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RumPuncher

Are you a grown up yet?

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source

 

<span style='color:gold'>25 signs you've "grown up"</span>

 

How many apply to you?

 

My comments in Italics

 

---------------------------------------Holler!

 

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

-Well this one I true for me... the plants are boderline alive

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

-no.. not having sex in any sized bed is absurd

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

-I leave space for more beer

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

-Only 6:00? Is the sun up yet? That's when I crash

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

-I like the oldies

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

-The umbrella is to hit people with

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup

and breakup.

-Only 1 or 2 of them

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

-Damnit! That one hurts

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

-I wish they did!

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids

next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

-Sorry... I refuse to call police unless my life is on the line

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

-Well in my family that was never taboo. I just didn't understand them

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

-I dont need to know. There's better places open later... that serve beer!

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments

go up.

-no car = no payment

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

-I dont feed myself right, let alone some butt-sniffing mutt!

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

-Not my couch. It's nicer than most beds.

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

-sure I do... at work no less

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the

beginning of one.

-Always a lame thing to do. Try to be inventive kids

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would

severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

-mmm.... suicide wings and a pitcher!

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,

not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

-I go for advil and condoms

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

-sorry... but it never was! same goes for 40's of O.E.

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

-Only as a hangover-helper

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never

going to drink that much again."

-It's like being an athlete, you have to practice to keep in winning form

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is

for real work.

-clearly you can all tell my feelings on this one

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going

to a bar.

-Come on now... why the hell not?

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't

apply to you!

-well I only found a handfull that did... so I'm okay with it.

 

 

------------ My positive additions -------------

 

-You dont have to save up for weeks to get a playstation

-You know more about wine then just 'red or white'

-You can talk to old people and make them laugh

-a 30 year old woman is closer to your age than your parents!

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Guest

and to paraphrase Chuck D...

because it seems relevant

 

If you are 25 and you dont have a lesson you

can teach an 18 year old then you really have nothing to offer society.

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Im on my way to my art history class ill do the test when i get back.

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i got seven of 'em... am i an old man yet?

 

living plants, queen size bed, more food than beer, up at 6am (school and work double duties), loss of vacation, fucking around online too much, and chicken makes me sick.

 

here's another one:

 

you thinkvolvos are both stylish and a good investment.

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Guest
Originally posted by gfreshsushi

you thinkvolvos are both stylish and a good investment.

 

ahhh... trick question!

 

No car is an 'investement' (save for really old models) because

you aren't actually 'investing' in them. Simply an investement

gives you a return on your money and most cars value drop by

about a grand as soon as they drive off the lot.

 

oops... I was acting very old right there.

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i know FOR DAMN SURE, that i'm not, and never will. being childish is always fun. i don't see how old people sit at home and read their newspapers, and drink they're coffee and shit like that. what's the FUN in that?

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Guest krie

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

dam working days

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My comments in Italics

 

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

-while not my own, the plants in my house are mostly alive

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

-this is dumb, next.

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

-its about even

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

-i agree with this most of the time

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

-dumb. next.

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

-TWC is very informative, but i dont watch it.

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup

and breakup.

-only 1

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

-not yet, but my summer aint no picnic

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

-jeans and tshirt is dressed up

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids

next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

-never

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

-always have

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

-still do, but i dont go.

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments

go up.

-total opposite

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

-no dog

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

-im used to it

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

-whenever i get the urge

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the

beginning of one.

-my girl and i love doing this, but we keep it creative

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would

severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

-agreed. i stick to burritos or pizza

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,

not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

-"I go for advil and condoms" -Kilo7

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

-wine is overrated. thats a sixpack of miller light tall boys right there!

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

-Only as a hangover-helper

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never

going to drink that much again."

-ive been drinking less, but itll no doubt pick up at anytime

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is

for real work.

-FALSE

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going

to a bar.

-thats pretty much all i do

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't

apply to you!

-BOO.

 

 

------------ My positive additions -------------

 

-You dont have to save up for weeks to get a playstation

 

i still have my SNES

 

-You know more about wine then just 'red or white'

 

always have

 

-You can talk to old people and make them laugh

 

fuck yeah, but i like old people making me laugh more.

