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Asphalt Makeover Appreciation

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I ate some of that delicious asphalt today riding my bike. Lets hear it for roadrash on the Face and Shoulders/Knees!

 

My Friend however who ate it a while back was cruising the bike trail when a kid ran out in front of him, so he went over the bars and sustained a 3rd degree separation in his left shoulder. Meanwhile the mother just went hysterical.

 

Im waitin for my black eye to come around these next few days..

 

 

I blame my situation soley on the friend who flaked out on me - The idea was to go trail riding in the moutains and look at the fires going on round these parts. But he flaked off and I went out on the street alone. That bastard. Id rather roll off a hill any day then take a face plant..

 

IT was one of those slow motion type deals where the only thought entering my head was "Get ready for the impact" (Had a helmet on) I rocked my jaw really good..

 

Nothing like the time previous to that where I didnt see the lip on this curb and comfortably rolled onto these peoples soft grass. Grass is so much more forgiving.

 

SO please share some stories of Eatin' It..:lick:

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i once was bombing down a hill on my skateboard when i got the speed wobbles and no "power slide" was gonna save my ass. My board flipped to the side, locked up and I was pitched off. I too experienced the whole slow down of time and I remember thinking "oh shit, i think i'm gonna hit my hip...." which i did and after finishing the four foot tragedy slide, I was the proud owner of a new bloody scrag up my side.

 

I still have the scar and when i wanna impress girls, I pull my shirt up and say "yo, see that? That's where I got stabbed once."

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so i'm sitting on the omni trans bus...the only one on the bus other than the driver , and i'm bumping the hell out of my new cd player...the bus driver who is a real bitch starts yelling at me to turn it off..so i say fuck off and turn it up even more...

 

she pulls the bus over to the side and tells me to get the hell off the bus.. so after using my new streak and pilot all over the front of the bus i decide to take off on the street wich is like this super downhill slope on my longboard..

 

the good thing is i have my foot acting as a brake so i can keep a slow pace...but i turn my head and the busdriver is speeding up and switching lanes so she can hit me..

 

so i started pushing with all the strength i could downhill , and by now i was going at least 20-27 mph and my board started wobbling really bad and i couldnt move over to the other side of the street for another ten seconds and the bus was at least 10 feet behind me.

 

and when i got the chance i made a hard left that made me fly off my board and skid/bounce across the street downhill. and stop flat on my back right on the corner of the curb.

 

my shirt and under shirt on my side and back where worn all the way through with holes ,my pants looked like i held a lighter to them my palms and elbows,shoulders,knees, had the skin shredded off and gravel inside the cuts, my ribs felt like hell, and i had a huge gash next to my left eye...to this day is a scar.

and my board sailed down the street into the gutter but since its a longboard it was only sticking in halfway..

 

but what sucked was i had only three blocks from that spot to get off home so i had to walk it the whole way limping and bleedin with a broken cdplayer.

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I also had a buddy who hopped a curb on his bmx only to land with the handlebar jammed into his stomach. This resulted in him having his splean taken out.

 

My good friend attempted to go down the steepest hill in the city on a longboard. Well he didnt make it too far before he wiped out and ended up lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

 

My brother was biking around this 7-11 with a guitar & case on his back when this lady who lived down the street backed over him. Apparently he doesnt remember anything else - from the concussion it gave him.

 

Hey moogle - I busted my walkman today too...I cannot explain how dirt penetrated my shirt, getting dirt on my chest but not actually ripping it..weird

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i think it gets in between the fibers and rubs into the skin...i think

 

 

and dont you hate how the batteries always fly the hell out..

 

 

but the worst falls are the ones you see right before they happen and you know you can stop it but you eat shit anway...i need to invent hover bikes and boards

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Lets just say. Went off jump. Woke up 5 mins later in a pool of blood. Landed right on my chin so my lower lip was detached to the bottom of my chin. Basically took the pocket inbetween your lip and teeth/gums and ripped it open so it was big and went down to the bottom of my chin. Like a kangaroo pouch, my lip was all hanging down. They sewed it back on though and its normal now.

