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Gunm

Things you Wish Girls would say right off the bat

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Don't we all love it when we meet some cute chick and you start hitting it off really well with good conversation, a relaxed vibe and you're thinking "goddamn she has really pretty eyes". Suddenly, she drops some bit of info on you that just kills the deal. Something that makes you think, "Fuck....if i had known that, i would just smiled and kept walking."

 

For example, I met this really cute girl once and after an hour she starts telling me about how devoted to god she is and how Jesus knows what is best in life. Fuck Fuck Fuck

 

Don't you just love that? At least it wasn't "Yeah, I have herpes" although I'm sure people have heard that before...after the fact they just got done kissing said chick (which is some real ILoveUnicorns type stuff)

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or tell y ou that they are seeing another person..or that they were the neigborhood pincusion...one thing that fucking pisses me off is you meet a new girl, then you get told she had sex with 22939280175 guys, and your the fool for wining and dining a whore.

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Originally posted by oneeightyone

then you get told she had sex with 22939280175 guys, and your the fool for wining and dining a whore.

:o

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Things you Wish Girls would say right off the bat: Hi, I have a no gag reflex...:eek:

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Don't you hate it when they're bipolarness only comes out after a couple months, or when you find out that they're shady/flakey and tell lies. Or, when they don't tell you that they're gonna try to make you jealous. Somehow I just use my selective hearing and it works out.

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things i wish a girl would say off the bat " i want to suck your cock, while i eat the shit out of another girls asshole while her father jerks off on to my forhead, and then i want you to slit my wrist and force me to fist the other girls fathers asshole"

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i think most people missed the point of the thread, another thing i wish was said "i cheated on every guy i have been with before you"

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I think it's funny that you quote yourself as your signature. But you know what would be really cool, seriously is if you added a date, like "blah blah god blah blah people god - onsexualpile circa 1972" yeah?

 

When can we have sex?

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Originally posted by onesecondple

"i cheated on every guy i have been with before you"

 

heard that one:o

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Originally posted by onesecondple

and have genital warts

Originally posted by oneeightyone

then she had sex with 22939280175 guys

Originally posted by Dirty_habiT

after a couple months you find out that they're shady/flakey and tell lies.

Then she says

Originally posted by EarMuffs

mind if my best friend joins us tonight

And it turns out the best friend...

Originally posted by LENS

"Yeah, I have herpes"

 

Mr.yucks penis shrivels up so small that it completely disapears as he backs away from the whole nasty situation.

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Originally posted by bute

Things you Wish Girls would say right off the bat: "i plan on torturing you for the next two years and turning your life into a living hell"

 

would saved me a whole lotta trouble:spent:

 

Haha .. I second this.

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i want to hear an attractive curly hair brunette say...

"damn where you been all my life, you grimy paint covered dickies wearing bike riding mother fucker? you wanna come to my cush apartment while i crack you a beer, rub you down in the shower, rollyou a blunt, put on a movie and let you into my silk sheets? you mind if my girlfriend comes? oh, i just shaved why dont you peep.....you like that? yeah, i study transit systems. you write graffiti? that makes me wet."

 

thats what i wanna hear.

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Originally posted by old*824

i want to hear an attractive curly hair brunette say...

"damn where you been all my life, you grimy paint covered dickies wearing bike riding mother fucker? you wanna come to my cush apartment while i crack you a beer, rub you down in the shower, rollyou a blunt, put on a movie and let you into my silk sheets? you mind if my girlfriend comes? oh, i just shaved why dont you peep.....you like that? yeah, i study transit systems. you write graffiti? that makes me wet."

 

 

 

dang. no shit. that the beginning to the best life ever. I lived that for about 14 days once.

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i wanna hear a woman say....

 

"damn you grimey wearing dickie motherfucker, where you been all mylife? you wanna go shop lifting? only if we fuckin the dressing room? you want lobster for dinner? only if im buying. yeah motherfucker, ill have your babies, and yes i still study transit. you wanna fuck in the rail yard again? mother fucker, itold you i rented a room in the hilton. fuck me there you fucking vandal, me and LaTicia meet you in #594 after we get the ex and viagra and the weed and the crystal."

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i wanna hear her say....

"god damn you dickies wearing graffiti writing alchoholic, stop writing on shit and fuck me fulltime. ill shop lift for you for life JUSSSST FUCCCK MEEE NOWWW!!!!!!!"

 

 

yeah, that sounds good.

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