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Guest BROWNer

BadGas_____________________________

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Guest BROWNer

symptoms:

bloated gut.

gaseous movements.

 

uncouth:

farting in class.

farting on someone's head or face.

cupping it, then bringing it up to your

face for maximum nasal permeationsz.

 

solution:

exit populated vicinity and release.

don't eat a fucking load of bran or

beans..or.....

 

questionairre:

do you fart in the populated area anyhow?

this could include a movie theatre(the ultimate no-no?)

do you fart on your girlfriends face?

 

aside:

i had a friend who had a friend..this guy apparently was

going out with an extremely hot woman..anyhow, he eventually got

dumped becuz one morning he woke her up by squatting

over her face with a naked crotch, then woke her up and

gave her the smotherey funk airbrush. class act.

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Guest

the dreaded cinema fartsz!

 

I blame the popcornz.

Some foodsz just seem to bring out the gaszy fartsz.

Maybe it's becuasze you end up eating a lot of air with

every bite of poopcornsz. Movie Threatresz are just not safe anymore.

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by BROWNer

this could include a movie theatre(the ultimate no-no?)

 

 

the ultimate no-no is elevators

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how about the ultimate no-no being at my job

receptionist, in a closed room all by myself

so if any employees come in and i just let one go.....they all know who the culprit is.

I hide under my desk in the fetal position and whimper until they go away.

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Guest BROWNer

yea but you can exit the elevator with the quickness.

the theatre you're stuck in the cloud unless you really want

to get up and move and make a scene.

 

i'll revise..

the ultimate no-no has got to be first date gas blastsz.

unless the chick annoys you off and then its all good..

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Originally posted by BROWNer

cupping it, then bringing it up to your

face for maximum nasal permeationsz.

 

HOLLER!

 

i don't mind if there's a fart smell in an air-conditioned room. but if it's the heater that's on...hell no.

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if i am in a situation where my "special air" is going to conflict with my interests and/or intentions then i go to the restroom.

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Guest BROWNer

hahaha, special air..

 

it minorly irks me that i can't squeeze off.

or if i really need to, then do, and think i'm safe

from any interference, then somebody walks up

fucking sits down right beside me...

what do you say?

 

usually nothing..heh...

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by BROWNer

yea but you can exit the elevator with the quickness.

the theatre you're stuck in the cloud unless you really want

to get up and move and make a scene.

 

i'll revise..

the ultimate no-no has got to be first date gas blastsz.

unless the chick annoys you off and then its all good..

 

Elevators are uneasy places to begin with...even for two floors distance you get to inhale half the strangers special air...yikes.

 

As far as first date:

Heres a story.

 

I was at a club with a friend, his girl..and her sister...after drinks and drinks me and the sis hooked. We went at the girls house. My friend and his girl went in the mutual sisters room, so we stayed at the couch..did what we did and then she went all over me and fell asleep...not exactly asleep though...it was the kind of cuddle sleep where you wake up and sleep all the time. As she was on me, her ass was pressing my special gas factory making want to fart like a dinosaur...my eyes kept closing only to wake up 1 minute later in agony...everytime i was feeling the gas armed...so i closed my eyes again...after 10 nap brakes..i wake up feeling RELIEVED...i still dont know what happened but i'm sure that couch has a hole...or burnt fiber

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by BROWNer

hahaha, special air..

 

it minorly irks me that i can't squeeze off.

or if i really need to, then do, and think i'm safe

from any interference, then somebody walks up

fucking sits down right beside me...

what do you say?

 

usually nothing..heh...

 

Hahaha, to bad you dont smoke man.

You light up a cig and keep peoples noses with that.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

And the story i told reminded me of another classic one.

That friend of mine that was dating the older sister was telling me

his technique on fart case #349/gh8: Farting in Bed

 

He'd fart with his hands over the blanket (making sure no gas leaks towards their heads) then he would lift the blanket on its lower edge using his foot to create a ventilation hole...and finally he'd pretend he's scratching his chest over the blanket using vertical scratch strokes forcing the special gas to escape from the ventilation...

 

i was laughing for 3 days with that one.

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by PedroHammers

damn tesser, you touched on the subject while i was typing my reply. damn.

 

Hahaha, word!..its a tough situation for sure

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Guest Pilau Hands
Originally posted by BROWNer

yea but you can exit the elevator with the quickness.

the theatre you're stuck in the cloud unless you really want

to get up and move and make a scene.

 

i'll revise..

the ultimate no-no has got to be first date gas blastsz.

unless the chick annoys you off and then its all good..

i don't know fellas,

 

my vote for the ultimate no-no would have to be the packed commuter train car blast. that's just a slap in the face to anyone around you, and you can't move or do a damn thing. there's no where to escape to whether you would or not. plus there are so many people, it's impossible to look for the guilty party and shun them. SHUUNNNN!

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by Pilau Hands

i don't know fellas,

 

my vote for the ultimate no-no would have to be the packed commuter train car blast.

 

We got a winner!

packed trains are definatelly an all around odor adventure.

One time, 45 celsium outside, i had this short bald old stinkin' man right in front of me...i swear his scull smelled like death...The picture of the sweatdrips going downhill on his old rotten scullskin still hunt me.

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by CinchedWaist

I say fuck it as long as they don't know its you (silent killers)

 

I agree unless you're not the killer...

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Guest
Originally posted by Tesseract

The picture of the sweatdrips going downhill on his old rotten scullskin still hunt me.

 

Dude!

 

why didn't you say hello to me?

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Originally posted by PedroHammers

what about the "first time with a new girl in a bed" gas?

i know i am not the only one that gets that, or maybe i am.

 

definitely been there. no matter how well the date went...you can't wait to leave. second you walk out the door...let it rip. on this note...how about when you're having sex with a girl...and a big ole LOUD fart escapes.

 

some of the worst ones have been when you're stuck in a car and someone lets it go. its kinda funny waiting for the smell to drift around the car and see each person notice it. all windows down quickly ensues after the detection.

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Guest im not witty

hahahaha. oh man, tangerines, keep me away from tangerines, when i eat them, the things that come out of my ass, can only be classified as weapons. WMD even... dear jesus.

 

 

oh but what about this special air dilemna. when youre cuddled up with your girl naked, youve got your back to her, and shes spooned up close behind you with her arm draped over, her crotch or stomach right up against your butt...and then here comes the swellin' belly.

 

pop quiz hot shit, what do you do>?:lol:

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