to a science that works for me. That last girl that i got up with told me once that she hasnt dated anyone in around 2 years. I waited a few days and then when a similar conversation came up I told her that i had never been on a date before and we should go out some time. We went to a thai restaurant cuz i remember her saying she loves thai food. So yuck went on his first date and kept the conversation rolling along smoothly. She was lovin it and personally, I liked her a lot. She was possibly one of the coolest smartest and sexiest girls i have met in my life. Well it wasnt long before the relationship fell appart. I dont exactly know why. She had some issues that i was cool with but from there, it just didnt work out. I met her over the summer and she had to go back to school. Broke my heart. We are still cool now though. It took me several months to get over her. She is the new model that I base all other women by. Its crazy. Maybe some day i can win her back. It's my mission:lol:

 

but in the mean time I go out and talk to as many girls as possible in the search of the next best thing. Lately I've just been dissapointed. Blah.

 

Oh here is something. I have found that the absolute worst place to meet girls is at a bar or a club. They have guys sweating them all damn night trying to buy them home and dont want to hear it unless you get at her early and grab her interest.

 

The best place i have found is out in public like at the grocery store (Thurday is hot mamas night at the grocery store. Hot mamas need groceries too.) or just walking down the street. They arent in an environment where they are expecting to be harrassed. I have done some crazy shit talking to girls. I walk dogs for people everyday during my lunch break and if i see a good looking girl walking down the side walk I'll let the dog loose to go jump up on them. I'll strike up a conversation by saying something like "Man, my dog has better taste in women than i thought." hahaha im so cute.

 

Hopefully my stories have helped you out a little more in coming to an understanding of some sort.</span>

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ok, i just talked to her online. she canceled again.

this time i let her know my patience was wearing thin with her bullshit and asked her to be honest, i asked her if im wasting my time by asking her out. she insisted that wasnt the case. she said she really felt bad but the dog sitting lady was gonna call and she had to answer because otherwise it would look like she wasnt there. then she said it would be disrespectful to invite me to the house.

 

she then promised me we would go out friday night, suggested dinner and a movie, or dinner and some other activity. i said that would be great.

 

i know it was probably a bitch-move to reschedule again, but i think she was for real. she seemed legitimately sorry to cancel, and I think shes being real about friday night. im willing to give her another shot.

 

ill keep ya posted.

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Where was my sidekicks when I was a virgin? Who was there to tell me about girls? SURE AS DAMN HELL NOT 12OZPROPHET!! Go kick it with the homies, if you have any..

 

Best advice ever: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE AND HANG OUT..Women love a guy that can have FUN. I don;t if anyone else has said the same exact shit, but listen to them too...Go somewhere, do something, and get yourself some ass....It's so choice, I highly recommend it...

 

http://cartoonsforkids.com/Alphabet/L-Puz.gif'>

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Originally posted by mapo returns

ok, i just talked to her online. she canceled again.

this time i let her know my patience was wearing thin with her bullshit and asked her to be honest, i asked her if im wasting my time by asking her out. she insisted that wasnt the case. she said she really felt bad but the dog sitting lady was gonna call and she had to answer because otherwise it would look like she wasnt there. then she said it would be disrespectful to invite me to the house.

 

she then promised me we would go out friday night, suggested dinner and a movie, or dinner and some other activity. i said that would be great.

 

i know it was probably a bitch-move to reschedule again, but i think she was for real. she seemed legitimately sorry to cancel, and I think shes being real about friday night. im willing to give her another shot.

 

ill keep ya posted.

damn that shits fucked up...i dont see this going anywhere.....keep at it maybe you will get some...but start hollering at some other chicks

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Time to move on Homie

 

Yeah Mapo, sounds like you're putting out a good amount of effort but man, these chicks sound lie they're giving you the run around at this point.

 

COntinue the pursuit if you want but take the advice of so many other and start pursuing other girls. When i was sinlge, I would allow girls to cancel plans like, twice. ANything beyond that, it was like, "Hey, sounds like your life is too busy for me."

 

Seriously, you always keep a pot of macaroni on the backburner of the stove for yourself. If you end up burning the shit outta the chicken and potatoes roasting in the oven, you still have the dependable, tasty and filling mac n cheese so you won't go to bed hungry.

 

Time to move on Mapo. Don't consider it a failure on your part. You obviously made a real effort and often the girls are just too dumb or indecisive to make up their goddamn minds.

 

Fuck'em, their loss. If you get depressed, keep this in mind......

 

WHen they're 45+, tits hanging down to their knees like mailbags, wrinkles, overwieght, they'll think of you and go "Damn, wish i had flaked on the dog lady for Mapo."

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<span style='color:black'>Yeah this doesnt sound to good. So here is one last thing I can think of. Call her up one more time. Have her pick a day to do something. It doesn't matter what day it is. If she says lets do something tuesday, say "Okay. No wait. Im going out with this girl I met (last day she bullshitted on you here)." Just to give her something to think about. You dont have to say anything else about the matter. Just plant thoughts in her mind.

 

In conclussion, fuck that girl. Try to go back to the original girl for shits and giggles. Don't let it stress you out. Have fun just fuckin around with them.</span>

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I know you probably don't want any advice from good old uncle milton, but you're getting it any way, shut up and listen.

 

You don't know her well enough to pull the "just be honest with me," card yet. Many a man, including myself has done this way too early in a relationship and ruined it. It makes the woman feel like you are going to be possessive and dominating in the realtionship, and they may very well be right, but that don't have to know yet.

 

Like everyone else said, find a bird or too to keep around in the background. If a girl knows you're A) Wanted by other women and B) Might not be available when she wants to hang out she'll take you more seriously. But now is the time to be foul to her, when she calls you about the "date" ask her "is it okay if I bring my friend (Female name here), I promised her we could hang out." She will either say no which means she is into/protective of you or say sure, which means you can still play the we're just friends card.

 

Quick playboy tip of the day: If an actual woman is too hard or inconvienient to come by, just pose as one online. Change your use of capitals, type slower/faster than normal. Use punctuation and slang that you don't normally. When she comes on say oh hi, mapo is in the other room, who's this. Talk for a while, but don't insinuate that the two of you are dating, just push your good qualities, and then leave with, "oh gosh he just finished dinner, got to go"

 

Keep a couple birds around in case...

 

Milton (First time they fuss I'm breezin...)

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

now I know I'm late in this thread but I have to comment on that line.

You can never be afraid of that. When you ask a girl to do something

it's gotta be just like asking one of your friend to go for a beer. Casual!

If she says no... roll it off like it's no big thing and then keep at it.

Chances are if you keep that conversation going, she'll rethink he 'no'

and it can become a 'yes' in no time. Just dont sweat it. If she says 'no'

and you say 'ok...bye' then it's game over for you.

 

i always get this aswell. if some girls says no, then i find it extremely hard for me to carry on chatting to them after. it feels like somethings changed etc..

 

 

Originally posted by Kilo7-

how about this for a thread....

 

Help Kilo decide wich girl to date - seriously.. I've been on fire lately.

I got asked out twice yesterday, flirted with a fine girl today, and have a booty call tomorrow.

 

way to rub salt into the wound...

:mad:

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