 

-a 30 year old woman is closer to your age than your parents!

 

about even there

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

source

 

<span style='color:gold'>25 signs you've "grown up"</span>

 

How many apply to you?

 

My comments in Italics and BOLD

 

---------------------------------------Holler!

 

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

-true, but I limit myself to venus fly traps and cacti

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

-yes that is true, I cant see myself in a bed smaller than queen right now. I would feel like im in high school

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

-well at the moment I have more beer than food, but its all newcastle, bass and guinness, so I guess since its quality beer that def. ok.

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

-yeah.....sadly....but actually I enjoy being up early, and siezing the day....yeah....except weekends. then ill sieze all hours available.

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

-I like the oldies

Me too, but I havent been on an elevator that plays anythin gbut Kenny G

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

-Nope....but ill check the weather channel every now and again.

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup

and breakup.

-Only 1 or 2 of them

ditto

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

-not yet, seeing as how I am not full time employed

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

-hell yes they do, and if they dont you must be from crazy land or something.;)

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids

next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

-Nah Ill just ask them to turn it down, then yell if they dont

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

- that is correct, mildy akward, but yes true.

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

-I dont need to know. There's better places open later... that serve beer!

again Ditto

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments

go up.

-yup....but no payments here

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

-dont have a pooch right now, but I would probably feed it better than I do myself....

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

-no....the couch is a friendly sanctuary, especially when your off your rocker, and dont wanna climb the stairs to hit the rack...

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

-never take naps anyways....

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the

beginning of one.

-Always a lame thing to do. Try to be inventive kids

agreed....but i admit I have trouble in the inventive category there....

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would

severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

-do it occasionally but not as often as before....

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,

not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

-drugstore, schmugstore...dont go to 'em...

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

- I would never settle for boons wine or any of that but absolutely nothing is wrong with going out to buy a few mickeys quarts for 1.20 a pop....

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

-I really only eat bagels, sometimes an egg sandwhich thing...

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never

going to drink that much again."

-ummmmmmmmm...........yeahhhh/...??!!maybe...I cant remember...!?

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is

for real work.

- pretty much half work, half fucking around....bada bing!

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going

to a bar.

-Sure I do, when i can buy a six pack for the price of two bars at a shitty college town bar, believe im going to buy that six pack...

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't

apply to you!

-no....I just read the list....

 

 

------------ My positive additions -------------

 

-You dont have to save up for weeks to get a playstation

have one, probably not buying playstation3, then 4, then 5, then six....of course I say that now.......

 

-You know more about wine then just 'red or white'

I know little about wine, and dont care too, Id rather drink whisky and water if its not beer....schnooguns...

 

-You can talk to old people and make them laugh

hell yeah, Im a regular stand up comedian when it comes to that

 

-a 30 year old woman is closer to your age than your parents!

um...no comment....

 

 

phew...I guess im kinda old....

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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

 

true

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

 

false

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

 

true

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

 

i work 3rd so at 6a im still at work

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

 

false

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

 

false

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup

and breakup.

 

false

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

 

i have 0 vacation days

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

 

true

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids

next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

 

false

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

 

true

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

 

true

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments

go up.

 

false

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

 

true

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

 

false

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

 

i never took naps

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the

beginning of one.

 

false

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would

severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

 

false

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,

not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

 

false

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

 

dont drink

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

 

and at dinner time too

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never

going to drink that much again."

 

i dont drink

 

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is

for real work.

 

haha true

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going

to a bar.

 

dont drink

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't

apply to you!

 

false

 

 

------

 

conslusion i am an adult

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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

-i smoke any plant that is alive

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

-i like to have sex on the kitchen table

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

-i stash the beer underneth my bed

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

-i go to sleep at 10 am

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

-the elevators near my house play 50 cent

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

-i only watch the weather channel when i am going to be outside

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup

and breakup.

