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Struggling for independence(?) part 2


Swiffer Jet

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Originally posted by fatbastard

whats the gas bill per month?

 

 

just the gas bill in the winter is about 190 bucks.. give or take a Twenty. i should go on the budget plan where you pay the same price all year ya know it all evens out cause you dont use gas in the summer but whatever.. i can pay it if i have to.. it sjust dips into my aerosol and alcohol dollars..:(

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Good Call on the Cultural Conflict angle^^^

 

My guess is that you're going to have to tolerate your dad's abusive attitude until such time as you can fly on your own. If you're in college, I STRONGLY SUGGEST you stay there. The difference between having a college education and not having a college education is a minimum $10,000 per year. That's a lot of pizza, Swif.

 

I've met many a kid that left his parent's house, and revelled in the freedom for a while, usually until the first month's rent comes due, or their girlfriend's ex-boyfriend shows up, or the car gets repossessed, etc. If you choose to leave and make your own way in the world, get ready for a very shocking reality check. Free time? What's that? It's work, work, work. School? You can't get student loans on your own until you turn 26, if memory serves. You are old enough now (19) to sign your own contracts, vote, join the military service, buy your own car, get your own insurance, etc. Got a bank account? Got a credit card? Got a job? If not, you are in no position to lead a normal, middle-class life outside of your parent's support.

The biggest problem is economic. If you had a job that would pay all your bills, AND you lived extremely frugally, you MIGHT be able to manage a bare minimum existance. But working full time and going to school gets really old really quick, and unless you are one highly motivated, hard-charging guy, school will be dropped first.

Now you've got mad free time, but no money. Answer: second job.

 

Bye-bye free time, hello dead-end jobs.

 

STAY IN COLLEGE. Your Dad is being a dick because he's scared you'll fuck up. Be more responsible, it will chill his need to make you do right.

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Re: Good Call on the Cultural Conflict angle^^^

 

Originally posted by KaBar2

Your Dad is being a dick because he's scared you'll fuck up.

 

yeah i know that. but he needs to ease off that shit because i'm fucking 19. this irritates me a lot.

 

i can't stay out late. my mom asks how come whenever i stay out late, i don't give them a call to let them know i'll come home late. i told her because they don't allow me to stay out late so if i was to call to let them know i'm coming home late, they'll just tell me to go home right away.

 

i also said to her the day that i call to let them know what time i will be home is the day they let me stay out late.

 

i'm not acting like a responsible or mature person from that^ but they have to learn that this is america and not vietnam.

 

my mom says it's not pure to stay out late.

 

very agitating.

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Re: Good Call on the Cultural Conflict angle^^^

 

Originally posted by KaBar2

My guess is that you're going to have to tolerate your dad's abusive attitude until such time as you can fly on your own. If you're in college, I STRONGLY SUGGEST you stay there. The difference between having a college education and not having a college education is a minimum $10,000 per year. That's a lot of pizza, Swif.

 

I've met many a kid that left his parent's house, and revelled in the freedom for a while, usually until the first month's rent comes due, or their girlfriend's ex-boyfriend shows up, or the car gets repossessed, etc. If you choose to leave and make your own way in the world, get ready for a very shocking reality check. Free time? What's that? It's work, work, work. School? You can't get student loans on your own until you turn 26, if memory serves. You are old enough now (19) to sign your own contracts, vote, join the military service, buy your own car, get your own insurance, etc. Got a bank account? Got a credit card? Got a job? If not, you are in no position to lead a normal, middle-class life outside of your parent's support.

The biggest problem is economic. If you had a job that would pay all your bills, AND you lived extremely frugally, you MIGHT be able to manage a bare minimum existance. But working full time and going to school gets really old really quick, and unless you are one highly motivated, hard-charging guy, school will be dropped first.

Now you've got mad free time, but no money. Answer: second job.

 

Bye-bye free time, hello dead-end jobs.

 

STAY IN COLLEGE. Your Dad is being a dick because he's scared you'll fuck up. Be more responsible, it will chill his need to make you do right.

I enjoy this persons perspective...very true....anyways i cant actually understand your situation since im not in it and i dont have to live it on a daily routine....i know that leaving home seems like a very enticing option( supposed unlimited freedom from everything) but like the man above said your freedom will turn out to be slavery just to maintain...I suggest you stay home and learn how to manage so you can stay in school because it will pay off in the long run...as for how to manage with your father i think you are going to have to figure that one out on your own. But the best bet to me is to stay at home and try to get along with your dad and if that means to be a little more responsible, spending more time with your family, or letting them know when and where you are going it seems like a small price to pay. Just get that fucking education.
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Man.... your dad is a hoe. He sounds a lot like my dad... whenever I expressed an opinion that differed with his in any way, I'd get smacked and told I was stupid. He also slowly changed from the father who always said he was proud, to the asshole who said I was slacking off and wasn't gonna get anywhere if I didn't get off my ass. He was often a reason I couldn't go out with my friends, and constantly nagged me about who I was hanging out with. Thanks Dad, I'm not a fucking idiot. So I know how you feel. Unfortunately I can only speculate on the rest of your situation and what you should do, because my dad is gone now... so that whole episode kinda ended in a hurry. For you, just appreciate that your dad is an asshole, but at least he's an asshole with a purpose. Good luck though.