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Just the other day I was riding home from work, and riding with no hands. So I decided that since I had two free hands, that I was gonna pick my nose. That was when, all of the sudden, my front wheel went berserk, and I took a header and fucked up the palms of my hands royally.

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i was 50-50ing this little ledge. i had already landed it a couple of times,

and i hit it again and something just went wrong. the next thing i knew

i was on the ground. i tried to catch my glasses, so they didnt break

when they hit the ground, but i missed catching em. i am laying flat on

the ground, the wind knocked out of me. i pick up my glasses, and

somehow they managed not to break. thats when the pain set in. the

first thing that hit the ground was the right side of my chest, then my

knee hit the ledge.

 

bruised/cracked ribs really fucking suck

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Guest im not witty

i got my first skateboard in 1987. it is now 2003. i have a roadmap of scars as evidence.

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"skatepark" in the basement of a former job, went to icepick some box we hadnt properly secured yet and it slid out letting me land perfectly on my left knee which promptly swelled up to the size of a softball. an hour later my boss hired a stripper to come over for a bunch of my friends. so i ended up sitting on the same box telling her to watch my blown knee while giving me a lapdance. hoo-rah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 friends have destroyed their ankles.......literally destroyed them. one of which i saw......pretty disturbing sight when the shin to foot which is usually a straight line, now forms an "L". ick.

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I've skidded across pavement, dirt and lake water so many times its amazing I'm not in a wheel chair. Separated my shoulder twice. Going by the 1-6 grades...the first one was a 1 and the second was a 3. the next time it happens...its guaranteed to be a 4 or higher...which means another surgery.

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july 2003

 

i'm leaving work, headed home to get ready to go to the airport to leave for Bali

 

i'm hauling ass down ******* St. , which is paved with asphalt that has broken shards of glass embedded in the tar to improve traction/roadlife/etc.

 

suddenly an ancient caprice pulls out of his parking spot on the left side of the street, where i was because of a bus which had just left the right curbside...as he pulls from the spot, i slow down considerably..

but then he slams on his brakes, he had tried to make a sudden left hand turn without signalling, but a delivery truck was exiting that alley, so it was completely blocked. he stops suddenly, and due to the bus on my right, and my lack of brakes, i hurtled into his back bumper, over my handlebars and nearly under the wheels of the bus.

 

it was july, so i was in a tanktop.

i put a front tooth through my upper lip and i have a nice asterisk shaped chip in my tooth, further compounding the previous damage done to it. i had a lot of road rash on my face, my right arm, my chest and my legs..my boob had also popped out of my shirt and was on display for a moment before i realized.

 

 

....................

 

last winter i was driving down the road and some asshole ran a red light and smashed into my car (going at over 70 mph) and shattered 6 of my ribs, a collarbone, lacerated my spleen and left lung and contused my kidney.

 

 

have a nice day.

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went white water rafting in the highlands of virginia/N. carolina and had brought the ol' skateboard and decided to bomb a super steep curving hill, car came in the other direction, i swerve and get pitched into this ravine goin at least 20, wake up a minute later and sister/friends are like wholly shit....ah good times good times

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one time while i was watering my pink rose garden and i was walking barefoot because im a filthy dirty hippy who listens to phish, and i walked out into the street to put something in the recycling, and i stubbed my toe on the icky hard cement.

 

but ill have you know that i only cried for twenty minutes:king:

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I've had so many accidents from skating. I can dislocate my shoulder on purpose and pop it back in and it doesn't hurt. I bruised my tailbone really bad and couldn't walk at all for a week and had pain walking for months. bruised nuts. i fell forward and put the meaty part of my palm directly onto this jagged piece of metal that happened to be sticky out of the ground, the meaty part near my thumb was just hanging off all crazy and I could see all the fat inside my hand. accidentally doing the splits.