-there pregnate but no married

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

-i go on vaction whenever i fell fucking fell like buddy

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

-jeans and sweater are queer clothes

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids

next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

- i listin to the music nextdoor

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

-since when did my family not fell comfortable?

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

-taco bell is for beaner wannabes

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments

go up.

-cars are for pussys, real man take the bus

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

-i eat Science Diet and mcdonalds at the same time

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

-My couch unfolds into a bed!

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

-... i just dont understand this

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the

beginning of one.

-the girls i know dont date, just cut right to it to save time

since we are all "grown up" we hafe to save time

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would

severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

-chicken wings are for negros

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids,

not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

-I there for condoms when i am hungry

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

-price doesnt matter, its about the count baby

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

-breakfast is for little girls

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never

going to drink that much again."

-i am immune to hangovers everday

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is

for real work.

-anyone who uses there computer for work is a puppie.. er i mean a yuppie

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going

to a bar.

-you mean i dont drink at home to save whatever i have for

the abandoned parkinglot

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't

apply to you!

-non applied for me so i guess i am not grown up

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Guest imported_Europe

Kilo, you know youre old when your 7K accounts drops without you finding out...

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<span style='color:black'>

 

1. I don't smoke drugs. xedgex sons a bitches.

 

2. not having sex at all is absurd.

 

3. Hmm. I usually drink my dinner.

 

4. Depends on if i have to go to school/work. I still get jiggy. Isn't that what the kids are saying these days.

 

5. Yeah I caught myself humming to some song on the elevator the other day. But they were playing some pop music.

 

6. Umbrellas are for nerds. I watch the weather channel with my dad some times. The conversation usually goes. "looks like rain." - "yep!"- "yep!" followed by 20 minutes of silence.

 

7. My friends get knocked up and become baby daddys. They then move from the ghetto where it is cheap to the projects where it is cheaper. Way to go guys.

 

8. Yeah...That really sucks the perverbial fat one.

 

9. I'm with 455 on this one livin dirtneck status. So yes sweater and jeans would be ultra classy.

 

10. I'll go over there and make them understand if they dont shut the hell up then there will be problems. Fuckin kids.

 

11. No i have been hearing sex jokes from my parents and other relatives since i can remember.

 

12. I used to work at taco bell night shift. I will never forget.

 

13. My car insurance will never go down. Thats why i wont have it.

 

14. Dogs get on my nerves for some reason. Bastards.

 

15. Why would i sleep on the couch?

 

16. It all depends on how drunk i got the night before. Some times i just dont wake up.

 

17. Dinner and a movie? That better be one classy bitch.

 

18. It's all good, I'm gonna have the beer shits tomorrow any way. Might as well make it spicey.

 

19. Pregnancy tests? Why? It aint mine!!

 

20. On occasion i will still drink a bottle of rose just to get back to my roots.

 

21. I never ate breakfast foods at breakfast time. Breakfast is for people with too much time on their hands.

 

22. I Get Drunker Than You.

 

23. Man....I'd probably be making real work money too.

 

24. Yeah Im cheap...What about it.

 

25. I really could care less. This test has not helped me come to a conclussion one way or another.

 

 

Thank you for your time.</span>

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He Speaks.

 

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/12oz/potato.jpg'>

 

 

 

1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a

one of them.

 

I don't have any potted plants. I think plants are fucking stupid. I tried to convince Dad to only make animals cause they get to eat each other and have sex and all sorts of neat stuff, but instead he filled the world with a bunch of plants that are about as thrilling as a punch to the groin. Plus, without plants we wouldn't have any of those vegan fucks around.

 

 

 

 

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

 

I never got to have sex in my earth-roaming days (job restrictions), and even if I did, a twin bed would've been a fucking luxury. Try a fucking wooden bench. Thankfully there's tons of fluffy clouds around here. And an assload of dead nun groupies

 

 

 

 

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

 

I don't really need either. But I love beer, so I only have that in my fridge.

 

 

 

 

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

 

I'm usually passed out at 6:00, but whenever Dad comes home all drunk and shitfaced, and I know he's gonna oversleep, I have to set the alarm and get up at 5:30 so I can turn on the lights at 6:00. Never missed a day so far.