 

 

 

And the next time your dad gestures with any kind of object as if he's going to hit you, tell him to. If he does, show no weakness. If he doesn't, well fuck, now you can call him weak.

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"swif" take smarts advice.

 

i'd say stay home..atleast until your semester is over and talk to them about moving out because if you just get up and go you really cant ask them for any help when your out on your own if you ever need it. if you talk to them about leaving and tell them how you feel it might help(but yes i know how asain parents are irrational). anyway this way they'll no your r4eason for leaving and atleast understand.

and you know how the food cost is =).. you already had to deal with that once.

 

anyway.. try and deal.. find some kinda level ground. and keep your head up..

 

you know "hold the cup" and miss delay will always be there for you and if you ever need someone to talk to i'll be there.

 

you could probably even try talking to lesley for advice.. she'll understand from a parents point of view.

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Originally posted by Swiffer Jet

i didn't talk to her personally and if i did, i wouldn;t tell you. at least for now. nothing personal. :)

 

you should talk to her personally.. and it's just advice not gossip..

 

but i respect your reasons whatever they are for not wanting o tell me.

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Originally posted by Swiffer Jet

so yeah, i'm sure you all have seen my old thread about how my dad was being very strict with me and such.

 

november is coming up and there are so many events that i want to attend.

 

lets see...

 

i currently attend college.

 

i live with my parents

 

my dad says i lost all tradition and such because i hang out with my friends too much.

 

starting last night, i'm not allowed out unless i'm going over to a relative's house and talk to them for fun.

 

what fueled the flame?

 

well, he told me to print out pictures of his niece for him and for me to get a satellite system from ebay a few weeks ago. i procrastinated.

 

i waited almost three weeks to do both of them (i just got them done with earlier this week).

 

within that time period, he asks me why i tell my mom about anything and not tell him. he tells me that she's not in charge of the house and that i have to ask him for permission to leave the house.

 

he also tells me that i'm the reason why this house isn't happy. house as in my parents, me, and my younger brother.

 

he wants me to be more family oriented, talk to the relatives, sit next to the men and listen to the conversations during family get-togethers.

 

last week, he goes and grabs a wooden stick from the garage and starts poking me in the head asking me if i'm scared of him hitting me.

 

he also yells at me asking me why i don't do what he asks ASAP. i mean shit...getting (illegal) free satellite is important huh.

 

one night after hanging out my my best girl-friend's house, i walk in the door. he asks where i went. i told him i went out. then he says, "the next time you do this, fuck school. you won't live here anymore. you'll be going to be living prison." i don't know why he said i'm going to prison but whatever.

 

this past tuesday, i went to watch a movie with my friends (that are still in high school) afterschool with them knowing that i have to be at my grandmother's to eat at 5pm. i admit, it was my fault for not leaving a note. so i get there at around 5.40-6.00 because of traffic. that's cool, he didn't utter a word to me about going out without asking for permission. i find it slightly ironic...while i was sitting down in the living room, my aunt and grandmother both asked why i look depressed for the past couple weeks. "i don't know"

 

yesterday comes by. my dad eats dinner. i'm already done with dinner. i tell him i'm going over to 16's house to help her with her homework. he tells me to sit down. "if she wants help with her homework, she can come here." i tell him i offered to help her. "don't give me an attitude. pick up the phone and call her and tell her you can't go." i told him i don't lie to people. "then tell her your parents didn't let you go."

 

then he goes about telling me that in this world, people have to lie in order to get the job that they want. that may be true but i'm not like that. i said to him, i just got hired at ---- ---- and i didn't lie to them. what wrong with me?

 

"shut the fuck up. whatever i can get my hands on, it'll be thrown into your face." (i spy a bowl of rice, chopsticks, fish, bowl is soup in the corner of my eye)

 

so i just went in my room and called 16 and told her the story. she was also having a bad day. i tried to cheer her up but it seemed as if i was failing. with me not being able to help her, i felt bad...on top of what was happening in my home-life.

 

last night, my dad tells me that he'll let me go out again once he sees me "improve being good."

 

i really want to go to these shows and events so i'm thinking about saying fuck home and bounce the fizzle out. what sucks even more is that i told 16 about some of those events too. today she asks, "since you're not able to go, who am i going to go with?" i told her she could go with "hold the cup" & "sean daley." "but i want to go with you," she says. aWw i felt special. (she's my ex). but yeah, i just don't want this oppurtunity to pass since she's never seen aesop in concert or go to a kewl hiphop jam.

 

the original intention was to not make it into a poll.

 

anyway, i talked to friend and they said it's cool. they just have to talk to the owner of the place. since i just got hired at the new job, i can help pay some of the bills and give them discounts on items. i also plan to finish the rest of this semester. once i'm done with school (early december) i want to drop my the house and drop off the car.

 

god, i wonder if i left anything out.

 

well, thanks for taking a very long time to read this post.

 

any input is welcome. bad or good.

 

now i leave with with this: enjoy

 

HAHAHAHAHA IS ALL I CAN SAY.. UR IN FUCKING COLLEGE AND U LET UR PARENTS TELL U WHAT TO DO? IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING AT U.. DONT BE SUCH A FUCKING PUSH OVER AND FUCKING STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.. HAHAHAH

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