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eating shit and getting fucked up are totally different... getting fucked up could be you cracked your dome, broke your arm, etc.. eating shit, to me, is just smacking the ground hard as fuck.

 

when i was like 11 i went down a hill on my skateboard, got speed wobble, tried to just step off and run it out... foot touched the ground and i was instantly on my face... but in a way it happened in slow motion too... road rash all over my frontal...

 

in the years of skateboarding between then and now i have eaten much shit... at the bottom of stairs... on the flatbottom of ramps... pyramids, rails, gaps, the middle of the street, rolling off and ollieing up fucking curbs numerous times for no reason... im versed in the shit eating field (immunity).

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I was driving drunk through a tunnel tonight, right after i got done drawing on some girls boobs, and when i hopped on the off ramp and came a long a blind corner i almost crashed into a fire bird that was sideways across the road. There was bushes and all types of shit scattered all infront of the car. When I drove past I played the part of the concerned citizen and was wondering where all of this other shit came from.

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Asphalt Manicure

 

Today I ate some oily, gravel covered asphalt. This time I was on a 21 gear softail mountain bike. Im crankin' along thinking Im in the highest gear trying to beat my time from the day before. So I decided to stand up and really start to gain speed when all of a sudden the gears totally cease up..like I was in the lowest gear..My right foot slips through the pedals touches the asphalt - BANG! the pedal comes around and hits the back of my right calf I'm instanly airborne and kinda blank out from the impact. I guess I rolled once (rock mark on my back) estimated speed had to bearound 15-20 MPH. After the initial roll I came sliding maybe 5 feet with my palm flat against my chest (my upper body on top of it) As Im slid I tried to pull right arm out, but I didnt do that untill I completley stopped sliding. Ripped up my pinky nail..and shaved alot of the pinky flesh off, also the ring finger. My index knuckle was brased off. The biggest deepest abraision is on my wrist - that one wouldnt stop bleeding..everytime I flexed my wrist it would just start gushing. Some Darvocet knocked me right out, But I blew chunks from it. Next 2 days Ill be trying to avoid the whole infection deal..I cleaned and cleaned at it but it was still black and grey. Saw a docter and really had it cleaned up, with tweezer and scalpel.

So happy 21st Botday..I cant even drink cause of the darvocet..typing with 7 good fingers..

 

I saw some stars! well they were more like diamonds come to think of it, flying all around and fading away - must seen 40 of them..:lol:

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this shit is disgusting but i read every dam post on this thread.. crazy..

crazy like a clown.

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Guest KING BLING

I dont bike....but when I was young I went with my uncle and some older kids for a bike ride in the mountains. The first stretch was a gravel road with pretty steep hills, mind you I was on a BMX with foot brakes. My uncle had insisted on buying me a helmet on the way up (since my parents never had). Well I was going down one particularly steep hill and I was gaining too much speed. I tried to slow down but the footbreaks simply caused my tires to wobble and slide around, losing control until I panicked and stopped completely. I flew face first over my handle bars and landed on my head, slashing my chin, hands, elbows and knees. My helmet cracked in half and probably saved my young life...it was the first and only time I ever wore a helmet.

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these are good stories. heres a couple, not happening to me though

when i was like 12, i was rding bikes with a couple friends and this one kids bike needed a little tuning up. so one kid speeds up to do a weely but wehn he comes down, the nut wasnt tightened enough and the front weel just rolled foward. his arms got tangled up in the front bars and his face just slip on the pavment. one side was all-i mean all- bloody while the other side was normal. he couldnt open one eye because of it. it was like the phantom of the opera but the mask was skin colored and bloody instead of blach and white:D

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MORE PEOPLE MUST CONTRIBUTE STORIES

 

5, goin' on 6 days later - All the swelling in my hand, and wrist is gone. I feel more flexible in the knuckles/joints and can form a soft fist. Be back on a bike this friday :crazy:

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