 

 

 

 

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

 

I've never ridden elevators. Only time I did was during the Ascension, and I used cherubs and angels to carry me up. I made them play "The Final Countdown" by Europe with their trumpets. That chorus melody is pretty fucking magical.

 

 

 

 

6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

 

Pffft. I AM the Weather Channel.

 

 

 

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.

 

No marriage in heaven. Just tons of free sex. Seriously guys, think about it. You still have a chance to repent.

 

 

 

 

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

 

No vacation. Just a day of rest per week. Sucks, but what the hell.

 

 

 

 

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'

 

Bah, a spiky crown and skimpy loincloth is enough for me. Could you believe those bastards wanted me to go naked? I was like "Dude, I'm gonna be scared shitless and in an unimaginable amount of pain, the shrinkage factor is gonna be way off the charts. Can I just have that little bit of dignity?" They were cool about it.

 

 

 

 

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

 

I usually just smite them... electrocute them, burn their house down. No need to get the police involved.

 

 

 

 

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

 

This is true. And it's disgusting cause Dad is a kinky fuck. An all-powerful kinky fuck.

 

 

 

 

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

 

There's no Taco Bell up here. They don't wanna open one cause "there's no money in it". Which is true, and understandable I guess.

 

 

 

 

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

 

I walk everwhere I go. Even over water.

 

 

 

 

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

 

Like I said, I only have beer in the fridge, so that's what the dog gets too.

 

 

 

 

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

 

No, being nailed to a fucking cross for 8 hours makes your back hurt.

 

 

 

 

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

 

Eveytime I take a nap during the day, I can't be on the lookout, and that's when bad things happen to good people (hope that answers that stupid fucking question everyone seems to ask). I try to not do this much, but man, somtimes you just can't help it, you know?

 

 

 

 

17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

 

I have the choice to take my dates on whichever spectacle I choose. If she's a romantic girl it could be an arctic sunset, if she's adventuresome I'll take her to watch a supernova, and if she's pretty punk rawk I can take her to Hell to watch some tragic dismemberments. Regardless of where, I usually get laid in the end.

 

 

 

 

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

 

Well, they don't really upset my stomach, but they make me fart like a fucking wizard. Add a Bic lighter and there's fun to be had for hours... I especially like how Canadians go "Ooooooh!!! Aaaaaaah!!!" when they see them in the sky, giving them all these fancy pretty names like "aurora borealis" or whatever the fuck they call it. Dude, you're watching my farts on fire, hahahaha. Fucking morons.

 

 

 

 

19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

 

I don't really need to go to the drugstore ever, since the only thing I ever buy anywhere is Duct Tape. That shit is great. Oh, and Bic lighters. But yeah, Duct Tape is rad, Dad even jokes about ending the world now cause humans have already achieved the only worthwhile thing they ever will in their existence.

 

 

 

 

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'

 

Psssh, just give me a bucket of water and I'll show you what the definition of pimp is.

 

 

 

 

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

 

Is Miller Lite a breakfast food?

 

 

 

 

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

 

Man, last time I got drunk on Earth, I got fucking CRUCIFIED the day afterwards. Probably the worst fucking way to spend a hangover. I still get stupid drunk and shit, but I always make sure of what's gonna happen the next day. I'm not going through that crap again, I don't care if I have to save humanity. You motherfuckers can do it on your own now.

 

 

 

 

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

 

I don't need a computer for my job, I only use it for 12oz.

 

 

 

 

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

 

I only go to bars that allow me to wear clever hats, and I'm usually friends with the owners, so I drink for free. Regardless, I still drink at home beforehand.

 

 

 

 

25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you!

 

Not really. Don't know what else to say to this question, so here is a picture of a squishy boob.

 

http://www.ctrlaltdel.org/clickclub/bbanima.gif'>

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^^^

 

Best.

 

Post.

 

Ever.

 

 

Christ, Christ, you made me laugh my ass off. Thanks for the good times (and the dying for our sins thing, too).

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